Home - Day 51

Day 51 (Saturday 20th January 2018)

51, the age of Franklin D. Roosevelt when he was first elected to be President
of the U.S.A., in 1933. On the 20th January 1945 he was sworn-in for an unprecedented
(and never to be repeated) 4th term as US President. He was the first sering President
to fly in a plane, the first to speak on television (when he opened the World Fair in 1938)
and the first to appoint a woman to the US Cabinet (Frances Perkins, who was Secretary
of Labor from 1933 to 1945. She was one of only two cabinet members to remain
throughout his presidency. She helped establish many of the important aspects of the
New Deal, including laws against child labor, the first minimum wage and overtime laws,
assigned the forty-hour work week, a policy for working with labor unions, established
unemployment benefits, pensions for uncovered elderly, and welfare.)

Today is Saturday and I am relieved, as it has been a busy week. There were moments when I wondered whether I would manage to keep a flow of Post-Advent blogs running for you. I am looking forward to a period of calm. Despite the rain, some of today will be spent pootling in the garden, filling bird feeders, etc... in preparation for next weekend's RSPB's Big Garden Birdwatch - something I do every year; playing my part in the annual assessment of  birdlife in the UK. Last year's results showed that there has been a 44% increase in the numbers of goldfinch since 2007. I love goldfinch - social, chattering flashes of yellow, with red patches on their heads that come to feast as a family on the Nyger seeds. Goldfinches are the connecting imagery through the pages of the beautiful book, The Lost Words, given to me as a gift by fellow nature-lover Simon Heath. The book was inspired by the words that were being removed from the Oxford Junior Dictionary and hence being lost to parlance. Robert Macfarlane (one of the authors) wrote a beautiful piece, Badger or Bulbasaur, about the book and our diminishing connection with nature last September. We may not like it, but we are a part of nature and should be more careful with our home - the Earth is the only one we have.

Today's post, whose theme is "Home" is written by an Advent Blogs pioneer - she was one of the very first to become involved when the series was founded and established by and she has remained loyal ever since. This piece comes all the way from New Zealand and has been crafted by Zoe Mounsey. Zoe was born and raised in the UK, in Nottinghamshire. She initially studied Psychology and commenced a career linked to the Education in the UK. In 2013 she, her husband and two children emigrated to New Zealand. She has retained her close links to Academia and now works as a Senior Research Programme Advisor for the New Zealand Fire Service (a job she started last February, having previously focused her academic attention on Disaster Research at Massey University). Zoe and I first became acquainted via Twitter (you too can follow her on Twitter, her handle is @zoemounsey). 

Both photos are provided by Zoe, I added the music at the end.

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Recently I have been thinking a lot about home and what it means to me as an immigrant. I use the word home to mean one of two places - firstly the place where we live in Kapiti, New Zealand. When driving from Wellington there is a point on the road or train line, where you suddenly see the sea and Kapiti Island which always tells me I am nearly home. Home, also means my parents house in the UK where I lived from aged 11. This year my parents will move into a new house and it will be interesting to see how I feel about their new place - will it be home for me? Or will their old house always be ‘home’ because of the memories. Is home about four walls or is it about people and connection? Is it about a space where you feel safe, accepted for who you are? 

My work in disaster research has taught me about the importance of home for those who experience disasters - those that have to relocate due to damage from fires, floods or earthquakes often experience more negative psychological outcomes. This has been on my mind, especially with the Grenfell disaster, as I know the community has been dispersed and I worry what this means for the people impacted by the tragedy. I know I feel more secure in New Zealand now that we have bought a house and have slowly made it our own. It’s more than security, it’s about having our own space and being able to make decisions about how that space looks. 

When I was 13 I wrote a poem called Home which was published in a children’s poetry anthology. 

Back when I wrote that I was the one growing up and home was very much a place of safety and security for me. Now I am the parent and it’s my job to create the home where my kids feel that they can tell the tales of growing up. It’s harder than I ever imagined - this year has involved bullying, friendship difficulties, first boyfriend and first kiss, anxiety about academic performance, concerns about appearance, internet boundaries and discussions about sex, pornography and suicide. Technology has been a key theme and her ability to access information that she is not yet mature enough to process. YouTube and a series of vloggers are Miss 10s preferred sources of information and provide her with insights into the world. I have learnt that while we can restrict access the best approach is to discuss with her what she has been watching and try to put it into context for her. Not always easy when I am often the last person she wants to talk to. 

