Flying the nest

This weekend, I experienced what I suspect will be a profound moment in my life – I helped my eldest son to fly the family nest and move into his own home. The experience made me reflect on the nature of change and the importance of recognising when it’s time to embrace new chapters in life and career. My eldest son moved into his own home the same month the world saw President Biden acknowledge that he should stand down from the US election. Both events, though vastly different, share a common theme: the right time to accept change.

Seeing my son step into his new home filled me with a mix of pride and nostalgia (and yes, a few tears were shed). It’s a monumental step, signifying his transition into true adulthood. For years, he has prepared for this moment— saving diligently, learning to budget, buying useful items, and making plans. As a parent, it’s a bittersweet milestone. We nurture our children, provide them with guidance, and support them until they’re ready to fly solo. When that moment arrives, it’s both a validation of our efforts and a poignant reminder that change is constant and inevitable. I am going to miss waving him off to work in the mornings – he always left the house earlier than me. However, as the saying goes: If you truly love something, let it go. On a more positive note, I am glad not to be loading up and driving a transit van again this week.

On a broader stage, President Biden’s decision to step down from the upcoming election is a pivotal moment in political leadership. Leadership is not just about knowing how to govern but also understanding when to pass the baton. President Biden’s tenure has been marked by significant achievements and challenges. His decision to not run is a testament to his self-awareness and commitment to the greater good. It’s an acknowledgment that new leadership might bring fresh perspectives and renewed energy, essential for addressing future events.

These two occurrences prompted me to think about the right time to accept change in life and career. Here are a few reflections:

1.     Self-awareness: Understanding your strengths, limitations, and the context around you is crucial. Whether it’s moving out, like my son, or stepping down from a role, like President Biden, recognising when your current path no longer aligns with your goals or the needs of those you serve is key.

2.     Preparation and Planning: Change is less daunting when it’s planned. My son’s move was the result of years of preparation (if his lawyer had had any more involvement, it might even now still be an on-going project). Similarly, effective career transitions often come from thoughtful planning and readiness to embrace new opportunities.

3.     Courage to Let Go: It takes courage to let go of the familiar. For my son, it was the comfort of home – laundry, cleaning, a full fridge all laid on; for President Biden, it’s the power and responsibility of leadership. Embracing change often means stepping into the unknown, which requires bravery and confidence in the future.

4.     Openness to Growth: Change often brings growth. New challenges and environments push us to adapt and evolve. By moving into his own home, my son will learn and grow in ways he couldn’t under my roof. For President Biden, stepping aside allows for new leadership to tackle emerging issues with fresh vigour.

5.     Legacy and Impact: Ultimately, the decision to embrace change should consider the legacy you leave behind. My son’s independence is a part of the legacy of our family’s values and way of being (we are all strong-minded individuals). President Biden’s decision reflects his desire to ensure a stable and prosperous future for the nation, valuing the legacy of his leadership.

Change is inevitable and necessary for personal and collective growth. Whether it’s watching a loved one embark on a new journey or witnessing a leader make a selfless decision, these moments remind us that the right time to accept change is when it aligns with our values, readiness, and the greater good.

Here’s to embracing change with wisdom, courage, and a forward-looking perspective. And may Charles be very happy in his new home.

Living on the edge

Hong Kong, with its towering skyscrapers, bustling streets and scenic islands is more than just a special administrative region of China; it’s a melting pot of cultures, traditions and beliefs. In some ways Lo Ting, Hong Kong’s distinctive mythical creature, which supposedly still resides in family groups on and around the island of Lantau, is an apt emblem for the region. Being half-man, half-fish, a Lo Ting is able to straddle and survive in two environments, much like Hong Kong itself has thrived as a crossing point between the East and the West. But there is more to Lo Ting than its ability to cope in challenging conditions. I think it has much to tell us about DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) and the way we treat and accept others.

