Gains, failures and feelings

Day 33 (Monday 2nd January 2017)

33% increase in hospital admissions for allergic reactions and anaphylactic shock,
compared to 5 years ago, according to data from NHS Digital released in October 2016.
Doctors and scientists believe that the increase is due to our living in cleaner environments
and hence not having to opportunity to build up natural resistances to substances like dust and pollen.

Today's post is a brave and honest poem by Maya Drøschler that reflects on the highs and lows of her past 12 months. As you will appreciate, once you have read her verse, Maya has experienced some significant heights, as well as some hollows, (in what she has described to me as "successes, failures and feelings") during the time that she has set up her own business. She has clearly learned from everything that has happened.

Maya is Danish and lives in Copenhagen (although her clients come from wider afield). Given the style of her post, it should perhaps come as no surprise that Maya's university degree was in Literature with a minor in Philosophy. She has retained her connections with Academia and now occasionally acts as a guest lecturer in HR and People Management. She writes a good and informative blog - in Danish - HR forretning (which translates as HR Business). She has a background in HR (and has worked in Retail, Engineering and Medical Technical Equipment and Analysis).

Maya now runs her own business and specialises in what she calls "The Point of HR" - that intersection between HR and communications. She is very commercial in approach, believing that a business and its leaders need to bear in mind: • a company's particular industry and its place within that sector, including the broader competitive environment • available research and knowledge • global trends in business creation and professional life. She is a huge fan of technology and believes that, used wisely, it will greatly enhance the workplace. Maya uses technology herself, you can find her on Twitter (her handle is @MayaDroeschler).

As well as being a passionate business woman, Maya is also a passionate parent and cares for mothers and children within society. She supports the charity Mødrehjælpen, which helps pregnant women, and families with children, in vulnerable situations with social, professional, legal and financial advice, as well as offering a variety of programs and interventions for young parents and those who have suffered violence, in particular vulnerable women and children.

All of the pictures used in the post have been provided by Maya herself.

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Gains, failures and feelings  

Leaving my job to become an entrepreneur: gains, failures and feelings   

Heights

The sensation of freedom when I quit my job

A leap into daylight, leaving the mob

I had clients; I had money coming in - 

There was no way I could lose; I was smart and thin

Hollows

I spent all my savings; I spent every dime

When clients stopped calling at the most crucial time

With agony growing, I met my deepest fears

My fear of not succeeding, neglected for years

Hearts

A heart is always broken; all perfection has a scar

My daughter moved away from home, my cat crushed by a car

I buried the cat, I promised the girl

She would feel safe & loved in her bright new world

Heights

The feeling of mastery, the concept of thrill

When I got a new, big client and they paid their bill.

I felt like a champion, I felt like a queen

I was developing into a money machine

Hollows

My flaws began appearing and they were real

Suddenly, I was no rock star; I could not close the deal

The world didn’t need me as much as I needed it

I was overwhelmed by doubt, I was ready to submit

Hearts

Apparently, I attracted scumbags and crooks

And this is a sad fact, but not as bad as it looks

Big-hearted people are not always those you suspected

But they are out there somewhere, and you need to collect them

Heights, hollows and hearts

I quit my job to face fear and challenge

I quit my job to give life a new balance 

No one will pay me just to show up

And no one, but me, will decide when to stop

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Should you follow your dreams and do something completely different with your life?

The New Year is an ideal opportunity to think about your future. I decided to quit my job during the Christmas holidays last year. I’ve never earned this little, I’ve never learned this much.         

Happy New Year!

Filling hollows

Day 30 (Friday 30th December 2016)

30 and 35 times the mass of the sun were the sizes of the two 

black holes that were observed merging in June 2016 (and making a 

feeble bird-like cheap when doing so, when the gravitational waves produced, 

as they spiralled ever closer and then combined, were converted into sound waves). 

This momentous discovery demonstrates Einstein's prediction that spacetime can ripple 

and verifies astrophysicists' calculations for how black holes can fuse). 

This has been hailed by many scientists as the greatest scientific finding of 2016.

