LOL - it's New Year - Day 38

Day 38 (Sunday 7th January 2018)

38 years ago on 7th January 1980, Indira Gandhi was voted back into power in India,
with a landslide majority. Despite her surname she is not related to Mahatma Gandhi,
but is part of the Nehru political dynasty. She was Prime Minister from January 1966 to
March 1977 and then again from the start of 1980 until her assassination in October 1984.
She was one of the earliest female heads of government - only preceded by Sirimavo Bandaranaike
the Prime Minister of Ceylon, who was elected in July 1960.

Today Is it me or are the days speeding up? It is Sunday already. Our decorations are down and the house feels strangely empty.

Today's post is by Angela Mortimer, the Founder and Director of one of Europe’s most successful recruitment consultancies, Angela Mortimer Plc.  Established in 1976, the company currently employs people in offices across London, New York, Brussels, Amsterdam, Paris, Geneva, Lyon, Sao Paulo, Shanghai and Hong Kong and provides people for clients around the globe.  Angela Mortimer has developed the careers of more than 200,000 individuals, mainly female, since its foundation. Angela believes passionately in the need to encourage everyone especially women, to achieve their maximum potential.  She seeks to inspire  confidence and positive thinking by sharing insights developed over 40 years through training, public speaking and her blogs. You can follow her on Twitter (her handle is @AngelaMortime3 - but she is less active than many due to time constraints).

For a number of years Angela was a visiting lecturer on the Mountbatten programme in New York and supported graduates in finding placements after their Internship.  Angela has made numerous appearances on television, radio and in the press, including documentaries about The British at Work on the BBC, Women in the Workplace, which was aired on television and radio, and on on the unique nature of the company she owns. Angela is a patron and founder sponsor of the National Youth Ballet with an involvement motivated by the desire to foster the themes of women, youth and excellence, and, for several years, Angela worked with the International Centre for Prison Studies counselling prison governors.

For over 12 years Angela served on both the Confederation of British Industries SME Council and The London Council of the Confederation of British Industry.  In 2009 Angela was the winner of The First Women Awards for Business Services in association with Lloyds TSB Corporate Markets and supported by the CBI, and, in July 2003, Angela won the European Women of Achievement Awards in the Entrepreneur section. More recently, Angela was recognised by the Staffing Industry Analysts as one of the top 50 in their Global Power 100 – Women in Staffing list.

Her post is NOT to do with business but it is a lovely read.

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I’m a self-admitted crybaby.  When I was pregnant I would regularly dissolve into tears at the sound of the little girl asking her mother as she washed the dishes ‘what makes your hands so soft?”  It’s embarrassing but the truth and it happened more than once with the same Fairy Liquid advert and was witnessed by astonished friends so couldn’t be denied.

Don't get me wrong – I can be strong when needed as is proven frequently in the office and on the golf course.  I can manage threats, disappointment and fear with a measure of equanimity but I have this low threshold of crying when touched by nostalgia and when touched by the kindness of another toward me.

An example comes to mind of an extraordinary kindness shown me some thirty odd years ago when my time was stretched thinly between home, office and two children under the age of 5. 

At that period in my life I was busy practicing being Superwoman.  I could manage everything in 24 hours that an organized energetic modern woman had expected of her – make lots of money, be trim and sleek after a 6 a.m. swim in the open air pool and spring effortlessly into my spiky shoes and designer suit ready to slay clients with my expertise and easy charm.   I disappointed no one – that was simply not my game.

I left my housekeeper a note that day – we had been entertaining and had run out of standard groceries and all the stuff that a family gets through at the end of a big week end – asking for a lot of basic shopping to be done.  My Housekeeper was more a wife to me.  She was Portuguese, long married and did not have a bank account of her own when she joined me.  In her family it was not considered appropriate or respectful for a wife to be this independent.  I persuaded her to open one so I could provide her with a float for my shopping.  This was a good system though her husband remained unaware of it for some time – easier that way.