So I am still musing about home, what it is, what it means and how I can create a space/place that my kids will always feel is home. And hoping that there is still a ‘home’ for me in the UK.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Home Is Where The Heart Is

Turn on the light - Day 50

Day 50 (Friday 19th January 2018)

50 years ago today, on Friday 19th January 1968, an experiment was undertaken to see
if an earthquake could be triggered by detonating an underground weapon along a
fault line (the experiment was called "Project Faultless").
The residents of the closest towns to the Central Nevada Test Site were briefed about
what to expect, and an atomic bomb was detonated in Nye County at a depth of 3,200 feet (980 m).
The blast, described by the US Atomic Energy Commission as being one megaton,
was believed to be the most powerful nuclear weapon ever exploded in the United States,
and caused upheavals and dropping of the ground in a wide area, breaking windows 87 miles
(140 km) away at a high school in Ely. According to reports the next day, "Buildings swayed
in Salt Lake City and San Francisco", particularly in the Southern Pacific building in the
California city; the tremor caused by the blast was estimated by the University of
California at Berkeley to be 6.0 on the Richter scale.

Last night I was at the Apprenticeships National Awards at the Grosvenor House on Park Lane in London. What a wonderful event and great way to celebrate all that is being done to make work and the people in work better. I live a double life, in that I am Group HR Director for a financial services business but also an elected Governor for one of the NHS's leading Foundation Trusts in London (with both St Thomas' and Guy's Hospitals within the remit). I know in both spheres the positive impact that apprenticeships offer to bright, ambitious people who want to earn and learn. We were shown an inspiring video of Team UK's success at the 2017's WorldSkills cevent held in Abu Dhabi

 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAAfsOplRcs) 

I am proud of the manner in which my organisation is allocating training and development using the Levy funds to enhance our employees' skills - I have two people undertaking MBAs to help them gain the knowledge and understanding required for their future roles, a significant number of people are undertaking the Institute of Leadership and Management accredited qualifications and we have some apprentices joining both in the branch network and in various support functions.

Today's post is by Denise Sanderson-Estcourt, she, like me, loves watching people learn and grow. Denise has a very busy life: she is an HR, OD and Learning specialist and trainer, she is the HR, OD and Learning Business Partner for the Royal College of Physicians in London, but has also got her own consultancies, such as Damson HR, which provides HR advice. She is passionate about helping people achieve positive outcomes and is a positive person herself. She describes her interests as Family, Fashion, Faith and Football, and one of her other businesses plays to her strengths and interests: she is a popular fashion stylist and image consultant with her own business, Damson Belle - advising individuals on colour, style and cut (hair and outfits) to ensure that they look and feel their best. She is a loving and proud mother of a gorgeous son and an active member of her local church and community. Denise is a blogger with various sites to cover her interests - work, fashion, and health. She lives in London. 

She is active on social media, you can follow her on Twitter (her handle is @DamsonHR).

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Last year I really appreciated the impact of a little light into a lot of darkness. 

At times in 2017 I despaired at the world we're in. It felt as if, despite daylight, the days were dark. Forget 'fake news', I've felt many times that they were days of dark news. Terror attacks, Trump, Harvey Weinstein, Brexit troubles, Northern Ireland's peace seemingly less settled, Nazanin's incarceration, the list goes on, with (in my opinion) Grenfell Towers one of the darkest of them all.

As well as the big world stuff was, there were of course personal periods of darkness (because in a 12- month period, who doesn't have them eh?). And in those moments, I'd feel angry, frustrated, sorry for myself. And then I'd feel guilty for feeling sorry for those feelings, given the bigger backdrop. 

But all my personal angst and guilt did was add darkness to the darkness. I can't control the world's light but I could create my own, so I'd remind myself to turn towards the light, towards the moments that made a positive difference. I recognised them consciously. I wrote them down or Instagram'ed them. I reflect on them. I hold on to them. 

And where a positive memory didn't seem in reach, I set out to create a new one by doing actually something, as I'd promised myself I would do in December 2016. And it largely worked. 

I recognise that it doesn't work that way all the time and for everyone. It's not as easy as some would have you believe to manifest good things, positive think your way out. In fact my experience last year was less about deep thinking and more about doing despite.

All (well most!) of my time with my son. A family cruise. My trip to see and old friend in France alone. My girly weekends away. My friends. My personal development. My light bulb moments. Acts of kindness - given and received. Trips to art galleries. Going to the cinema and theatre. Joining a church home group. Time with my family. Time on my own. Self-care. Faith and hope. 

These times were like candles in a sometimes dark room.

