Managers Past and Present

Day 31 (New Year's Eve - Thursday 31st December 2015)

31 Planes of existence are defined in Buddhist teaching

Welcome to the last day of 2015 - I hope that on reflection it has been a good year for you and yours. I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a wonderful 2016 - over the course of it may you find yourself pleasantly surprised on a regular basis and achieve more than you desire. 

It gives me great pleasure today to introduce you to Benjamin Fletcher. Although Benjamin and I have never met, he responded to my request for posts in November, we now follow each other on Twitter (his handle is @benjaminclusion); I am delighted to have him here.  He is a champion for Diversity and Inclusion and blogs on these and other topics on LinkedIn. He works as an HR Business Partner at QBE Insurance based in London. I love his post, which shares his learning from various managers with whom he has worked over the years.

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Some of the best lessons we learn come from observing good and great managers and leaders. Some we learn from observing what not to do and how not to treat people. Others we learn from people who we might not like or agree with, but recognise certain strengths in. 

I have been managed by some pretty different characters; some of whom I’ve felt a stronger natural affinity with than others. All, though, have given me something valuable for which I am grateful and helped me take my career a step further.

It can be easy and it is often tempting to list all the things you will never do as a manager yourself, but as a new year approaches it’s a timely opportunity for reflection and self-reflection. 

In this spirit, here I want to remember the positive examples – the comet trails – that four influential managers have left with me and share these learnings with the blogosphere. 

To save blushes I have renamed each manager after pets I have loved both as a child and an adult.

Big pictures are made complete by details. We all have attributes that we are proud about and consider our strong suits, as well as known development areas and blind spots. I’m personally quite aware that detail overload does nothing for my attention span or temperament. Scamp, conversely, is a detail whiz. If you get your kicks from being creative and helping other people see a picture not yet complete, incredibly detail focused people can be frustrating, even irritating at times. Scamp taught me to appreciate that small things usually add up to something big, like a George Suerat painting. It’s a hard thing to un-see.

The People's Monarch an artwork by Helen Marshall
consists of 5,500 individual photos submitted by BBC listeners & viewers

We’re in it together. Ambition means different things to different people. Sophie showed me that ambition is not a dirty word. Through Sophie I also learnt to appreciate what it’s like to feel the security of knowing my manager will not let me fail because my success is their success. With different strengths we won together. Demonstrating that sheer ambition and inclusive leadership work perfectly in tandem, it is a lesson I aspire to replicate.

Relationships are 50/50. So much of success at work is built upon the relationships we foster with those with whom we collaborate day-to-day. Sometimes even when we really like and respect a manager, like Marble, we forget that we’re in a relationship too… and that we’re one half of that relationship. You’ve got to move, share and ask. Managers are not mind readers.

Being human is important. More Rothko than Seurat, Bonnie showed me that managers don’t have to put up a professional façade to be successful. Bonnie gives herself, others – and HR – permission to show personality and emotion. Bonnie schooled me on how being authentic helps you succeed at work.

P.S. for anyone who is curious… Scamp was a hamster who lived to the ripe old age of 5, Sophie was a white Persian butterfly catching cat, Bonnie was an energetic yet wonderfully gentle Collie-Springer Spaniel, and Marble is a very affectionate tortoiseshell cat who recently beat cancer.

Turn Down the Light

Day 26 (Boxing Day - Saturday 26th December 2015)

26 bones in a typical adult human foot and ankle. We seldom appreciate the mechanical
complexity and strength of our feet. The ankle acts as a shock absorber -
a foot can sustain enormous pressure (several tonnes over the course of a 1-mile run).
One quarter of the bones in the human body are in our feet along with 33 joints
and over 100 muscles, tendons and ligaments.

Due to the quality and number of posts submitted this year, not all of which could appear prior to the 25th December, the series will continue until mid-January 2016 as a Post-Advent selection. 

I hope you are enjoying the festive break. Today is a good day for gentle relaxation and contemplation and I am sure that reading today's blog will hit the spot... It is a candid post by Gary Cookson. Gary is an experienced HR and Organisational Development (OD) specialist based in Cheshire to the north of England. He has touched many people's lives for the better. He has held various corporate roles in HR and OD and has managed to fit in some independent work alongside these over the past few years. He is changing his full-time role shortly (more of that below). Gary is a keen sportsman (including participating in triathlons, dancing and amateur wrestling) and a devoted dad. Gary is a natural networker and active on social media - his Twitter handle is @Gary_Cookson. He is also a prolific blogger - you can read his posts on his blog, HR Triathlete or catch many of them on LinkedIn.