At the end of my twelve-hour day I returned to the house to find a phenomenal number of soft white bread rolls were in the kitchen.  There must have been a hundred of them.  What on earth are they doing here I wanted to know.  ‘Well you asked me to get them but I’m sorry, there aren’t 100 rolls, there are only 80 because though I drove all over town I could not find any more – the bakers and supermarkets were out of stock – I cleaned them out’!   And then she burst into tears because she had failed me.  I was still mystified as to how she can have thought I wanted them till she showed me my note.  There in black and white was my writing and clearly listed was ‘loo rolls’ looking like ‘100 rolls’.

Well that was when I started to laugh till I cried.  I laughed at my clumsy failure to communicate with my lovely helper who was challenged in her second language to understand my written slang and I cried because she was so upset to have failed me with the shortfall.    And then we both laughed and cried together and that was a very good cry indeed and a happy one.  We stayed together for 25 years as a very good team and never forgot that day – a classic in miscommunication.

And that made me reflect on the astonishing range of opportunity we have to fail to communicate effectively with others unless we are meticulous in our spoken and written words.  A serious thought and a useful one to hold in mind as we enter this special time in the year when overloaded with nostalgia in every advertisement we see for a perfectly unattainable perfect Christmas and New Year, emotions might more readily be tipped from positive to sad. 

And now - if you want a really good happy cry, go see Paddington Two but take a box of tissues – no spoiler – you might need them, I did!  Happy New Year.

Returning with a spring in my step

I have really missed writing this blog, but there are times in all of our lives when other priorities need to take precedence over our own pleasures – if we care about other people then we cannot put ourselves first. Since I last touched a keyboard my family has suffered death, illness and deep disappointment and my job has been the most demanding I can remember in what is a long career. 

I write this because I enjoy doing so; it is very satisfying finding out relevant information and verifying my facts. However, it is a personal indulgence and not a necessity. I have missed putting words on a page, and now that things feel a little calmer, I’m back.

Louis Warner Sculpture - Returning

It feels appropriate to base this piece on communication (as, to me, that is what a blog is all about – even if I am only talking to myself). 

Photograph by Saratola Ban

Today is International Dawn Chorus Day – a chance to listen and recognise one of Nature’s daily wonders. I am fortunate in that when I am in Somerset, with my mother and sister, I listen to the Dawn Chorus most days – the power and quantity of birdsong is much greater than you will hear during most of the rest of the day. (Today the Chorus in London was quite restrained, but there was excellent BBC coverage, with live coverage from India to Ireland, from midnight until nearly 6.00am earlier today.) 

wren singing on hawthorn

There are many theories as to why birds sing first thing in the morning – some say that it is due to “temperature inversion” – when a layer of cold air is trapped close to the ground by a warmer layer above.  The boundary between these layers acts like an acoustic mirror reflecting the sound, so that it travels further. In addition, dawn is a good time to communicate (as the light is less good for foraging, and a bird might as well do something useful once it is awake), perhaps most importantly, singing at daybreak enables a bird to signify to rivals and prospective mates that it has survived the night, is in robust health and able to put on a good show. More promiscuous birds, such as blue tits and reedbuntings, may opt for a bit on the side courtesy of a Dawn Chorus introduction (so the Chorus is an avian aural form of Tinder), while others, who are fiercely territorial (such as blackbirds and robins), use it as an opportunity to intimidate their adversaries. I suspect the message for many of us from the Dawn Chorus is the importance to take best advantage of the opportunities available and select times to communicate that will ensure maximum impact and optimum outcomes.

I have just finished reading The Sellout by Paul Beatty – my CEO gave it to me as gift, as it had made him laugh. It is an excellent read – a witty, no-holds-barred, satirical take on attitudes towards racism and society in the USA. There is one statement, made by the main character near the end of the book that has stuck with me:

“I think about my own silence. Silence can be either protest or consent, but most times it’s fear. I guess that’s why I’m so quiet and such a good whisperer, nigger and otherwise. It’s because I’m always afraid. Afraid of what I might say. What promises and threats I might make and have to keep.”

