Finding Hope - Day 17

Monday 17th December

17 years is the period of time that some species of periodic cicada spend underground
as nymphs in between mating periods. It is believed that they have evolved do this to reduce
the impact of predators both by starving them, whilst their food source is safe
underground, and then by emerging simultaneously in such huge numbers that predators are
stated before all the cicadas can be consumed. I love the sound of cicadas - it reminds me of
my youth and growing up in Hong Kong or heady days spent on Greek islands.

Today will be both good, thankful and slightly wistful - I have a meeting in Cambridge to celebrate the end of the Queen's Young Leaders programme. It has been a genuine pleasure and honour to have been involved from the start. In 2014 a search was launched to find exceptional young people to receive the first ever Queen’s Young Leaders Awards. Hundreds of applications flooded in from incredible young people all dedicated to making lasting change in their community and beyond. The Programme has now come to an end, as this was its final year; it has formed a unique community of 240 influential change-makers, who represent 53 Commonwealth countries. I have mentored a few of them and watched in awe and respect as each of these extraordinary young people have each managed to make the word a better place. Congratulations to all involved. What a wonderful legacy in every way. Thank you to Her Majesty The Queen for having the initial concept and for making it possible. 

Today's post is by Niall Gavin. Niall is a much-liked and highly respected independent L&D and learning technologies specialist (after a successful career working in both the public and private sectors). He runs a company called ARG Training. Prior to helping people develop and grow, Niall spent some time as an actor, a postman and a fruit picker. He writes an enjoyable blog, A Little About a Lot and is active on social media, you can find him on Twitter (his handle is @niallgavinuk). He usually has some great insights that he shares on #LDinsight every Friday morning on Twitter. Niall lives near Worthing on the south coast of England. He is a devoted husband and father. In his spare time he enjoys walking and is also an "armchair astronomer". As you will see from what he has written, this year's Advent Blogs' theme struck a chord with him. 

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As the theme of this year's Advent Blog series is "Heartaches, Hopes and High Fives", starting this blog is a no-brainer! I am my own best example of experiencing heartache. In April 2015, I developed Angina - actual, real, physical heart ache - the result of which was that two weeks later I had a triple cardiac bypass operation. I have previously blogged about that experience (https://niallgavinuk.blogspot.com/2015/06/heartfelt.html). 

That dealt with my previously unknown cardiac problems and my surgeon and consultant immediately pronounced me "good for another 25 years" (Not sure what that means for when I turn 85, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it). And I'm still here. Hoorah!

But right now and, I suspect, like many, I am suffering emotional heartache. In a country dramatically divided over a vote on something that was never understood by the electorate and which played to the baser, biased, self-preservatory instincts of many, we find ourselves stepping into a horribly uncertain national future outside the European Union. 

I also look at what's happening in America and am still surprised how much actual, physical revulsion I experience when I see or hear the current Presidential incumbent speak and the blatant, shameless ignorance and willful blindness to fact that his narcissistic persona plays out on the global stage.  

And don't get me started on global warming and species extinction! It's a world that I don't recognise and am embarrassed and upset to be handing over eventually to my - and your - children to work through and sort out. That hurts my heart too.

So the challenge now is to be hopeful, to find something to be hopeful about. I'm struggling with this right now and I find myself wanting in this regard, with a sense of personal impotence and, yes, even despair about these things. My hopes lie in the next generation, my own children, their contemporaries and peers, and in the work that I am doing with Apprentices at our local college. I am working hard with them all to try to encourage and develop a sense of curiosity, of challenge, to see themselves as current and future professionals and citizens, whose voice and actions will make a difference and contribute to a safe, sustainable and secure future for all. As a father and a skills development facilitator, it's my best attempt to 'make up' for the mess we're in and equip them with the resilience and skills they'll need to cope with and/or fix it, if we haven't done so together before we move on and leave them to it. They will carry my hopes with them.

Maybe that's where we could all be focussing a larger part of our attention and efforts now. I know many who are. I hope that I can too.

And finally, my High Five. As Kate Griffiths-Lambeth announces that she's handing over the curation and publication of the Advent Blog series - to the excellent Gary Cookson (@Gary_Cookson) - I can think of no-one better deserving of our thanks and best wishes for the future than Kate herself. In the midst of her own personal challenges, she has inspired many of us to contribute to the series over the years, enhanced our humble contributions and ensured the continuation of what has become a high point of the festive calendar. BIG High Five, Kate, right there!

Nice to finish what has been a difficult blog to write on a positive, grateful note. Happy Holidays.