In the darkness every bit a light is precious, to be appreciated and reached for.

In the dark sky we don't just see that, the moon and one small shining star - we see many stars, some big, some small, and brighter, some fainter. However many, however bright I find it helps to focus on that because the more we open our eyes and look up to see, the little more bearable the night. It's still night, but it's often star bright!

Christmastime really reflects that.

Every New Year, every day, every moment offers us a fresh start and also the opportunity to be the candle in a dark room or one of those stars on a dark night. 

As JK Rowling wrote for Albus Dumbledore: 

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." 

Sometimes, you've got to find the light first though. And for that, it can help to look within and well as look out. Sometimes too, you have to be the light.

Dusk and dawn - Day 49

Day 49 (Thursday 18th January 2018)

49, the age of King Naresuan of Siam when he died. On the 18 January 1591,
King Naresuan the Great killed Prince Minchit Sra of Burma in a single elephant combat,
marking the end of Burmese invasion. The battle is one of the epic moments in Thai
military history and the day is now commemorated as Royal Thai Armed Forces Day.
King Naresuan ruled 

I have much to think about today - yesterday early evening I spent some time in one of the leading London hospitals - working with the leaders, looking at data relating to patient safety, staff well-being and the levels of care. Unlike many hospitals Guy's and Saint Thomas' did not stop undertaking routine operations during the recent crisis and did not grind to a halt during the peak of the severe outbreak of flu that has hampered so many other Trusts; indeed emergency patient care was provided by the Trust to other Trusts' patients to help other hospitals that were struggling in the area. At present across most of the NHS more nurses are leaving than joining and, without sufficient nurses it is impossible to establish extra beds for patients during times of crisis.

Today's post is by Jo Mortimer. Jo is a successful business woman - she has grown and runs one of the most significant divisions of the global recruitment firm Angela Mortimer. The ethos of the company rests on integrity (both towards individuals and clients). By going out of your way to understand what an individual or a business needs, it is possible to ensure a great cultural fit where all parties can thrive. 

Jo is highly intelligent and a delight to spend time with. After reading (and gaining a 1st) in Psychology at Cambridge, Jo commenced working in education as a primary school teacher. She is a gifted musician and singer and, despite no longer running youth choirs and school curricula, she remains actively involved in the folk music scene. Jo lives in south London with her enchanting daughter and brilliantly supportive husband. You can connect with her on social media (her Twitter handle is @J0Mortimer.

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I love this series of blogs. It brings a real sense of connection to a disparate group of people. This year, as is often the case, mental health has been a strong theme. When we hosted a seminar on the topic this year we were overwhelmed by the response of HR professionals now keen to engage with it. Corbyn has likewise been strong on the theme. It seems the taboo around mental health is melting with the ice-caps. But how to go about nurturing it, and helping others do the same?

At this time of year we find ourselves celebrating the dusk of the old year and the dawn of the new – a celebration older than time. The dominant paradigm where I live in the UK is the Christian imagery, with advent calendars and nativity plays a plenty, and a few of the old pagan traditions still pleasantly loitering like dear grandparents around the fire.

The story behind the Christmas festival – in its most literal interpretation – is that a virgin gave birth.

Sorry to be the one to bring up religion at the Advent blog dinner party, but I think it’s fair to say that taken out of context – or, well, in any context – lots of people might think that was a bit of a tall one. However, at this time of year, many learned and well respected members of society stand in pulpits, sing in the pews and “proclaim the virgin birth”.

Over the past two years various births, deaths and marriages in my life have led me to engage with the Church on a logistical level and it was when exploring the various Christening/naming/child celebration options, I got in touch for the first time with our local vicar.

In our living room, with my husband sitting awkwardly with a cup of tea I knew he wished was a single malt, I asked her what she thought people who went to church actually believe. Her response was: “look around the congregation, 85 different people, 85 different beliefs”. This was a small revelation to me. 

Having attended a “C of E” school, I was familiar with Christian traditions and had even had what I thought was strong personal faith as a teenager. But then aged 16 I read Freud who basically changed my mind. I set up camp with Richard Dawkins et al, essentially still a fundamentalist but on the other side of the fence. I rejected virgin births along with Father Christmas and other fairy tales.

As an atheist fundamentalist, you can’t really go to church, because it’s against your religion. Just like you can’t go to visit Santa in his grotto….or can you?

Rejecting ideas is all very well, but as the mental health theme is showing us, human beings still have needs of the spirit. We long to be part of communities, to be loved, to have company, to have families, to sometimes have distance from those families, to feel useful, supported and part of something bigger than ourselves.