Given the prevalence of elections (France is voting for its new president today – either Macron or Le Pen will be a clear break with tradition, my guess is that Macron will win; the UK has an election in early June; and Germany goes to the polls in September), we should all be mindful of the promises politicians make and the likelihood of their being able to honour what they say. Similarly, we, the people, need to make our thoughts and hopes known. We must appreciate that the inclination towards remaining silent and not making a stand for what is important can have severe repercussions. Not turning out to vote is as damaging as voting for something because you don't believe that what you are voting for will actually happen, just to "make a statement". We need integrity and determination to see us through the challenging times ahead.

Earlier this year there was an atrocious terror attack on members of the public and a policeman on Westminster Bridge near the UK Houses of Parliament on 22^nd March. I am a governor of Guy’s and St. Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust and we discussed the medical response to the attack at our recent Board and Governors’ meetings. Everyone was immensely proud of the way in which medical and other staff of the Trust responded - rushing to provide support (St. Thomas’ Hospital is located at the opposite end of the bridge to where the attack occurred). However, we were bemused by the decision to take casualties to various hospitals a significant distance from the disaster site when St Thomas’ was so near and had appropriate facilities – the decision as to where casualties should be taken was part of the wider London terrorist attack plans that had not previously been communicated to the Trust.  These plans, that ensure that there is a pre-determined response in the event of a terror attack or other incident, were devised by the Department of Health and NHS England – I appreciate the need for secrecy and tight security measures, but perhaps further consideration regarding the proximity of leading hospitals and medical facilities and the sharing plans with relevant parties would make things easier if there is ever such an awful event in the future.

Duke of Cambridge visiting St Thomas' Hospital in London
to thank staff who helped during the terror attack
Press Association photo

After the horrors of the terror attack in March, London felt different. On the 23^rd I went in to work as usual but the tube was surprisingly quiet at rush hour – many people chose to travel by bus, rather than using the tube, or stayed at home, perhaps after seeing the numbers of police guarding the entrances to Underground stations. The blog London Wakes, written in response to the occurrence by my friend David D’Souza, resonated with me. In this post he urges people to “build a bridge”. He is right, like Beatty’s comment in The Sellout, silence is often the product of fear and if we want a safer environment we need to speak, discuss and understand. Elaine Dang was a victim of the terrorist attack in Nairobi in 2013 when al-Shabaab opened fire in a shopping mall killing 67 people. After the event she remained traumatised long after her physical wounds had healed. She came to appreciate that the only way to dispel her fears was by enhancing her knowledge and awareness, in her case of Muslims and Islam. Since 2013 she has gone out of her way to learn and make connections and now she appreciates that the heinous actions of a few do not justify labelling a whole group as dangerous and she is no longer afraid; we all need to engage and gain understanding, especially with and from groups and people we don’t know well, if we are going to make the world a better, safer place. Hiding from the unknown, sharing in “group-think” (by only communicating with like-minded people who support our own world-view) exacerbates distrust and misunderstanding.

Photograph by Daisuke Takakura

In a much smaller way, after the Westminster terrorism event, I made this discovery for myself. That week I was trapped working late on the Friday and only escaped the office after most people had been out for hours, celebrating the end of a traumatic week. There was a very noisy crowd at the tube station when I got there – of particular note were a group of men, who had clearly been having a good time and were raucous. I kept my head down and tried to avoid catching their eyes (how very British of me). However, they got into the same tube compartment as I did and their loud banter continued. One of them deliberately sat down beside me and became insistent on starting a conversation. Not wishing to seem rude or wanting to attract further attention from the wider group, I responded, cautiously at first. It transpired that they worked for a subsidiary of a large German bank and that they had indeed been socialising for hours. A senior colleague was over from the States. He had been very kind, when one of them had been working in America, and they wished to return the hospitality. He had taken their colleague to a Blues bar so, having shown him a traditional British pub, they were heading off to see The Stranglers in concert at The Academy in Brixton.

