Be the light - Day 24

Day 24 (Sunday 24th December 2017)

24 times in a row - the number of times a radio DJ in Austria played Wham's
"Last Christmas" after blockading the door to the studio to stop others from getting
in to change the record. Jo Kohlhofer wanted to "get listeners into a festive spirit"
and ignored callers begging him to stop. He only ceased after his 4-year-old
daughter was put on the line to tell him how much she hated the song.

This Advent is flying past, it's Christmas Eve already. Have you been naughty or nice? Today's author is unfailingly nice. He is Mark Catchlove, the Director of the Knowledge and Insight Group at Herman Miller. Mark is a thought leader on the work environment and what occupiers and designers need to bear in mind when creating great places. I first encountered Mark on Twitter (you can follow him too - his handle is @markcatchlove). He writes an excellent blog and he will make you think. He wrote a very popular post for a former Advent Blogs series on our need to be there and shine a light for others. This year's post also encourages us to share and support. Mark is musical - an enthusiastic and accomplished singer and guitarist. Mark is values driven, he does his bit to make the world a better place - such as by running youth clubs and Sunday schools and being a stalwart of his local community. 

All of the photographs illustrating the piece have been taken by Mark himself. 

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"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

Make a difference - be the change - be the light in the darkness.

Total darkness can only exist if there is no light.
Even a dimly glowing light is better than no light.

Some people can see better in the gloom than others.
Some people are even afraid to open their eyes in the darkness.
Some people need to be helped along the way.
Some people just need to know if they require help it is readily available.

Light gives direction.
Light leads the way.
Light gives hope.
Light sustains life.
Lights work together to dispel the darkness and make a brighter world.

Be a light to others as their light appears to be fading.
Share the light, don't keep it all to yourself.

There will be times when you will need to let others light your way - don't be too proud to walk in the light of others.

Make a difference - be the change - be the light in the darkness.

Regent Street angel picture taken by Mark Catchlove Dec. 2017

Waiting for the dawn - Day 19

Day 19 (Tuesday 19th December 2017)

19 years ago Cuba lifted its 30-year ban on Christmas.
Fidel Castro declared the government atheist after the coup in 1952 and 
abolished the paid Christmas Day public holiday in 1969 because, he said,
he needed everyone to work on the sugar harvest. Being a Christian festival, 
it should come as no surprise that Christmas is not recognised predominantly in parts 
of the Middle East and Asia. Countries in which Christmas is not a formal public holiday 
include Afghanistan, Algeria, Azerbaijan, Bahrain, Bhutan, Cambodia, China (excepting 
Hong Kong and Macao), Comoros, Iran, Israel, Japan, Kuwait, Laos, Libya, Maldives, 
Mauritania, Mongolia, Morocco, North Korea, Oman, Pakistan, Qatar, Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic, 
Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Tajikistan, Thailand, Tunisia, Turkey, Turkmenistan, 
United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, and Yemen.

We have our office Christmas Party this evening. Many firms, due to the diverse nature of the workforce now have "Winterval" parties or a "seasonal event", we however, being a long-established UK business, remain traditional. We are off to celebrate in the vaults of Old Billingsgate Market.

Today's piece was a challenging piece to write and some may find it a challenging read. It has been written in the form of "Wild Writing", similar to Free Writing, which, as Wikipedia states, is a "technique in which a person writes continuously for a set period of time without regard to spelling, grammar, or topic. It produces raw, often unusable material, but helps writers overcome blocks of apathy and self-criticism." Clearly, this piece is usable, but I am sorry to say that the author, despite being determined to write a piece for the series, was unable to produce anything without resorting to this method, as they either rejected or over-stressed about and edited until the piece lost its authenticity. They have asked to present anonymously, although they are aware that people who know them well will recognise them from what they have written.

For reasons that will be obvious after you have read it, I have not interrupted the flow of the words with any illustrations, other than at the start and the end.