A Part of Something Bigger by Laurel Pettit

As a Philosophy student, I also explored non-intellectual approaches to spirituality through meditation, yoga and Taoist Tai Chi™. Through Tai Chi I have had exposure to Taoist, Confucian and Buddhist rituals and chanting. I have never been expected to understand, let alone vouch for the content of the chanting. Indeed some of the chants are so old they are now incomprehensible to anyone of any dialect, and the syllables are simply chanted, keeping the ritual alive. My experience must be similar to that of the English illiterati of centuries past, enjoying the break from the daily grind as the Latin readings and communal singing washed over them.

Because I didn’t have to engage with the meaning of the chanting, the fundamentalist atheist in me was able to relax, and I felt great benefit. I was physically energised, enjoyed community with my fellow chanters and allowed my brain to stop whirring. I also found the space when celebrating the All Souls festival in the Chinatown of Toronto, Canada, to have a good old cry and let go of grief and tension I hadn’t even realised I was holding on to.

London is a wonderfully cosmopolitan melting pot, but as with anywhere in the world, Taoist temples are few!  With the discovery that our vicar doesn’t mind me coming to church and adding a 86th belief system to the existing 85 she counts in her congregation, I’ve discovered a delightful community, quite literally on my doorstep, where I can go on the lonely Sunday mornings when I would otherwise be pushing my toddler on a solitary swing, quietly wondering what the point is.

I think lots of us stay away from church because we are ourselves fundamentalists (albeit of the atheist persuasion). Understandably it feels hypocritical to take part in a ceremony that you can’t wholeheartedly buy into. Equally, we wouldn’t want to stand up and say: “I believe in Santa Claus, gifter almighty, maker of candy and sleighs”. (Except perhaps in the grotto at the school Christmas fair, when it would be rude not to.)

The beauty of the culture of the Church of England tradition, and something I hadn’t properly appreciated, is that everyone is welcome to come to church, no matter what you believe. Heck, they even have the ‘doubting Thomas’ story for those of us who know we don’t know.

I suppose life’s finally gifted me the humility to realise I need the support of a community and the space to connect to The Universe/Space/Peace/Quiet/Reality/Truth/God* (*delete as you see fit – though in my view defining the last one can be a can of worms).

I also think that if congregations dwindle and we lose the churches, we will have lost a baby in all that murky, grubby bathwater. Whether it’s a stained glass window, a candle, a sermon, a carol, an old lady talking to your baby or a mince pie that gives you pause for thought, there’s a rich tapestry on offer that in my view has yet to be replicated on one’s doorstep.

All Saints Church Denmead - stained glass window

In an age of frightening radicalism and polarisation, churches have the potential to become a place where moderates can come together, connect with their community, take some time for reflection and enjoy a rare moment of peace. The more the merrier!

 

Illumination through interaction - Day 48

Day 48 (Wednesday 17th January 2018)

48% of those who voted in the UK referendum on June 23rd 2016 wished to remain
in Europe and 52% voted to leave. A year ago, on 17th January 2017, Prime Minister
Theresa May made her much commented upon Brexit speech at Lancaster House in
London, which resulted in EU Chief Donald Tusk commenting that the UK was "getting
more realistic". It is a year later and we still seem to have much yet to be agreed.

Last night I went to an interesting talk on the future of personal investment with a focus on diversity, social mobility and the changes impacting the wealth management industry. It was hosted by the Cornhill Club (a club founded in 1931 by a group of City bankers early last century with a view to bringing learning, awareness and CPD to people who work in financial services - L&D long before it was a thing). It was a wonderful mixture of tradition and future thinking and  the speaker was Sarah Bates, the Chair of St James' Place Wealth Management and an excellent example of social mobility and success through personal endeavour.

Today's post is by Rob Baker, the Founder and Director of Tailored Thinking. He is based in Durham and I rather wish that I had hooked up with him when I was in the City at the start of the week - ah well, there's always next time... Rob initially studied Psychology at Loughborough and was an international athlete and coach. He then commenced a career in HR (spending 5 years as a consultant with PwC; 2 years as an HR Manager for a joint venture between Rotherham Council and British Telecom where he established an HR shared service centre for 12,000 employees; and worked in HR supporting academics in Sheffield University for six years), before uprooting himself to work in a range of HR related positions at the University of Melbourne. Whilst in Australia he also managed to attain a first class Masters in Applied Positive Psychology. Rob returned to the UK in autumn 2016 and resumed working at Sheffield until March of last year, when he took the entrepreneurial plunge he had been planning (more of this below). 