Stranglers playing at Brixton Academy March 2017

I asked what the man I was talking to usually did in his spare time and he told me he wrote. It transpired that he used to work night shifts, which impacted on his ability to spend time with his daughter. He used to read her a story before he left for work but after a while she said she wanted him to tell her something different. He asked her what she wanted to hear about and she gave him some ideas and named some familiar objects – this was the start of his making up stories for her. Each night he would tell her the tale he had crafted during the previous night’s security shift, before being given the subject matters for the story for the following day. He has five year’s worth of tales crafted with love and his story made me see him as a sensitive and caring man, rather than the intimidating person he had seemed to me when he got on the train and forced me to speak. I walked home with a grin and a spring in my step. The world is a surprisingly good place – and made even better when we communicate.

How to lose hearts

Day 26 (Monday 26th December 2016)



26% of the Far North, the most pristine area of Australia's Great Barrier Reef 
has died. During 2016 the Reef suffered the worst bleaching on record. 
Scientists claim that the damage is caused by rising sea temperatures (in February, 
March and April, sea surface temperatures across the Great Barrier Reef were the 
hottest on record, at least 1C higher than the monthly average).

It is Boxing Day - a traditional time to sit, read something and reflect. I am sure that David D'Souza's post below will make you do just that - it should provoke thoughts, regardless of whether you manage people, work for others or just know people who fit into either camp. His piece has made me stop and contemplate how I work, what I do with and how I lead others and also to consider the approach of the wider business within which I sit. Are you aware of how you make others feel?

David is the Head of London and Head of Engagement (Branches) at the CIPD (Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development - the UK-based professional body for HR and people development with over 140,000 members). Previously he has worked within HR (with a strong bias towards learning and development) and has run his own consultancy. I am fortunate to have had him in my team and I can vouch for the fact that he is as values-driven, and family-orientated, as he comes across on social media. He is also a genuine polymath who can turn his hand and intellect to most things. He is a natural communicator and connector - you can meet and tweet with him on Twitter (his handle is @dds180) or else read his thought-provoking blog - 101 Half Connected Things or else his posts on LinkedIn.

David is a regular speaker at conferences and events, but just as impactful in a quiet one-to-one chat. He is a genuine, super-bright and awesome person. I am honoured to call him my friend.

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A Ten Step Guide to Losing Hearts in The Workplace

Rather than a deep confessional I wanted to give people something constructive for the New Year. A workplace guide to losing hearts and leaving people hollow. A 'How to' guide for anyone wishing to spend a year removing trust and destroying group dynamics, should you be so inclined. I've had a reasonably long career and I've worked with some experts in this field over the years. Their lessons stuck with me and my commitment to people being entitled to the opposite is one of the reasons I joined the CIPD.

Of course, if you wanted to avoid doing the things on this list you might find that, at the very least, you don't do bad things. People often say that 'not bad' isn't the same as 'good'. I'd agree, but sometimes 'not bad' is good enough. 

How to lose hearts:

1. Heroically take upon yourself the burden of the critical decisions and then get them wrong. Work with assumptions as if they are facts and LinkedIn quotes as if they are strategy.                                                                     
   
2. Lead so well no other voices can be heard or recognised. Become the only voice that matters in the organisation. Go big.                                            
   
3. Create a distance so great between your espoused values and your deeds that people point to it from afar as though it is a wonder of nature. They whisper in hushed tones in the corridors, they whisper of that gap. They marvel at your lack of realisation.                                                             
   
4. Involve people at the point their involvement is largely redundant and then rail at them for a lack of 'engagement'. Dictate the rules of engagement and then object to being called a dictator. Use an annual survey to indicate commitment to everyday involvement.                                                      
   
5. Keep your friends close and your budgets closer. Invest only in people and things that are conspicuous in their proximity to your world view. Create a comfort blanket of vanity projects and acolytes.                                         
   
6. Keep talking about not being able to be half on the bus - until only the people on the bus are the ones that aren't smart enough to challenge the destination and timetable (even though it makes no sense)                         
     
7. Pay no attention to the physical environment. People are lucky to have a building at all and if they were as good as you they'd get a nicer space to work in - with windows and a supportive chair and everything.                    
   