I love the lull before the New Year - a chance to reflect and plan, even when you have to be back at work during the few days between festivities. Today's post by Mark Hendy might help you to reconsider your life and whether you have the right focus and priorities. Mark is an inspirational and proud proud Welshman. He lives in south east Wales in an area that for centuries has been famous for iron and coal. Mark is a respected HR professional - he started as in HR at Tata Steel before taking on various roles in a range of companies and industries, predominantly in the UK, but with stints in North America. He cares about HR and its role in enhancing individuals and organisations, which inspired him to found and now chair the South Wales HR Forum.

When not focussing on HR, leadership and change management (he is a strong advocate of Authentic Leadership and the value of Evidence-based HR/Evidence-based management), he can be found being a great dad to young Oscar, cheering on or ranting about Swansea FC, boxing or playing music. He is an accomplished guitar player and member of a band. He is quick witted (can be quite sharp) and a writes an interesting, HR focused blog - Hendys HR Blog, as well as being active on Twitter (his handle is @markSWHRF). I'm sure he'd love to hear from you.

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Filling hollows 

I’ve always anticipated a career being some sort of progressive, transcending elevation following the traditional routes, taking the anticipated hits of responsibility, occasional discomfort and situational stress with the obvious benefits of job satisfaction, excitement and salary enhancement. That’s how the last 15 years in HR has been for me and I’m extremely grateful and dare I say it, proud of what I’ve achieved.

I reflected this year on where I was at. Career-wise it was at ‘Head of HR’ level, managing a team of HR Managers, delivering strategic work and, I felt, making a real difference. That’s the ‘Heights’ elements of this. I felt I was “almost there” career-wise for where I aspired to be, but it was coming at a price and I didn’t like it. Things just didn’t feel right, and I guess that's the ‘hollow’. 

My role at the time, along with feedback from a CIPD membership upgrade had made me realise that I had some gaps, particularly in OD where I needed to strengthen my experience. I also missed the heavy industry environments that I had spent most of my career working in, more so than I thought I would when I stepped out of that world. I was no longer convinced that I could plug those professional gaps that I needed to in my role at the time, despite working for a great organisation with fantastic people. It was a huge and extremely difficult personal decision but I needed to move on, step out of that career path that had served me well for the last 15 years and find a role that was going to help me plug those gaps. And that new role, for the first time in my career, was not going to be an “upwards move” as I often heard people say in the corporate world.

But what was more important than this, was I wanted to be home more. My previous role had me all around the country with regular overnight stays in soulless hotels, with minimal interaction with anybody. Meanwhile at home, was my wife and my son. A 2 year old, growing up so quickly, often enquiring where I was (thank goodness for FaceTime by the way). When I wasn’t away from home, I worked in the capital, often getting home 30-60 minutes before my son’s bed time. 

When people asked me how old my son was, they often followed up with “make the most of those early years, they go so quickly, the children grow up so fast.” So far that seems factually (if not literally) correct. I knew things had to change. 

And so fast forward 6 months. I’ve found the job I needed. I’ve started to plug those gaps and It’s filling that hollow. 

I no longer work in the city and I get to spend a lot more time with my family (i’m not bragging, but I’m home by 2pm on a Friday!). 

A great reason to get home by 2.00pm

I needed the change, it was made possible, and I feel infinitely better because of it, despite my initial reservations about how it might affect my career progression. Professionally and personally, sometimes you just have to listen to your heart. The heights can wait.  

A New Star

Day 38 (Thursday 7th January 2016)

38 is often referred to as "Triple Prosperity" in Chinese culture.
Both the number "3" and "8" are viewed as auspicious - number 3 sounds similar
to the character for "birth" and number 8 resembles the word for "prosper" or "wealth".
Illustration - Chinese 3 coin earrings representing triple prosperity

Today's very personal and inspiring post is by Laura Codling an Organisational Development Business Partner at Torus, based in Manchester, UK. You can follow Laura on Twitter (her handle is @Laura_Torus). On graduating in HR Management and Accounting at Bolton, Laura commenced her HR career with the Police in Manchester, before transferring into a project management role in HR within Bolton Council's Adult Disability Services department. She left the public sector in 2008, moving into not-for-profit; she joined Helena Partnerships, developers and providers of affordable housing. She moved again last October to Torus (a new name within the affordable homes sector). Laura was born on Valetine's Day. She has a powerful moral compass and loves the challenges of working in an environment that stretches her and where she is helping make the world a better place. She has a passion for learning and a fascination with effecting positive change.