Jimmy Keung’s Lo Ting sculpture that was commissioned by Oscar Ho
for the 1997 exhibition at the HKAC – Photo by Ilaria

Lo Ting’s are first mentioned by a civil servant in the Tang Dynasty (618-907 CE). He was compiling a census of the region and gives descriptions of an amphibious species living near Lantau. By the Qing Dynasty there is an explanation as to how the Lo Ting evolved. It is claimed that initially they were warriors who fought for General Lu Xun (still a popular character in martial art films and manga), to try and overthrow the Jin Dynasty. Lu Xun led an unsuccessful rebellion in 410CE. His army was forced to flee from revenging imperial authorities – this resulted in their hiding and living “little better than beasts”, partially on land and partially at sea around the southern islands. Gradually these people became viewed as being amphibian and hence the legend of the Lo Ting began. Lo Tings lived secluded lives at the margins of society. Supposedly, in addition to relying on fishing, they became salt producers on Lantau; until, in 1197CE, the Song Emperor decided to nationalise salt production, resulting in a massacre of salt manufacturers during which most Lo Ting and significant numbers of the Tanka boat people were killed.

Linking the Lo Ting to the Tanka is significant. The Tanka still exist, a declining community, some of whom continue to live in their fishing boats on the shores of Hong Kong and neighbouring regions. For centuries they have been persecuted by those in power and the wider public. Colloquially referred to a “sea gypsies”, in the 18th century they were banned from marrying outside their community or from living onshore; the land-dwelling farmers fought them to prevent them from getting land; and more recently their fishing-based lifestyle has been impacted by stringent environmental laws and government policy.

People tend to overlook or reject those whom they see as different from themselves and whom they believe could potentially be a threat or awkward to interact with. All too often, we make assumptions. The colour of a person’s skin tells you nothing about their religious beliefs. The fact that someone is sixty does not indicate that they are ready to retire or wish to slow down. A fatter than average person is not de facto lazy. Youth does not prevent someone from being an excellent manager. Being female doesn’t make you a bad driver. Being male doesn’t make you a bad nurse. It is very easy to stereotype. We form opinions thanks to our own upbringings and experiences, but by excluding people or groups we diminish our own and our organisations’ ability to innovate and progress. So often the best ideas can come from an unexpected sources – frequently the new joiner to a company questions why things are done in a certain way and proposes a new and better approach – listen to them; an individual joining from a different industry can make suggestions that will enhance a product or way of communicating (virtual reality, initially developed for gaming, is now being used for training in medicine and industry and AI is transforming Finance and smart analysis of data is enhancing education and the outcomes for children). Rather than marginalising those who stand out as being different, we should welcome them and celebrate what they have to offer (ideas, experiences, aspirations) for the benefit of us all.

Despite their mistreatment, Hong Kong is indebted to the Tanka. Many people don’t know it, but Hong Kong gets its name from them – when the British first arrived in the 19th century they asked a group of indigenous people on fishing boats what the place was called. “Hong Kong” was the reply – Hong Kong are the Tanka words for “fragrant harbour.” Their language is now almost obsolete, their culture dwindling, but the name Hong Kong lives on.

Losses, Arrivals and Appreciations - Day 29

29th December 2018 

29 a Sickle is 29 Knuts make a Sickle in the fictional wizard currency in JK Rowling's
Hary Potter books. 1 Galleon = 17 Sickles; 1 Sickle = 29 Knuts 1 Galleon = 493 Knuts.
Galleons are gold coins, Sickles are silver, and Knuts are copper. In the current turbulent
currency exchange markets, I am glad that we don't have to calculate in Knuts.

Welcome to the last weekend of 2018. I drove my mother-in-law home last night - she and I enjoyed a late supper at her local - it was such a treat to be treated. Thank you Kath. I will miss having her with us. I am planning on taking it quietly today, as the past few weeks have been quite demanding and I have not been able to spend as much time with my sons as I would have liked. Happy Saturday!