8. Communicate what you want to communicate or what people want to hear. Leave the trickier task of telling them what they need to hear for another day 
   
9. Make unfair reward your target. From exec pay down to saying "thank you", be selective, preferential and shun transparency. Tell yourself that if someone wouldn't object then you aren't making the tough decisions          
   
10. And finally, remember why you hired all those bright people: to make you feel good about taming their intellect and having them all agree with you.    
    

Even if it means the bright sparks within them no longer shine.

Managers Past and Present

Day 31 (New Year's Eve - Thursday 31st December 2015)

31 Planes of existence are defined in Buddhist teaching

Welcome to the last day of 2015 - I hope that on reflection it has been a good year for you and yours. I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a wonderful 2016 - over the course of it may you find yourself pleasantly surprised on a regular basis and achieve more than you desire. 

It gives me great pleasure today to introduce you to Benjamin Fletcher. Although Benjamin and I have never met, he responded to my request for posts in November, we now follow each other on Twitter (his handle is @benjaminclusion); I am delighted to have him here.  He is a champion for Diversity and Inclusion and blogs on these and other topics on LinkedIn. He works as an HR Business Partner at QBE Insurance based in London. I love his post, which shares his learning from various managers with whom he has worked over the years.

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Some of the best lessons we learn come from observing good and great managers and leaders. Some we learn from observing what not to do and how not to treat people. Others we learn from people who we might not like or agree with, but recognise certain strengths in. 

I have been managed by some pretty different characters; some of whom I’ve felt a stronger natural affinity with than others. All, though, have given me something valuable for which I am grateful and helped me take my career a step further.

It can be easy and it is often tempting to list all the things you will never do as a manager yourself, but as a new year approaches it’s a timely opportunity for reflection and self-reflection. 

In this spirit, here I want to remember the positive examples – the comet trails – that four influential managers have left with me and share these learnings with the blogosphere. 

To save blushes I have renamed each manager after pets I have loved both as a child and an adult.

Big pictures are made complete by details. We all have attributes that we are proud about and consider our strong suits, as well as known development areas and blind spots. I’m personally quite aware that detail overload does nothing for my attention span or temperament. Scamp, conversely, is a detail whiz. If you get your kicks from being creative and helping other people see a picture not yet complete, incredibly detail focused people can be frustrating, even irritating at times. Scamp taught me to appreciate that small things usually add up to something big, like a George Suerat painting. It’s a hard thing to un-see.

The People's Monarch an artwork by Helen Marshall
consists of 5,500 individual photos submitted by BBC listeners & viewers

We’re in it together. Ambition means different things to different people. Sophie showed me that ambition is not a dirty word. Through Sophie I also learnt to appreciate what it’s like to feel the security of knowing my manager will not let me fail because my success is their success. With different strengths we won together. Demonstrating that sheer ambition and inclusive leadership work perfectly in tandem, it is a lesson I aspire to replicate.

Relationships are 50/50. So much of success at work is built upon the relationships we foster with those with whom we collaborate day-to-day. Sometimes even when we really like and respect a manager, like Marble, we forget that we’re in a relationship too… and that we’re one half of that relationship. You’ve got to move, share and ask. Managers are not mind readers.

Being human is important. More Rothko than Seurat, Bonnie showed me that managers don’t have to put up a professional façade to be successful. Bonnie gives herself, others – and HR – permission to show personality and emotion. Bonnie schooled me on how being authentic helps you succeed at work.

P.S. for anyone who is curious… Scamp was a hamster who lived to the ripe old age of 5, Sophie was a white Persian butterfly catching cat, Bonnie was an energetic yet wonderfully gentle Collie-Springer Spaniel, and Marble is a very affectionate tortoiseshell cat who recently beat cancer.

The Path to Here - Day 16

Day 16

16 - The age at which the fairy tale princess,
Sleeping Beauty, pricked her finger & fell asleep.
Sleeping Beauty, sculpture by Ludwig Sussmann Hellborn, 1878
Berlin National Gallery
16 is, of course, the number of hours in a day if you follow
an eight hour sleep schedule.