Rob is both a chartered fellow of the CIPD and the Australian HR Institute. He is passionate about helping people thrive and is an advocate of positive business approaches. He writes a good blog on his business site. You can get to know him better via Twitter (his handle is @BakerRJM)

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In March I was in the dark. I knew I wanted to start my own business, which I had been planning for some time, but I lacked clients, contacts and (at times) confidence.

Hard to start

In this contribution to Katie’s (fabulous) advent blog series, I wanted to share how I have been building my personal and professional network and “shedding some light” on different perspectives and experiences of the world of work through a personal challenge I set myself in April.

My challenge was to have 100 interesting conversations with 100 interesting people about work.

It is my hope that in a small way my experiences may encourage someone else who is thinking about, or facing, their own personal or professional challenge.

How it all began

I was speaking to a good friend Lesley in March about one of the key challenges that I saw in starting my business - developing a personal and professional network, of leaders, practitioners and researchers who had interest, experience or curiosity in positive psychology, positive approaches to business and HR consultancy.

Knowing that I was someone often inspired by (sometimes stupid) challenges she jokingly suggested that I could set myself a target of meeting 100 new people during the year.

Whilst I initially dismissed the idea, it rattled away in my mind.

On a train a couple of days later, I took out a notepad and scribbled a few further thoughts. Rather than just meeting people, I wondered whether I could use a positive psychology approach, and frame the challenge so that it played to my strengths and interests. Perhaps I could use my curiosity of learning about different aspects of work to – in my mind at least - help shape and frame the purpose of any contact and conversation?

By the end of the journey I had written a myself a challenge “to have 100 interesting conversations with 100 interesting people about work” during the first year of starting my business, Tailored Thinking.  

Nine months, in, I’ve had 112 conversations.

How have the conversations gone?

My criteria for what constituted a conversation was (and is) quite fast and loose, but involved a meaningful discussion about some aspect of the world of work.  

I’ve had these in person, by phone, on Skype, over breakfast, lunch, coffee and (often most entertainingly) beer. They have ranged from 5 minutes to 2 hours. They have all been (almost entirely) enjoyable and – if I am honest, one of the most fun parts of starting up my business.

What have I learnt?

Well, quite a bit. I am still in the process of unpicking the many themes and points of wisdom generously shared, but here are a few immediate learnings that have jumped out at me (in no particular order):

1)     People are kind and generous, often incredibly so.

I have often been sideswiped by how generous people have been with their time, ideas and personal contacts. I’ve found this both tremendously humbling but also inspiring and of great support to me during what has, at times, been a lonely process as a start-up.

2)     My “natural” networks aren’t very diverse.

It turns out that my engineered serendipity led to meeting people who shared broadly similar age, education and ethnicity. This is perhaps not a big surprise, but something I am conscious of.  It would be dangerous to assume that the ideas, views and experiences which have been shared with me are representative of a wider population. 

3)     I really enjoy making connections amongst those people I have met

An unexpected, but positive, outcome of my experiment is that I have been in the position to connect people with others and spread ideas and resources that have been shared with me. This has been a real joy and a small way to “give back” to those who have taken the time to meet with me.

4)     It turns out there might be something in this social media malarkey

A small, but significant number of my conversations have resulted from people I have “met” through social media, Twitter in particular. Having been a serial lurker for many months, I plucked up the courage to get involved in the fabulous #HRhour and have never really looked back.

5)     You never know where your conversations will lead

A bit of a cliche I know, but opportunities to write, learn, consultant, present and podcast have all come about through my conversations – and many of these opportunities have come someway along a chain of conversations I have had, where one person connects with another and so on (I think my record for a chain of conversations is 8 people).

6)     Things sparkle and fizz when you connect over common ideas

I have often found myself swept upwards in a spiral of energy and excitement during and after my conversations. Rifting on, developing and picking apart existing ideas and developing new ones has, at times, been some of the most fun I have had during the last 9 months (I know I should get out more).

I’ll continue to reflect on, mine, and potentially blog about some further reflections of my 100 conversations about work project later in the New Year.

I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who was a part of this (knowingly or not) and for those I have met through social media or in person for continuing to share, stretch and stitch together ideas, thoughts and communities of practice.

Good luck to those of you setting, or facing, your own personal or professional challenges in 2018. If you would be willing to share some of your thoughts about what works well at work then get in touch (@bakerrjm). I would love to hear from you.