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I've thought long and hard about what to write in response to the advent theme of comet tails and coal dust. I wanted to make this post personal, but also relevant to those reading it. I've been inspired by reading some of the earlier posts and these have given me the idea to talk about my own experiences in job interviews this year.

Prior to this year I hadn't had one job interview for about five or six years. This year I've had five or six in the one year. And I've learnt as I've gone along, as one should, and the story has a happy ending because I've been offered and accepted another role in a really good organisation which I will start in February.

Lots has happened to me this year and the role which I started the year in disappeared, but I was given the chance to apply for other roles in the organisation. At the same time I became aware of a number of other similar roles coming available at other organisations.  And I applied for them all.

My approach was to try my hardest, and to prepare thoroughly for the processes. I figured there were one or two roles, and one or two companies, I really wanted to work for.

I rehearsed answers to likely interview questions.  I read dozens of books.  I practiced my presentations tens of times.  I looked up my interviewers on LinkedIn and Twitter, and imagined what kind of person they wanted me to be. I even tried adopting some behaviours I wouldn't normally in order to totally blow away the interviewers.

And in all applications this was enough to get me comfortably through the first stage, and sometimes the second stage, of the process. In the majority of the processes I got down to the final two.

Down to the last 2

I imagined at these points that my interviewers were so dazzled by my stardust (comet tail) that I'd be bound to be offered the job. I really did try ultra hard to impress people and brought what I thought was my A-game to each interview.

It didn't work. And in hindsight, I don't think I was being myself, the real me, in each of the interviews.  Ultimately, the interviewers saw something, saw someone, that wasn't 100% real. And they didn't give me the job.

And then last month I saw a job advertised that looked good, at an organisation that looked good. But I'd done some thinking of my own and had decided that I might not go for it, that I might tread a different path and look at self employment. I'd blaze my comet tail solo.

But something made me apply, but only half heartedly. I didn't put even half the effort in to this application that I did for the jobs earlier in the year. I wasn't bothered if I didn't get an interview.

I got an interview.

I didn't prepare much for it. I thought I'll just play it by ear and see what happens, and if I don't get through to the second stage then I'm not too bothered.

I got through to the second stage.

I had a task to prepare for, and decided not to prepare for it, but to simply turn up and be myself, and think on my feet and see what happened. I didn't think I'd blow them away with this strategy, and I hadn't stalked my interviewers on social media beforehand. I was me in that interview, relaxed, argumentative, sarcastic at times and not at all trying to get through to the third stage, just trying to approach it how I would in a real work situation. Showing my coal dust.

And I got through to the third stage. And did exactly the same, not expecting the job to be offered and feeling OK about that. I wasn't desperate and wasn't out to impress anyone or make them think I was someone I'm not.

And the job was offered to me.

I was blown away, but both pleased and flattered. And after working my notice, I'll be starting with the new organisation in February. I'm excited and I'll talk more about it on my own blog I'm sure.

But this advent series has made me reflect on who I've been this year.

I've tried to shine. I've tried to blaze. I've tried to outperform everyone, including myself.  And that hasn't worked. I've tried too hard, and got nowhere better than second place.

My comet tail wasn't as brilliant or as illuminatingly attractive as I thought it was. In the early half of the year I experienced more failure because of this approach than I ever thought possible.

And maybe failure is what shapes people. Maybe rolling oneself in coal dust and taking the shine off oneself is what is needed. Maybe one can shine brighter by turning down the light.

Here's to 2016 and being more natural.