Colin Ellis, a self-styled "energetic leader", with passion and a great sense of humour, has provided today's piece. It is wonderfully personal, which may come as a surprise to some as most of Colin's social interaction on Twitter is work related. One of the things I love about the Advent blogs series is that it gives people a chance to share and/or see the human-side of others. Colin, as well as being a devoted dad and football fan, is a management consultant, specialising in project management. He lives and is based in Melbourne, Australia. If you want to know more about his work check out his website.

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The things that made me who I am...

I'm not one for regrets. I never have been and never will be. That's not to say that I've been a bundle of happiness and energy for the 45 years I've been here. Indeed, according to my parents the first 3 were quite the opposite. I just don't see the point in focussing on the negatives of my life.

I think I've always been this way, although like most I've had periods of intense stress that have tested my powers of positivity to their limits. I've never taken the time to reflect on why this is, mainly because I don't have the greatest memory, but I thought that in the spirit of Xmas I'd give it a go. Maybe the psychologists out there can see patterns in the things that I can remember that can point to my positive approach, or maybe I'm just using this as something my kids can be embarrassed about in the years to come.

So this blog is for me, you and them. These are the things that I remember that have made me who I am today.

I remember

I remember...swinging on the washing line we had in our paved back yard, it snapping and me breaking my leg. I also remember the fact that my Mum thought I was faking injury, despite the leg being visibly broken! I also remember returning from hospital at around midnight and watching the Battle of Britain on TV.

I remember...sitting on my Dad's knee at Everton matches. Back in the '70s you used to be able to lift small children over the barriers for free, providing they were sitting on your knee. I remember the sights, smells and sounds of being surrounded by 40,000 people and finding the whole atmosphere electric. It was also interesting seeing a different side to Dad.

Everton FC in 1970s - photo from Joe Neary (exacta2a)

I remember...being a half decent footballer who loved to score goals and I'm not sure that will ever leave me, despite the fact I'm not able to play anymore. I also remember how exhausted I used to be playing/training 6 days a week and being relieved when I told my Dad on Edinburgh Waverley Station that I didn't want to play any more. He was deeply disappointed.

I remember...copying code from a book into my Sinclair ZX Spectrum, saving the resulting game to a tape and taking it round to my Aunty and Uncle's house so they could play it. My parents weren't interested in computers, however my Aunty and Uncle had been early adopters and loved the fact that I'd 'written' the games for them. They gave me 50p every time I took a tape around.

Sinclair ZX Spectrum

I remember...holidaying in Devon every year for about 10 years and only ever having one nice summer (1976, the year of the UK drought)! Mum and Dad would buy us outfits for our Action Man figures and we would then roam the caravan park playing with other kids until it was time for tea. Or else sit on the beach behind a wind break waiting for the temperature to reach 20 degrees Celsius so we could go into the sea.

1970s Action Man figures 

I remember...receiving a BMX bike for Christmas and thinking it was the best thing I'd ever owned. I spent hours practising the tricks until I was proficient in bunny hops, bar-spins and feebles. I fell off a few times, but it never deterred me from wanting to master the tricks.

Colin with his treasured BMX

I remember...our extended family parties being fantastic fun, but that they almost always ended in a fight. It was the only time we got to see all of Dad's 6 brothers and sisters together in the same place along with their children. We'd start by eyeing each other suspiciously before progressing to sliding on our knees together over polished hardwood dance floors. The party was officially over when the first punch was thrown!

I remember...Dad letting us stay up late to watch comedy shows on a Thursday evening after we'd been swimming. The Two Ronnies, Dave Allen, The Kenny Everett Show, Monty Python, Kelly Monteith and so on. Those shows and the hilarious personalities in and around the city of Liverpool made me want to be a stand up comedian. Laughing until I cried was (and still is) one of my favourite things.

1970s TV shows, good enough to make you cry!