Darkness to light - Day 47

Day 47 (Tuesday 16th January 2018)

47 years ago, on the 16th January 1981, Leon Spinks (the American professional
boxer who in only his 8th professional fight won the undisputed heavyweight championship
in after defeating Muhammad Ali) was mugged and robbed. After being attacked in the
street he was taken to a motel and had $450000 worth of clothes, accessories and jewellery
taken, including his gold teeth. Spinks' boxing heavyweight title was short lived and
after boxing he became a wrestler, winning the world title in 1992 (he is the only person to hold
both the boxing and wrestling world titles). He has suffered heavily as a result of boxing - in
2012 he was diagnosed as suffering from shrinkage in his brain due to the impact of opponents' punches

Today is my father's birthday. He is turning 87. He is an amazing man (and a much loved father and grandfather) and I hope he has a wonderful day. 

The author of today's post, the highly talented photographer Paul Clarke, took a wonderful picture of my father at my eldest son's 21st birthday and I treasure it. If you have not seen his work, I urge you to click onto Paul's website: paulclarke.com - it's no wonder that he has won multiple awards. He has an eye for detail (he writes beautifully too - his blog on his business site is worth reading). You can also find Paul on Twitter, Flickr, and Facebook. He is witty, engaging, perspicacious and highly intelligent - a joy to spend time with.

It perhaps should come as no surprise that a photographer has much to say about darkness and light.

PS I have used various photos that Paul took this year to illustrate his post - you can see them (and more) on his blog and website.

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In my professional world, the world of photos and images, nothing happens without light. Literally, nothing. Seeing it, shaping it, playing with it – that’s what we do.

If I look back over the last decade as I’ve made the shift into this world, I can pick out distinct points when I started to think of light in different ways. How it might be brought into focus; how it behaves in a tight field of view; what colour it is (even when it’s “white”) and how it’s less important whether something is generally bright or dark, but much more important how light and dark contrast with each other.

This was taken in bright sunshine using the sun as the "lightbulb",
 but tightening up the camera to enable only the brightest light to get through

Over 2017 there’ve been times of deep personal darkness for me, but also plenty of light. Shakespeare nailed the very human need for contrast in Henry IV Part One, of course: “If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work” - and we have many modern equivalents.

We need the light so that we can recognise the dark, and the dark so that we can appreciate the light.

As I’ve hauled my way slowly into this new industry (from a post-40 standing start), my own lights and darks have happened in different ways. Sometimes they’ve been about finding any business at all. Or about overcoming some technical difficulty, or unfamiliarity with equipment.

This collection of more than 190 antique and modern pieces of photographic equipment
was neatly arranged and photographed by Portland-based photographer Jim Golden.
The equipment was borrowed from members of Portland’s photo community.

But the later stages have been the hardest to conquer. Putting it simply: if you try to do something well, you’ll get better at it. If you get better at it, you’ll attract tougher assignments. If you get tougher assignments, you’ll set higher standards for yourself.

It’s a spiral of expectation and challenge, and in the second half of this year it bit me. The particular client will never know of course – we’re good at hiding our own terrors in this regard. The job always gets done, and done well. But the process – that moment of realising that you’re through to a new level, and must deliver, can be awfully painful.

Composition study: shells by Amiria Gale

I think it’s something that’s particularly tough in the creative arts. What I make – by definition – has never existed before. I produce concepts, not just outputs. Were I making steel rivets, there’d be some opportunity to make a better rivet, but not much. I’d be measured on speed and consistency of delivery, but the product would be a known.

Making unknowns – whether in words, music or pictures – is different. Working with humans, as I do, means that the subject’s reaction to the unknown thing yet to be made will also be an unknown. Unknowns piled on unknowns! Where’s the light to be found in all of that? It’s very easy to fall into the dark.

I did fall, and at the lowest point I felt like giving it all up. If I lost confidence, then there’d be no creativity. No creativity, and there’d be no clients. No clients and… and so the spiral descends.

But I pulled back from the edge, this time. Going back to the simplest principles of how light works with dark. Sticking with my instincts about where the strength of an image would really be found. Stripping away composition and complexity to tell a story with as small a number of elements as possible.

October wedding photo by Paul Clarke

The job was delivered, eventually. The client was happy, immediately. The dark… didn’t recede as such, but took on a new texture. And so did the light. And so we head into a new year.

However brightly or dimly the light shines for you this year, I hope that you find plenty of contrast. That’s really what keeps us going, after all.

Seagulls by Paul Clarke