It's in your hands

Hooked on a Feeling !! - Day 58

Day 58 (27th January 2015)

58th hexagram in the I Ching, known as Tui or 兌 (duì),
referred to as the youngest daughter, is a character in the ancient Chinese divination
practice, which uses 6 apparently random numbers turned into a hexagram, with a meaning
ascertained via the I Ching texts. Tui is said to represent "Joy", with both the inside and
outside world being in harmony. The hexagram is said to depict two lakes and is interpreted as
a demonstration of inner strength, cheerfulness, an ability to be flexible and to show courtesy to others.
A sole lake evaporates easily, but when two are linked they support each other, Tui represents 
this, demonstrating the benefit of discussion, sharing knowledge & practices with like-minded fellows

Steve Browne is the author of today's post - Steve is based in the U.S.A. in West Chester, Ohio, where he works as the Executive Director for Human Resources for LaRosa's, Inc. - a regional pizzeria chain. He is a strategic HR professional, with a passion for employee relations, networking and organisational culture. He, himself, is excellent at networking and very well connected within the global HR community. Steve is a knowledgeable dynamo - his passion, drive and enthusiasm acts as a glue for many of us. He loves interacting on social media, his Twitter handle is @sbrownehr and he writes an excellent blog, Everyday People. Steve is a vibrant, warm and welcoming individual. When not doing things for HR, he is supporting his community; he is a devoted husband and father and a lover of rock music. He brings a smile to my face whenever we interact.

This is the last in the Advent Blog series - it's always good to end on a high. I would like to thank you all for giving me a chance to get to know you (especially the authors) and to interact with you (anyone who has read/commented on the posts). I had no idea when I told Alison that I would host on her behalf that it would be such a wonderful and rewarding experience. You are brilliant.

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I am wired a bit differently than most folks I know.  I don’t mean in some creepy way, but, you see I’m an extrovert who happens to work in Human Resources.



Now, you’d think that HR would be a field that would be a magnet for extroverts, but that really isn’t the case.  This “curse” has been with me all of my life.  Whenever I’ve taken an assessment, which is somewhat “mandatory” in HR, I peg the top of the scale of extroversion.  I’m nowhere close to the median, or the “safe” range for others.

I really don’t see being extroverted as a curse, and I only say that because it’s how others perceive it.  When you’re in social situations with extroverts, there’s an expectation that they are going to bring energy, have colorful stories and generate life to whatever is going on.  That may happen, but it’s also an odd expectation for us to live with.

Introvert and Extrovert speakers at and after a conference

I’d like you to look at extroversion in a different light.  I see that how I’m wired is a way to connect with people because one of the facts about how I approach each day is that I HAVE to be around people.  I rarely am alone on purpose. It’s an interesting dichotomy with my amazing wife because we are almost complete opposites.  If we go to a shopping mall, she would focus on the task at hand of purchasing some items, and I would be wandering throughout the mall just to see who I could meet.

What I’ve come to observe is that since people are somewhere along the introversion/extroversion scale that it’s better to meet people where they are instead of expecting them to be more like you.  This runs contrary to how most social interactions occur.  People tend to be self-focused instead of others-focused.  What if you changed your focus?  How do you think interactions with other people would go if you moved along the scale to cozy up with them at their point along the spectrum?

I would think that your interactions would be smoother, have more context and meaning and would also lead to other successful interactions !!

A successful interaction

We don’t want to do this because people are a giant ball of emotions.  We’re not really sure what emotions they will be bringing to an encounter, so we tend to keep an arm’s distance and never really take our time together past a very thin surface conversation.

My challenge for you is to get messy !!  We have emotions for a reason.  Do you really want to be connected to a myriad of automatons who give you the “I’m fine, and you?” response every time?  

I find that distance response to be more draining than coming across someone full of any kind of emotion.

This week, take a new approach and get hooked on feelings.  It will mean that you have to open up and share more intimately, but it’s really what people want.  We want meaningful relationships in life, at work and in our profession. Come clean and know that when you avoid the emotions that everyone brings to the situation, those emotions will show up somewhere else and it won’t be good.

Also, remember an answer to the obligatory “Hi, how are you?” doesn’t have to be neutral or assumed negative.  When I see someone and they ask me how I am I respond, “I’m Great !!” (and it’s true.)  I know that it’s the extrovert in me, but it’s also a choice. Being positive is a choice that makes each day, and every moment in it, spectacular !!

I hope that you know that there are people who really want to get to know you – on purpose.  Be on the lookout because I will find you to see if you’re great !!

Deborah Kerr (Marni Nixon singing) "Getting To Know You"

from "The King and I", 1956 film adaption of musical by Rodgers and Hammerstein

Blondie performing "One Way Or Another", 1979

(But, Steve is NOT a stalker)