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This is the third time I have written my contribution for the Advent blog and this is also the third style I have written it in as there is something that I want to write but I don’t want to write because it is going to mean saying things that I don’t want to say which sounds very confusing as I write it ummmm I’d like to say that it is because I don’t want to say them to the world but that is bollocks the reality is that I don’t want to say it to myself *lets out a massive sigh* this is the darkest year I have experienced in living memory I had a fairly dark one 4 years ago because I made some choices that seemed right but were very wrong and so I made some changes gave sincere apologies and there was quickly a new dawn but this year has felt relentless relentlessly dark I want to call bullshit on myself as there have been wonderful moments elements or aspects of joy but I have had to fight for them and fight really hard at times to find those moments when I feel content when I feel happy............. fighting to be happy that is a whole new thing for me and I’ve had to do it as I have been fighting for most of this year against myself in a way I’ve struggled as I’ve not been able to be me or at least the me that I want to be I have been physically unable to do the things that bring me joy that I enjoy to do things where I can help out and be with others when I can be alone with my 8 count where I can be active and still where I can challenge and be at ease oh I have missed it so so much and now when it is dark I feel the most alone in the darkness fighting for the joy for the dawn but knowing it is only for a fleeting moment before the darkness takes hold again I want to swear A LOT but am choosing not to as as as as as as as I don’t want to be that person that gets shouty angry I know that anger helps me fuels me will get me to a place where the dawn endures I want to use that anger to drive me on not drive me down there is enough doing that already without me adding to it myself I look around and I can see how the darkness that surrounds me is affecting other people too they are having to fight to get some dawn for themselves to get me and try to keep me in the dawn I hate that it affects them too I know why it does and conceptually I get all that but I hate it I hate the way things are I want to be me again please just let me be me again I crave the day I can be me *sigh* when I can be me and so I will sit here in the darkness and I will fight for those moments of joy and I will sit here in the darkness and I will cry for the loss of the moments I treasure and I will sit here in the darkness calling for help and welcoming those people that pull me into the light and I will sit here in the darkness as I know that the darkness will end and I will sit here in the darkness waiting for the dawn waiting for the time when the fighting will ease when I can once again be me

Into the Dark - Day 6

Day 6 (Wednesday 6th December 2017)

Six sides form the typical shape of a snowflake, due to
the arrangement of water molecules in the ice crystal lattice.
The slang term 'snowflake", meaning a person with an inflated opinion of their
own uniqueness, who is easily offended and poor at coping with challenge
or criticism, was coined as a phrase by Chuck Palahniuk in the 1996 novel Fight Club .
"Generation snowflake",  referring to  young adults of the 2010s, entered common parlance
in 2015 following an incident at Yale University

Traditionally today is the day that people celebrate St Nicholas. In the Italian port of Bari St. Nicholas' statue will be carried by sailors from the Cathedral, where the saint's bones reside, to the sea to bless the water and ensure their safety over the coming year. Being the patron saint of sailors, St Nicholas was the saint that William the Conqueror chose to pray to before setting off across the Channel to invade England in 1066. Most people think of St Nicholas (or Santa Claus or Father Christmas) as the jovial fellow who delivers gifts to good girls and boys. In the Netherlands many children will have woken to find their shoes or clogs filled with gifts and sweets. In parts of Germany, Switzerland and Austria St Nicholas is accompanied by the Knecht Ruprecht who acts as a foil to santa's generosity by giving naughty children lumps f coal, sticks and ashes. I am pleased that today I have a gift to offer to you and it is a treat.