Note from the curator

Into the Dark - Day 6

Day 6 (Wednesday 6th December 2017)

Six sides form the typical shape of a snowflake, due to
the arrangement of water molecules in the ice crystal lattice.
The slang term 'snowflake", meaning a person with an inflated opinion of their
own uniqueness, who is easily offended and poor at coping with challenge
or criticism, was coined as a phrase by Chuck Palahniuk in the 1996 novel Fight Club .
"Generation snowflake",  referring to  young adults of the 2010s, entered common parlance
in 2015 following an incident at Yale University

Traditionally today is the day that people celebrate St Nicholas. In the Italian port of Bari St. Nicholas' statue will be carried by sailors from the Cathedral, where the saint's bones reside, to the sea to bless the water and ensure their safety over the coming year. Being the patron saint of sailors, St Nicholas was the saint that William the Conqueror chose to pray to before setting off across the Channel to invade England in 1066. Most people think of St Nicholas (or Santa Claus or Father Christmas) as the jovial fellow who delivers gifts to good girls and boys. In the Netherlands many children will have woken to find their shoes or clogs filled with gifts and sweets. In parts of Germany, Switzerland and Austria St Nicholas is accompanied by the Knecht Ruprecht who acts as a foil to santa's generosity by giving naughty children lumps f coal, sticks and ashes. I am pleased that today I have a gift to offer to you and it is a treat.

Last year Niall Gavin pledged in his Advent Blog (on this site) not to "wallow in the hollow" - although judging by this year's post 2017 has held its challenges for him, I think he has succeeded in his aim. Niall is a respected and much-liked independent L&D and learning technologies specialist (after having had a successful career working in both the public and private sectors). Prior to helping people develop and grow, Niall spent some time as an actor, a postman and a fruit picker. He writes an enjoyable blog, A Little About a Lot and is active on social media, you can find him on Twitter (his handle is @niallgavinuk). He usually has some great insights that he shares on #LDinsight every Friday morning on Twitter. Niall lives near Worthing on the south coast of England. He is a devoted husband and father. In his spare time he enjoys walking and is also an "armchair astronomer".

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It's that time of year again, when the wonderful Kate Griffiths-Lambeth (@KateGL) invites contributions to the now-annual Advent Blog series which she curates. This year's theme of Darkness and Dawn has inspired me to dig out an unrealised blog idea from Autumn this year and to flesh it out as my humble contribution.

As Summer moves into Autumn, from my West-facing home office window, I watch the sunset creep further and further South as Earth’s axial tilt moves the UK further away from the Sun. Winter approaches. Dark days ahead. My heart sinks as the clocks go back and my annual feelings of seasonal claustrophobia starts to colour my world. Time to check the weatherproofing, gather in the harvest, and batten down the hatches. Short days, long dark nights. Cold and wet. 

I'm not a Winter person. Did you notice? You'd have thought that the Scot in me would have developed coping strategies by now. Wonder if I have any Mediterranean DNA in me at all. Maybe I have a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Although looking at the NHS 'Choices' info pages (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/), I suspect not.

The good news is that the seasons come round relentlessly. The cycle continues. Within a couple of months I'll be eagerly tracking the sunset's slow progress back North again, looking forward to the new seasonal dawn that is Springtime. Just like I do every year.

When I was in full-time, employed work, commuting to and from that there London during the Winter, I'd get up in the dark, got to work in the dark, travel home in the dark and, other than brief sojourns outdoors at lunchtime, spend my whole working week in the dark. 

Maybe it's the years of doing that, being triggered by those memories, that unsettles me. But, of course, I don't work like that any more. A combination of part-time work at my local college and occasional consultancy and accreditation work means I can now balance workplace visits, classroom sessions and working from home and I have taken control of if, when and how I include daytime travel into my work schedule (and now having a Senior Railcard and getting that off-peak fares discount helps too!)

But there are still dark days. I started to feel out of my depth recently and very concerned that I might be letting people down as a result. Imposter syndrome, basically. I wasn't sleeping, felt sick, anxious, scared that I would be found wanting. Everything that I wanted to avoid feeling, I was experiencing. Dark days indeed.

But if I have learned anything in the last three years since my heart surgery and redundancy, by focussing on my physical and mental health recovery and ongoing maintenance, it has been to not be a victim, to not feel that I have to accept uncomfortable situations and feelings as the norm and try to 'push on'. So I sat down and mapped out what was going on for me, clarified what I felt was 'wrong', what I needed to change and what my options might be to effect that change. And then I shared it - with my wife and with my counsellor - and guess what? Whatever decision I came to was going to be OK.

So I had the courageous conversations that I needed to have with the people that could help me resolve the problem and, together, we made some adjustments and it's going to be all right.

Out of the darkness came a new dawn. I'm good enough. And that's good enough for me.

If you’re fighting your own battle that no-one knows anything about, maybe it would be helpful to share how you’re really feeling. There’s no shame in talking stuff through, in asking for some help.

How are you doing?

The Hollow Man

Day 23 (Friday 23rd December 2016)

23 shipwrecks, dating from from 1,000BC to 19^th centuryAD, heretofore 

undiscovered, were found and explored off the Fourni archipelago in Greece 

in June/July 2016. The team were co-directed by a University of Southampton 

archaeologist and a member of the Hellenistic Ministry of Culture and Sports. 