I remember...being unhappy at school because I just didn't know what I wanted to do with myself. I was fairly introverted and tried too hard to fit in. I was endlessly compared to other children and felt the pressure of that. By 16 I just wanted to leave, get a job and buy records. Which is exactly what I did.

Vinyl record collection

I remember...one year wanting to spend my school holidays helping my Grandma. She lived alone upstairs in an old shop 3 miles away from us and, for some reason, one summer I just wanted to do some nice things for her. I would ride to her house on my bike every day and move furniture about, fill holes, brush up the mouse droppings or help her with her basic chores and she would make me a sandwich for lunch and cups of tea throughout the day. She died tragically 4 weeks later whilst we were on holiday in Devon.

I remember...very little about my early twenties! Having left school for a job with a bank, I suddenly found I had money. Not only that but that I'd grown 4 inches and found an inner confidence not previously seen. So I did what any late teen in the UK would, I invested it in alcohol and girls. Apart from a glorious day with my mates at Wembley Stadium watching INXS, most of  the details of my early twenties have been conveniently forgotten!

INXS live at Wembley, 1991

I remember...feeling unfulfilled in my safe and secure bank job. I'd done really well for myself in terms of progression but felt that something was missing and also that my efforts were worth more money. To my parents dismay ('but they give you a 0% mortgage!') I resigned and got a job working in Telesales for my local newspaper. A decision that changed my life.

I remember...Everton winning the FA Cup, not long after I started with the newspaper. Despite my brother and I being regulars at the games, big match tickets went to a ballot and we missed out. Thankfully my manager was married to a local radio celebrity and she was able to get us tickets. We travelled down with my mate, his Dad and sister and it was one of the best days of my life. Everton won, obviously.

I remember...being appointed as a project manager for Y2K systems implementations because 'I was good with people' and having no idea what to do. However, after day one I remember feeling that I'd found something that I could truly love. Organisation, planning, people, travel, deadlines, an expense account(!); it all fitted my idea of what great work looked like.

I remember...working horrible hours for 3 years with only two 2-week holidays. And I remember loving pretty much every minute of it culminating in successful implementations in every site we worked at. I learned so much from so many great people who welcomed me with open arms into their workplaces despite us changing the way that they worked forever.

I remember...feeling the effects of stress for the first time. It was a completely alien experience for me and was resolved, 14 months later, when a new doctor told me: to stop wasting my time worrying about things I can't control; to exercise regularly; and to only do the things in my spare time that made me feel good about myself. Probably not prescribed medical practice but it worked!

I remember...the time when I decided to become a leader not a manager and it was all down to an email. I mistakenly copied a senior manager of a consulting company into an email to my boss expressing my dislike/distrust for the work that they were doing. He gave me a 15 minute lecture on what it meant to have integrity and sent me to apologise. It was deeply embarrassing and I made a decision to be better at communicating both internally and externally.

I remember...my first earthquake and wondering what the hell it was! 5 months after emigrating to New Zealand I was stood looking out across a valley and thought I could hear a freight train, then 5 seconds later feeling the house shake like jelly. My heart was pounding for about 20 minutes afterwards. The 2013 earthquake was more terrifying, but I'll never forget the first time.

Christchurch, New Zealand, post earthquake 2013

I remember...the birth of both of my children and the bravery of my wife throughout both. Despite it being the most inappropriate time for situational comedy, it didn't stop me trying! Don't get me started on birthing pools...

And finally...

I remember...realising that what I missed most about the project management environments I'd worked in was the ease in which we did things. Communications, meetings, collaboration, our approach to delivery and the way we celebrated success. When I decided to work for myself in 2010 I resolved to stay true to the simplistic, communicative and positive approaches that had served me and the teams I worked with so well pre-year 2000.

All of these things contributed to make me the person that I am today. I'll never stop learning, embracing the positive affirmation or constructive feedback that I'm given or trying to be the best person that I can be in every situation that I face. I won't always succeed or get it right, but I'll use the decisions, experiences and memories to make sure that mistakes aren't repeated and positive outcomes cherished.

Happy Xmas!