Today's post is by series veteran, Michael Moran, the Chief Executive and Founder of 10eighty, a business consultancy that helps people and organisations, particularly during times of transition and to grow employee engagement. Michael is an excellent coach. He commenced his career in Human Resources, having worked in the NHS and Financial Services sector. He has successfully run HR consultancies specialising in career management for the last 20 years.  Michael is a devoted husband and father (his daughter works as 10eighty's Busienss Development Executive and his son is in the British armed forces). Michael has a passion for sport and is a season ticket holder of Derby County (so clearly he is also an optimist). He is a published author, having written  “The Guide to Everlasting Employability”, and has also designed two career management apps to support career planning You can follow him on Twitter @mdmoran10Eighty. 

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It’s that time of year - time to reflect, looking back over 2018.

It’s all about taking the time to appreciate what you have and enjoying the moment.

As you get older you start to lose people who have been a constant feature in your life, it seems strange that they are no longer there (a bit of heartache).

At the same time, you see the arrival of the next generation, and the opportunity to shape their thinking and behaviours

(that includes supporting DCFC) (a bit of hope).

It’s important that you take the time to appreciate your achievements (the high-fives). Savour the moment. It is far too easy to be dismissive of things you once strived for as you move on to the next goal. Likewise, don’t beat yourself up about the things that didn’t work. Having blown £100k on marketing and business development that didn’t get the business to the next level, it is important to take the learnings, and seek out the positives. Business growth is not a straight line. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Resilience and determination are essential characteristics for the entrepreneur.

So looking forward, it’s time to set goals. It’s time to remind yourself of mission and purpose. My mission for all those clients with whom I work is to help them achieve job satisfaction and career success. I truly believe this is something that is attainable for all. My purpose is to create a self-sustaining business, built on repeatable and predictable revenues.

As both a career coach and a business leader I recognise that you need to push yourself, take risks and seek out new experiences. This year I experienced my first massage and mediation sessions; trust me when I say this is well outside my comfort zone. Whilst not something I would necessarily repeat, it is good to do things outside of your comfort zone. This serves to reinforce my belief in the importance of learning and, indeed, the need to seek out learning experiences. As a career coach I see too many people who have checked out of the learning habit. I remain absolutely convinced that the secret of everlasting employability (quick plug for the book) is self-investment.

This year my big self-investment has been podcasts. I have combined my love of walking (read the need for exercise) with listening to podcasts. My favourite work podcast has to be Jacob Morgan’s The Future of Work, with sports favourites Radio 5 Live The Football Daily and Flintoff, Savage and the Ping Pong guy. Please check them out.

So to conclude, as we come to the end of 2018 I urge you to appreciate those around you, your family, colleagues and friends. Take the time to reflect on what you’ve achieved in the last 12 months, but more importantly make a commitment to stretch yourself, seek out new experiences and go boldly into the New Year.

Happy Christmas (we are still within the 12 days). Wishing you all a very prosperous New Year.

A perfectly imperfect year - Day 22

Saturday 22nd December 2018

22 picture cards in a Tarot deck of 78 cards (these picture cards are referred to as Major Arcana
by fortune tellers and it is said that there are 22 to reflect the number of letters in the Hebrew
alphabet and the 22 paths in the Kabbalistic Tree of Life) - it was not until the 18th century that
Tarot were used for divination; in the 15th century they were just playing cards.

We had a splendid meal last night, lots to celebrate in addition to Christmas festivities - my cousin James' wife had learned that her amazing father, Naas Steenkamp, had died at 8.10 yesterday morning. He was a true polymath and lived an extraordinary life. Amongst other things, he was instrumental in changing South Africa by ensuring, during Apartheid, that black Africans were able to belong to trade unions and receive benefits. He wrote beautifully and was so learned. I used to love sitting and chatting with him, over a fine glass of Stellenbosch red, when I visited South Africa and I always learned something new. My thoughts are with his partner, Paula, and all the family. His was a life to celebrate and aspire to emulating. In addition, yesterday, my mother and I had an excellent hospital session, where we were informed that her deterioration in the past 12 months is less severe than had been anticipated by the experts and we have a plan to try to slow the decline. Today I am looking forward to a trip to Wells with my sister, aunt and mother and then, in the evening, we are going to see the new Mary Poppins film. 