Many of the ships were carrying amphoras and the find illustrates importance

of easter Mediterranean trade networks passing by Fourni across the ages,

connecting the Black Sea and Aegean to Cyprus, the Levant and Egypt. 

Some wrecks carried goods from North Africa, Spain and Italy.

We have reached the end of the week leading up to Christmas and I am sure you will agree with me that the blogs so far have been stunning, today's is no exception. It is written by Niall Gavin. Niall lives near Worthing on the south coast of England. You can find him on Twitter (his handle is @niallgavinuk). Niall writes a charming blog: A Little About a Lot. He has suffered considerable ill health over the past couple of years (he had a coronary bypass last year) and hence it was so good to see him in more robust health when we met at a CIPD event a little earlier this year. Niall has had an amazingly varied career; he has been an actor, a fruit-picker, and a postman, to mention but a few of his roles, but then he found his metier: helping others to learn and grow. I have learned much from talking with him and reading his blog.

After many years of public and corporate work, culminating in being responsible for FirstGroup's Learning Technology team, where he developed, facilitated and delivered Technology assisted learning solutions, Niall has branched out on his own as an Independent L&D and Learning Technology Consultant. Neil is a very decent, down to earth fellow. He is a loving husband and father and a delightful friend. he is very popular with people on social media, partially due to his willingness to support others and collaborate - witness his involvement in #LDinsight every Friday morning on Twitter. When enjoying some peaceful time for himself, Niall is a keen walker and also an "armchair astronomer". I'm sure you will enjoy his post below. 

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The Hollow Man

When I first thought about contributing again to Kate's wonderful annual Advent Blog series, this year's theme, "Heights, Hearts & Hollows", initially had me ruminating on last year's cardiac bypass, my recovery, redundancy and further reflections thereon. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I had kind of done that to death, in a series of blogs, tweets and Facebook posts. I'm on a continuing journey here, one that I'm being supported on by friends, family, my personal and professional networks and, critically, paid for - and revelatory - professional counselling. So that's 'Heights and Hearts' taken care of. I'm not going to revisit that stuff here.

Instead, I've let the Universe slowly draw me towards the "Hollows" element of the theme. It's niggled away at me for a few days. I don't really know why. Maybe it's the onomatopoeic quality of the word. It conjours up dark, empty, echoing places for me, and not necessarily in a bad way either. There's a weird attraction in it. Something to explore.

And a particular phrase kept popping into my brain; an evocative, elusive, seductive whisper - 'The Hollow Man'.

I've been sitting with him for a few days now, not knowing who or what he is, or why he should be so insistent on being seen. I've conjoured images of scarecrows, robots (Westworld?), the Wizard of Oz (Scarecrow again, "If I only had a brain", 

and Tin Man, "If I only had a heart"). I remembered the 2000 film with Kevin Bacon, an alternative and darker modern take on HG Wells's "The Invisible Man".

Now, these are all fairly empty manifestations of The Hollow Man, suggesting something missing, something not whole. Something sad. So why was (am) I so taken with the name? I even Googled 'The Hollow Man' to see if I was digging up some long-forgotten or buried memory that would explain his presence. I wasn't.

But then, up popped TS Eliot's poem, "The Hollow Men".

I'm not good with poetry. Never really got it. Still don't, to be honest. Funny that, for someone who claims to love words and takes pride in good use of vocabulary, grammar, spelling, tries to write well and reads a lot. I kinda get Burns and Shakespeare, but most other poetry tends to leave me cold.

So imagine my surprise when, in the first few lines of Eliot's poem, I was presented with a vivid scarecrow image again, in the voice of one of his Hollow Men...

We are the hollow menWe are the stuffed men Leaning together Headpiece filled with straw. Alas! Our dried voices, when We whisper together Are quiet and meaningless As wind in dry grass Or rats' feet over broken glassIn our dry cellar

There's more and, to be honest, it's not the most uplifting read. I had to search further to get some academic insights into the background and some suggestions as to the themes and meanings of the work. But slowly I've started to understand why "the Hollow Man" has been clamouring for my attention - a) there's a lot of them about and b) I don't want to be one myself!

Men - OK, people, but for the most part, it is men - with a hole where their heart should be. With little or no compassion, no respect or feeling for 'other', no capacity to empathise, afraid to see or hear a different colour or opinion. Bigots, trolls, abusers, cowards - psychopaths, even. And then there's the passive, purposeless, complacent people, happy to go with the flow, devoid of ambition or desire to learn and experience new things. Heads full of straw. Stuck. Sad.

We've seen - and, in some cases, been - both types of Hollow Man this year. And next year we will have to live with the consequences. My challenge for 2017 is to not 'wallow in the hollow', but to be braver, to stand up and speak up, to challenge divisive, lazy, anti-intellectual intolerance, both professionally and personally. I posted a tweet in a recent #LDInsight tweetchat - "On this journey, have realised I could have been braver, am still carrying anger, am impatient & now I can do anything".

I shall try.

Speak-out by Marcel Witte