Last year Niall Gavin pledged in his Advent Blog (on this site) not to "wallow in the hollow" - although judging by this year's post 2017 has held its challenges for him, I think he has succeeded in his aim. Niall is a respected and much-liked independent L&D and learning technologies specialist (after having had a successful career working in both the public and private sectors). Prior to helping people develop and grow, Niall spent some time as an actor, a postman and a fruit picker. He writes an enjoyable blog, A Little About a Lot and is active on social media, you can find him on Twitter (his handle is @niallgavinuk). He usually has some great insights that he shares on #LDinsight every Friday morning on Twitter. Niall lives near Worthing on the south coast of England. He is a devoted husband and father. In his spare time he enjoys walking and is also an "armchair astronomer".

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It's that time of year again, when the wonderful Kate Griffiths-Lambeth (@KateGL) invites contributions to the now-annual Advent Blog series which she curates. This year's theme of Darkness and Dawn has inspired me to dig out an unrealised blog idea from Autumn this year and to flesh it out as my humble contribution.

As Summer moves into Autumn, from my West-facing home office window, I watch the sunset creep further and further South as Earth’s axial tilt moves the UK further away from the Sun. Winter approaches. Dark days ahead. My heart sinks as the clocks go back and my annual feelings of seasonal claustrophobia starts to colour my world. Time to check the weatherproofing, gather in the harvest, and batten down the hatches. Short days, long dark nights. Cold and wet. 

I'm not a Winter person. Did you notice? You'd have thought that the Scot in me would have developed coping strategies by now. Wonder if I have any Mediterranean DNA in me at all. Maybe I have a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Although looking at the NHS 'Choices' info pages (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/), I suspect not.

The good news is that the seasons come round relentlessly. The cycle continues. Within a couple of months I'll be eagerly tracking the sunset's slow progress back North again, looking forward to the new seasonal dawn that is Springtime. Just like I do every year.

When I was in full-time, employed work, commuting to and from that there London during the Winter, I'd get up in the dark, got to work in the dark, travel home in the dark and, other than brief sojourns outdoors at lunchtime, spend my whole working week in the dark. 

Maybe it's the years of doing that, being triggered by those memories, that unsettles me. But, of course, I don't work like that any more. A combination of part-time work at my local college and occasional consultancy and accreditation work means I can now balance workplace visits, classroom sessions and working from home and I have taken control of if, when and how I include daytime travel into my work schedule (and now having a Senior Railcard and getting that off-peak fares discount helps too!)

But there are still dark days. I started to feel out of my depth recently and very concerned that I might be letting people down as a result. Imposter syndrome, basically. I wasn't sleeping, felt sick, anxious, scared that I would be found wanting. Everything that I wanted to avoid feeling, I was experiencing. Dark days indeed.

But if I have learned anything in the last three years since my heart surgery and redundancy, by focussing on my physical and mental health recovery and ongoing maintenance, it has been to not be a victim, to not feel that I have to accept uncomfortable situations and feelings as the norm and try to 'push on'. So I sat down and mapped out what was going on for me, clarified what I felt was 'wrong', what I needed to change and what my options might be to effect that change. And then I shared it - with my wife and with my counsellor - and guess what? Whatever decision I came to was going to be OK.

So I had the courageous conversations that I needed to have with the people that could help me resolve the problem and, together, we made some adjustments and it's going to be all right.

Out of the darkness came a new dawn. I'm good enough. And that's good enough for me.

If you’re fighting your own battle that no-one knows anything about, maybe it would be helpful to share how you’re really feeling. There’s no shame in talking stuff through, in asking for some help.

How are you doing?

Living the T-shirt

Day 7 (Wednesday 7th December 2016)

7 young adults graduated from High School in Iowa -

they are the world's first surviving set of septuplets and the first 

to reach maturity, the McCaugheys. Born on 19th November 1997,

the 4 boys (Kenneth Jr. Brandon, Natahn and Joel) and 3 girls

(Alexis, Natalie and Kelsey) were born at 31 weeks, 

weighing between 2 lbs 5 oz. and 3 lbs 4 oz.

Picture by Rachel Mummy, The Registrar

Today's piece is contributed by Gavan Burdan, the Managing Director of Burden Dare - an executive search and interim management business. You can reach him on Twitter via @burdendare. Gavan lives in Sevenoaks and is a passionate supporter of the local cricket team, Sevenoaks Vine CC, where he chairs the Management Committee and, when asked, still plays for the Old Vines (the Club's over 40's team). He cares about society and the people in it - he is a mentor supporting individuals down on their luck in London (but more of that to follow). Gavan commenced his career in Retail Banking (we are both Lloyds alumni - although not there at the same time). He transferred into consulting and has not looked back.

Gavan's piece is in some ways a tough read. It is for those who have a moral conscience and a realistic outlook. I find it interesting that this is one of a number of posts in the Advent Blog series this year that touches on society, our awareness of others, ethics and making the world better by understanding and being there for others. Gavan is one of those who has been prepared to put himself out, but it is clear that he gains and learns, as do those he interacts with. He is an all-round good egg (and a devoted dad to boot).

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Living the T-shirt 

I’ve lost count of the number of business courses I’ve been on: NLP’s folded arms, Myers Briggs’ types, Kübler-Ross’ denial, Johari’s double glazing, Hetrzberg’s Jelly Beans, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – I’ve got all the T shirts!

This year I learned how they work in the cold, hard, real world that you and I live in.

I joined a private members club with a conscience in central London; it has a mission to break the cycle of homelessness by means of an employment academy that provides basic skills training to help get homeless people back into sustainable employment.

The Academy team are simply awesome, to a person; they regularly win awards and depend on the club for income.

You should join up.

The people they help don’t have even bread, but they want to be JAMS; they always need mentors to “just be there” for their graduates - I’ve now had two mentees.

The first was a young guy, disowned by his family, no job, no prospects, no real home and no real hope. After graduation, which is a truly magical ceremony sprinkling stardust over the really disadvantaged, he found a part-time job. For him, this was the first step back on the ladder back to our world, and then Christmas came along – always a hard time for those on the breadline – and I never saw or heard from him again; I felt hollow, I can’t really imagine how he felt. I don’t know where he is now, but I heard he is alive.

My second mentee was born in the UK and moved to the USA when 3 months old; he’s 34 now and was deported a year ago back to the UK, it doesn’t matter why but he knows he messed up.  He arrived with a T shirt, a pair of “pants”, trainers with no laces and a spine held together by tungsten plates. He was sent to live in a rat infested dilapidated house in Croydon and immediately received an eviction notice, at the same time as Universal Credit cut his benefits. I’d never seen anyone look so disengaged and sound so desperate. So alone, in a world he neither knew nor understood.

He could only afford to eat one 69p Iceland pizza a day.

For three months he talked, he denied, he got depressed, I listened, and Johari’s window began to open; his arms unfolded, we drank fruit juice and he ate beans and fruit, he smiled, he was bargaining; it became crystal clear that he needed to sleep without fearing eviction, to wake up without wet lips and wondering why?

We got him moved into a social housing enterprise in Kentish Town, a room of his own, with a key, in a big house with others. For the first time in 5 years he slept all night. Maslow clapped.

We sat side by side at a benefits tribunal, with a judge judging and a doctor interrogating him. He was passionate, he doesn’t want benefits or pizza. He wants help. We got it.

A few weeks later he got a part time job at Old Spike Roastery (you should buy your coffee there), an agonising trip across London that torments his spine– but he wants to do it, you see he wants to be like you and me; he’s jumped and grabbed Hertzberg’s Jelly Beans, now he wants JAM. He has a big heart.

He sends me texts every day, he keeps thanking me (what have I done...all I did was be there, and say what I thought - you could do that too), he does the hard yards; he keeps checking, we keep talking, now he listens, he’s full of ideas, he has dreams – and he thinks he could probably work a full week.

He’s accepted his lot. Next year he may even be accepted. Some high!

Happy Christmas Dr Kübler-Ross.