However, enough about me and my plans for the day...we have much more exciting things to contemplate. This is Natalie Ellis's debut Advent Blog - welcome to the series :-) Natalie is an HR consultant based in Northampton. She is becoming an increasingly well known voice in the HR social media community, her Twitter handle is @NatalieEllisHR. She has become an accomplished blogger, writing for and on HR matters, her own blog is at natalieellishr.com - her own blog is up for the UK Blog Awards this year. Whilst on the subject of awards - she was the Highly Commended Finalist in the CIPD's People Management Awards 2012 for the Michael Kelly Student of the Year, sits on the CIPD Northamptonshire Committee and is a Steps Ahead Ambassador. Natalie has always enjoyed helping people (this does not mean that she is "pink and fluffy") she started her career in a customer service role before moving across into HR. When not working in HR, she enjoys a good cup of tea and listening to the Spice Girls.

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As I write this blog post, instead of sitting in my usual spot, the office at home, I thought I would get in the festive mood by sitting by the Christmas tree with it’s beautiful twinkling lights whilst drinking a cup of tea and a mince pie. You cannot get more festive than this!

Christmas is a time of year conjures up a mixture of thoughts and feelings, it is also a season of familiarity, full of traditions and not to mention an endless to do list. Whilst most soak up the atmosphere of the festive season, one thing that people think of, yet often forget to do is reflect upon the year that we are about to leave behind; sometimes we just need to take stock amongst the overflowing preparations to organise ourselves for the fresh year that awaits.

I am certain that we can all agree that resolutions are temporary and mostly ineffective (sorry diets and gym memberships!); reflective practice has a much higher success rate and is sustainable for the long term, by being more contemplative and positive rather than focussing on the negative aspects of life, we are able to truly achieve happiness in both our personal and professional lives. This may not be new information, nor will it be surprising, but by taking time to reflect on the year gone by, we are able to be better prepared for the new year. 

We live in a world of perfect idealisms, and there seems to be ever increasing pressure on our lives, but over the past few months I have embraced self-reflection techniques, and by doing so, I have been able to see the benefits of getting comfortable with who I am, purely by bringing it back to the simple things that really matter. These days, there is too much emphasis upon socially acceptable “norms”, or we worry unnecessarily about what people think of us; this led to a very important decision and I simply said to myself one day “I am enough”, and so I began to adopt reflective practices.

To be thirteen years into my professional HR career and only just uncover the benefits of self-reflection could be seen as embarrassing, but by allowing myself to be vulnerable and actually taking the time to practice what I preach, it really shows that we never stop learning and that it is never too late to start.  

Reflection is such a powerful tool, yet it is often overlooked or taken for granted. It provides an opportunity to look deeper at who we are, whilst learning from our experiences, by doing this we can not only become the best version of ourselves and embracing what makes us unique, but also acknowledge that we don’t want to change who we are as individuals, but by undertaking positive self-reflection, it also allows us to see ourselves as we are now so we can develop for the future.

When we reflect, we may notice that it is easy to see the negative aspects within our circumstances such as blaming other people or pick faults, I often hear the terms “I can’t” and “I’m not good enough for…” this only leads us to believe these phrases which impact upon our confidence levels for the long term. Reflection is not about identifying faults within ourselves, our views of these external aspects are actually directing us to look inwards, by what we see on the outside is a reflection of what we may find in ourselves. I must stress that self-loathing is not ok; no matter what your opinion is of yourself, this blog was created to help people recognise that there is hope irrespective of circumstances. We must acknowledge when we are being too harshly critical of ourselves as the long term effects can be difficult to resolve.