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This blog, whilst a little self indulgent (its about my experiences after all!), is hopefully a timely reminder to all of us about appreciation and living in the present. You may read this and not be able to relate to what I'm saying, but I'd like to think that everyone can take away something, even if it only serves to remind you that you already cherish the events and people that are in your life.

When you strive for goals it's easy to forget that the journey holds its own experiences and memories and sometimes we forget to appreciate it along the way. It sounds like common sense doesn't it?

I've heard it said many times, but it's one of those things that usually only hits home when a life event stops you in your tracks and you reflect back. The benefits of hindsight are immense.

I have always been a bit of a perfectionist wanting everything to be "just so" with boxes ticked, I's dotted and T's crossed. I have always labelled it as being "determined and driven", but you can get to the point where you are so focussed on the goal that you forget to enjoy the journey and appreciate the experience of where you have been, where you are now and where you are going.

I'll give you an example.....When I finished work for maternity leave to have my first child I was really anxious about being off work - would things be done how I do them?; would the managers I supported get the support they expected.....? I actually worried about whether they would cope without me! (No seriously I did - this wasn't about me having an inflated sense of what I contribute, but about me needing to feel that I mattered.)

I didn't spend days at home waiting for her arrival wondering what was happening at work, but that is only because she arrived the day before I was due to finish work! I went from one busy existence to another in less than 24 hours and I soon realised that a shift in focus was a good thing for me on so many levels.....and, you know what? I didn't obsess about being off, and work didn't fall apart!

We can become so immersed in our own part of the world that perspective can become skewed and small things can become international disasters. I had been so focused up to that point on my career that I couldn't see outside of it, which is pretty sad to think when I look back now.

Still Life and Street, 1937, Escher's 1st print of distorted perspective

Now, after a few massive events in my life including another period of maternity leave, I have to say my outlook is very different, but this was probably the first time I stopped and thought long and hard about what really mattered to me.

Up until that point, if you'd asked me who inspired me in life I would probably have picked some pretty obvious names - Sheryl Sandberg, Richard Branson - but, not wanting to take anything away from what they have achieved in their careers, I've come to realise that inspiration can be found closer to home and people close to you can have a far more profound impact than someone that you may never meet.

Circle of Calm painting by Katie Berggren

My inspiration now comes from a small group of people far closer to home and one little girl in particular. Georgia is my niece and the bravest person I know. At 9 years old she has gone through more on this earth than any one of us will go through in our lifetimes, battling cancer for the last 4 years. She fought hard to beat the odds, always with a smile on her face, a sparkle in her eye and you would never hear her complain. She took every day as it came, faced unimaginable obstacles and appreciated everything and everyone around her.

I should also point out that I am in awe of her mum (my sister); Georgia was, and always will be, the centre of her world and she has worked tirelessly. She has bravery, care and resilience by the bucket load.

Our hearts have been broken, we said "au revoir" to our gorgeous Georgia a few days before Christmas, after her brave and courageous fight and we will be led by the bravest lady I know. I am proud to say I'm related to them both and, if I have even a fraction of the courage and resilience they have had, then I'm good.

I no longer focus ahead at the goal so much, yes the goals I have for my life are still there (very definitely adjusted from the goals of 5 or 6 years ago) but it's much more about the journey, the experiences and the people along the way.

Blazing a trail is great but missing out on seeing the events, experiences and people that have been part of creating it and appreciating the journey would be such a shame wouldn't it?

A Path to Compassion - Day 51

Day 51 (20th January 2015)

51% is the minimum maize content in Bourbon Whiskey

(with the other grains usually being a mixture of Rye and Malt).
Most distillers use 65-75% "corn" hence the sweet taste.

It must begin ageing in charred oak barrels (for colour & flavour) 

at no more than 125 proof and be bottled between 80 and 160 proof.

Un-aged Bourbon is called White Dog.

There are more barrels of Bourbon than people in Kentucky.

Illustration - 19th Century Bourbon bottle

Today's post is by Janice Howitt - a wonderful lady whom I met when we were colleagues in Edinburgh in 2011.  Janice is an experienced Senior HR Manager at RBS. When I was with her she worked formidable hours and some colleagues were slightly intimidated by her. She is a strong character and has a quick wit. We forged a friendship and remained in touch when I left. I have immense admiration for the way in which Janice has coped with the trails of the past two years. This is her first ever blog. She read others' posts that I had linked on Facebook and decided to contribute. In her piece below she is making a public pledge that many of us would do well to emulate.

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Compassion  can be defined as the  emotion  that one feels in response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help. Nowhere has this been more evident than in recent days in my wonderful dear city of Glasgow. The bin lorry tragedy followed so recently after the Clutha Bar tragedy, bookending two festive periods, has left the city with a dreadful sense of loss and questioning why. And yet what we have seen in Glasgow are human beings showing and demonstrating real compassion in such terrible events. 

Clutha disaster - police helicopter crash, November 29th 2013

The bin lorry crash resonated so deeply with us all for three reasons; firstly, an incident so near Christmas causing death, injury and emotional distress is always tragic, secondly Glasgow and its people suffering again from what could be described as an act of God so soon after Clutha has felt unjust, and thirdly, it happened in a busy shopping and commuting area of Glasgow where any one of us may have been that day, had fate shared a different hand. 

View down Queen Street towards George Square, Glasgow
shortly after bin lorry crash, 22nd December 2014

What was witnessed was truly awful and yet people helped in their droves, treating the injured, closing eyes of the dead and supporting other human beings in their time of need. 

Glaswegian compassion
Floral tributes and messages for the victims of the crash in George Square

Today a vigil at the first of the crash sites attracted more than 1000 people, each joined in grief, compassion and a unified desire to help others. 

Glasgow vigil, Sunday 28th December 2014

This is the city I know, the people I love and the spirit I am proud of. Prayers and thoughts are with those affected directly or indirectly by these events and I am hopeful that over time, these people can heal and recover.

I Wish I was In Glasgow -sung by Iain MacKintosh, composed by Billy Connolly

This recent tragedy, and the reaction of normal people, has motivated me to engage differently with my own emotional responses to compassion going forwards. Too often, I am motivated to help others in response to my emotions, but I choose not to. I am realistic - I know that I will never give my life up to go and volunteer to help stop the spread of Ebola, and perhaps I don't need to, but too often life gets in the way and the smaller, less material things, which I could do to help others, get brushed aside. The people who lose out are those I have emotionally responded to, but then done nothing for. 

In the latter part of 2013 I contracted Septicaemia, given only a 20% chance of survival and recovered. 2014 has consequently been a year of recuperation, with long periods off work and the isolation associated with this, the discovery of true friendship, the divorce of some other friendships and learning to adjust to a different pace of life. I have however been given a gift that I truly cherish: I have learnt to properly balance my work and personal life, am significantly less stressed, I now have a perspective I have never had and an inner peace that only comes with facing death, choosing life and valuing family and friendships. 

Perhaps it has also been this life changing event that has engendered in me a desire to be more compassionate to others and try to actively and passionately help others. 

Perhaps it was always there but life, work, and exhaustion gave me neither the clarity or desire to change from FEELING compassionate of others and events, to ACTING also on these emotions. 

Proactive Compassion
Generosity Bestowing Her Gifts, by Giovanni Battista, 1734

And so, I am committed in 2015 to "pay it forward", choosing carefully the events, occasions or people I will not just desire to help, but ACTUALLY help.

These will not be monumental actions such as responding to Ebola or War but neither will they be the easy choices, such as always donating money. These will be the choices that require time, courage, commitment and consistency of response from me and I hope, by taking this approach, I can do a little to help others. Glasgow as a city and a population will continue to support those affected by recent events, show and demonstrate compassion well beyond 2014 and I too will now step up and do more to help others.

Providing a helping hand

My questions to you are: 

"Do you feel, do you act, do you walk by, do you care?" 

and 

"What if it were you who needed help and support, who would be there for you?" 

One act, one time, one event, one person, is all it takes.......

The Good Samaritan by Honoré Daumier ,1828
Burrell Collection, Glasgow