By recognising that these thoughts and feelings are of our own creation, we can begin to understand them and that is when the magic starts to happen!

Reflecting upon our thoughts, feelings, motivations and behaviours is not a tool designed to make harsh criticisms or judgments, it is simply to help us recognise so we can learn and develop and so that it becomes a positive practice, rather than allowing our problems and worries to control us. Reflective practice is the key to becoming accepting of ourselves, but it can be a painful process, especially when we seek solutions to our everyday worries. It is important to remember that it takes time; when we were children, we couldn’t ride a bicycle right away, it took time, patience and many hours of practice. It’s also important to be mindful that there are no shortcuts to those worthwhile destinations.

Remember to value self-awareness; it is really wonderful when you discover more about yourself and it is incredibly powerful to understand who you are, why you do things as well as clarity of your personality, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and motivations.

To be able to adopt reflective practice, we need to be willing and truly believe that we are enough. From this we can then begin to make positive changes, encourage ourselves to truly understand our purpose and, even if this isn’t your cup of tea, you’d be surprised at the results when you start using these tools.

So, my message to you all for 2019 is simply, embrace your uniqueness, ignore that voice in your head that says, “you can’t” and realise that you are the master of your own destiny. 2018 taught me personally that life is too short, it’s time to make 2019 your very best year. 

Remember, that we cannot change the past or what we have done, but what we can do is take steps to positively influence the future.  

I am what I am - Gloria Gaynor.

Twelve Hopes - Day 13

Thursday 13th December 2018

Thirteen is the number of British Colonies from which the United States of America
was formed - this is why the American flag has 13 stripes.

My musical week continues - tonight I am off to the O2 to be at the "Final Bow" of the iconic band, The Pretty Things, who, after 55 years of wowing audiences and fans, are performing their last electric gig. The band was formed by ex-Rolling Stone Dick Taylor and singer Phil May, and have influenced many of the world's most famous artists, including David Bowie, Bob Dylan and the Sex Pistols. I know that it will be wild. 

Today's piece is contributed by Mark Catchlove, the Director of the Insight Group at Herman Miller. Mark is a thought leader on the work environment and what occupiers and designers need to bear in mind when creating great places. If you get the chance to attend one of his events on workplace design and related research, I urge you to go.  I first encountered Mark on Twitter (you can follow him too - his handle is @markcatchlove). He writes an excellent blog and he will make you think. He always writes popular posts for the Adven Blog series, such as our need to be there and shine a light for others. This year's post is more personal to him - he is sharing his 12 hopes for Christmas. My hope is that Mark himself has a wonderful Christmas and an amazing year ahead. I suspect that he will have a peaceful and happy one full of smiles and laughter. Mark is musical - an enthusiastic and accomplished singer and guitarist. Mark is values driven, he does his bit to make the world a better place - such as by running youth clubs and Sunday schools and being a stalwart of his local community. 

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"Heartaches, Hopes and High Fives"

Christmas is a mix of all 3 but I wanted to focus on Hope.

Hope is a “feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen”
So here are my 12 hopes – 1 for every day of Christmas:

1. That we can agree to disagree – coupled with a sense of understanding and empathy.

2. That we can still have unity of spirit, even where there is diversity of thought.

3. That random acts of kindness are no longer random, but a part of every-day life.

4. That in this busy world we take some time to look around us, to observe, to enjoy, to contemplate.

5. That children can be themselves and are not driven into conforming to the educational norms which so often stifle creativity.

6. That we don’t always rely on data to prove what we already know and have called ‘common sense’ for years.

7. That we do not judge others that are different to us and we stop make sweeping generalisations that hinder our understanding.

8. That we can be the positive difference in someone’s life and have a lasting impact.

9. That good manners will be the norm again, where please and thank you return to our everyday vocabulary.

10. That we will take time to listen more and think before we respond.

11. That we are all given respect whatever our age.

12. That you will have a Christmas that outshines all your previous Christmases and it is one to remember for all the right reasons

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela