Enabling wisdom to show through - Day 36

Day 36 (Friday 5th January 2018)

36 years ago, on the 5th January 1982, South Korea lifted its nationwide
curfew. It was originally imposed by American occupation troops 36 years
previously at the end of World War II. The midnight-to-4am. curfew was
ended on the orders of President Chun Doo Hwan. He stated that the South Koreans
were "mature' enough to do without the curfew. I suspect that the White House
staff would like to impose a curfew on Trump's tweeting. The word "curfew"
comes from the French phrase "couvre-feu", which means "fire cover". It was later
adopted into Middle English as "curfeu", which later became the modern
"curfew". Its original meaning refers to a law made by William The Conqueror
that all lights and fires should be covered at the ringing of an eight o'clock
bell in winter (or 9.00pm in summer) to prevent the spread of destructive
fire within communities in timber buildings. Watchmen would patrol to ensure compliance.

The end of the first working week of January 2018 has arrived. I am proving slower at acclimatising to being back than I would wish, but that may be because we are still celebrating in our household. We have 3 birthday as well before the end of the month.

Today's post is by Maggie Marriott - a wonderful lady based in Gloucester in England. Those of you who read her post last year will know that she is a devoted mother. In addition, Maggie runs her own business, an organisational change consultancy ENKI. She is also as highly effective coach - she has been the coach of choice for members of the civil service supporting the UK Government, helping effect transformation, especially in the areas of cyber security and assurance and also for the National Crime Agency. Since last year she has also been a coach for Ambition School Leadership, providing support to the leaders of the future within Education.

Maggie is a qualified Gestalt practitioner (she won the British Gestalt Journal Essay Prize for 2015) and she believes in enabling humane change via the approaches she devises. Being highly analytical and systematic, Maggie commenced her career as an IT programmer and worked for many years in the Public sector moving from a technical team leader to a business change specialist. As you will tell from her below post, she is very capable of embracing change and believes in authenticity. Maggie is a warm and active voice on social media and she takes excellent photos - you can connect with her on Twitter, her handle is @maggiermarriott.

*********************

Living in the UK means the visible cycle of darkness and dawn is a daily occurrence but in life, the cycle isn’t always so obvious outside our own minds and bodies. I could write about never feeling good enough, about always worrying I’ve done things wrong, about losing my fabulous Mother in law who showed me how to be a mother but instead I’m going to write about a very visible change from darkness to the light of dawn. During 2017 I transformed from the darkness of dyed brunette hair to the new dawn of white hair and so I begin 2018 with just the tips of my hair showing a reminder of the colour from 2017.

Why did I make this choice?  Because my 18 year old daughter lost all her hair to alopecia at the end of 2016 just as she was about to leave home for University which brought darkness just as a new dawn was breaking for her. And I’m a coach and I encourage people to bring their full selves to work and to be vulnerable. How could I possibly say trite phrases such as ‘your hair doesn’t define you’ and it’s the ‘person inside that matters’ when I was busily dying my hair to hide my true self.  Well obviously I couldn’t, so the hair dying had to stop!

The transformation has taken 12 long months and has been very public. And I’ve been amazed at how many age and gender biases it has exposed in those around me. The most common reaction has been of shock and disbelief.  Some asked why would I possibly want to do that? Some were concerned that I would become one of the invisible older women and treated differently once my hair was white. And others own identities were shaken as they tried to imagine having a friend with white hair. Wow, what was that about your hair doesn’t define you? It seemed at times that my hair didn’t only define me it also defined others.

Well, I spent the first 3 months covering up my emerging white stripe with a root covering spray so that was a gentle start. Then in month 4 the white stripe became too wide to hide so my hairdresser bleached some of the brunette colour out so I looked less like a black and white badger and more like a ginger fox. From then on I spent the rest of 2017 patiently watching this new white haired version of me emerge and watching people’s eyes slide up to look at my weird two-tone hair.

So now I am a white haired lady.

And I’m still surprised when I catch my reflection in shop windows.

And I’m not recognised by people who haven’t seen me since I was a brunette.

And now my hair matches the rest of me and I like it.

Reflecting on the dawning of a new year and the new white haired me I feel free. I recognise that for most of my career working in the male dominated world of technology I chose to stay small and tight in my chrysalis. I conformed to the norms of the office. I tried to bend my femininity out of shape to fit in, for my gender to not be an issue. I have too many #metoo stories to mention! But now the emergence of my white hair signals my emergence from the self-imposed darkness of my chrysalis into a new dawn of freedom and lightness where I am me and that’s ok.

And this means the beginning of other changes in 2018. I will be stepping away from working with my long-standing clients and beginning new work with clients involved in projects closer to nature where the focus is eco-centric rather than ego-centric.

And my daughter is thriving at University and has made amazing friends who appreciate her just as she is.

I know the cycle of darkness and dawn will continue and I will probably never get rid of feeling never good enough in my work and that’s part of me too just as much as my white hair. So now when people mention my white hair I just smile and say I’m letting my wisdom show through.

We have lift off!

Day 48 (Sunday 17th January 2016)

48 in Italian is slang for a shambles, or mess; to "succede un quarantotto" translates as
"it's going to turn into a forty-eight" but actually means "all Hell will break loose".
"Finire a carte quarantotto" means to go to the dogs or be ruined.
Painting: Gone To The Dogs by Michael Cheval

Jayne Cox, the author of today's post, is passionate about people and helping them to thrive "living life to the full and being happy"; she provides specialist coaching, supports stress management and is an Mind Fitness Trainer with a particular focus on supporting women. If you want to know more about her business check out her website Jayne Cox Consulting. She also runs a consultancy with her husband an AV specialist. Jayne is a brave lady who supports others from a space of personal knowledge and understanding, having walked her own dark path through eating disorders and self-loathing. Jayne lives near Bedford with her husband Michael, their doted on boxer (Daisy) a much loved pug (called Holly) and a collection of cats, hens and ducks. I love Jayne's joy in the life she has, the work she does and the friends she surrounds herself with. I met her via Social Media, but over the years we have got to know each other and she is a consistently caring and engaging member of my community (you can connect with her on Twitter, her handle is @JayneMCox).

------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you Kate for allowing me to join an amazing group of writers for your second year curating the wonderful advent blog series. I feel as if I’m sneaking in the back door as we now find ourselves in January and with the topic of ‘Coal Dust and Comet Tails’ which really did challenge my thinking.

Now I finally feel ready to release my thoughts so here goes...

Last year I watched in genuine awe and I’m not ashamed to say shed a tear, as 43 year-old Tim Peake launched into space aboard the Soyuz rocket. Chosen from 3,000 applicants and taking 7 years of preparation and rigorous training, what an achievement for what must be one of the fittest 40+ humans from earth and now living in space aboard the International Space-Station.

The Soviet Soyuz just happens to be 50 years old and had it’s first outing the year I was born, 1966. This spacecraft has launched Tim into the history books with the pride of a nation behind him all the way.

A combination of age and experience between them, 93 years to be precise, years that are respected and give them a well deserved badge of honour. The why behind this trust is quite simply that they are both tried and tested. How simply wonderful!

As an aside he seems a thoroughly nice chap and a courageous one. He’s not alone in his courage though, as we all face life’s peaks and troughs, our own tests and challenges and our own aborted missions and manual landings right here on earth.

Imagine if we looked upon age in ourselves and saw the very same awe we see in Tim. We all looked on age with this level of personal respect. If age was considered the university of life, knowledge and experience that can’t be gained any other way or fast tracked like so much of life these days.

My hope is we can look within ourselves and count our years as blessings.

So as I prepare to leave the launch pad of my 40’s I feel my own personal excitement of what to expect on my mission to 50 and far beyond. My feet may be firmly on the ground but my heart and my head often feel as if they are on the tail of a comet.

Absolutely there is coal dust coal but I always look forward to those heady flights.

Thank you major Tim and may you all fly your own comet tails this year.

Early "Happy Birthday" Jayne

Not all those who wander are lost

Day 15 (Tuesday December 15th 2015)

15 miles per hour (c 25 kph) is the swimming speed of a Gentoo penguin.
Generally larger species swim faster than smaller ones. Penguins reach their top speeds
when they are porpoising through the water (i.e leaping in the air while swimming).
There are 18 species of penguin. The Emperor is the largest standing at 4 feet and weighing 90 pounds;
the smallest is the Little Blue, which is 10 inches tall and weighs 2.5 pounds.

Today's piece is written by Peter Cook, it looks at the highs and lows of his career and the year just gone. As he mentions below, he has been in business for 21 years (working in Pharmaceuticals, Academia and Consulting), but his life is and always has been inspired and interlaced with music - especially rock music. If you get the chance to spend and evening with Peter, ideally with his guitar and a group of friends, I would urge you to join him - you will leave with a beaming grin. Peter writes his "musings" in an engaging blog as well as writing for Virgin and he has been invited to write a book this by a leading business book publisher, having self-published some popular volumes himself. He is an active participant on social media (follow him on Twitter via @AcademyOfRock or catch one of his rock interviews).

----------------------------------------------------------

I always enjoy the process of downloading what I’ve learned through the year with a view to uploading changes for the next year, finding the process cathartic and renewing. It’s one of the processes I’ve used for 21 years in business, mostly with my wife Alison, who patiently listens to the highs and lows of running a business. 

Mrs Cook is NOT like this

I’m convinced that the art of reflection, learning and adaptation is one of the most important rituals that have contributed to my personal resilience and longevity in a world where the half-life of most businesses is in free-fall. 

In recent times, I’ve been able to give Alison some respite from this reflective practice by sharing my hopes, fears, fantasies and nightmares in the full glare of the world. 

The process of downloading and uploading is a cathartic ritual that helps build an adaptive organisation, whether you are a small business or a large one.

Strategic Improvisation

My background as a scientist instilled curiosity and the understanding that most of life is a series of experiments.  It has been very good for my life as a musician and even better now we live in an age of disruptive change. In a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) business environment, life in a business requires perpetual change and experimentation to find new focal points. This is a subtle but important difference than a “random walk” which can leads to fad surfing and a lack of consolidation of your value. I’ve probably been involved in what I call “strategic improvisation” for at least 10 years, through one of the deepest recessions for many decades and, at last, some of the results are beginning to show from what I did when there was not much to do in terms of paid activity during those times.

Joining the dots

People tell me that much of my longevity as a business comes down to collaborations and connecting the dots between people, passions and purposes. After winning a prize from Sir Richard Branson, for my work on leadership, last year, this has flourished, through some deliberation and a bit of luck, into writing for Virgin, gaining an interview with Richard for my new book with Bloomsbury and, more recently running events, which blend business excellence with music in Branson’s Virgin Money Lounges, giving me the good fortune to work alongside Class A rock stars and discover their insights into business, life and the universe. I have also forged a partnership with the awesome Ted Coiné (awesome is not a word that I am drawn to as a Brit), but he does deserve this tag with his exclusive network Open for Business.

Restarting the engines

This year has finally been one when a number of businesses have started again to use the services of external people after many years of simply treading water whilst people halted projects or suspended the use of outside people to contain costs.  We’ve been fortunate to deliver a range of projects from HR reviews, facilitated strategy summits to leadership and innovation conferences for companies as diverse as FujiFilm, Pfizer, Roche, University College London, Bentley and MSD in the UK, Ireland, Italy, Greece, Denmark, Germany and Poland.

Private joys and public disappointments

I believe that we work best when we do what we love. In my case that means occasionally doing things that some people tell me are dream jobs. Amongst the private joys I’ve had in 2015, I’d mention these:

1. Taking Robert Peston to a P-Funk concert with George Clinton and subsequently writing him a song for his departure from the BBC in support of Cancer Research UK. Check “Pestonomics” out here:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nlsSrerFJM

2. Interviewing John Mayall, the Godfather of the Blues, Prince’s sax player, Marcus Anderson and Prince’s first lady, Sheila E, about flow, improvisation, music and a range of other topics. I was delighted to find that Sheila had read one of my books “Sex, Leadership and Rock’n’Roll” – just an incredible result from networking. Check Sheila’s interview out here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Xie7CKsIeg&list=PLQjcrZYLffOZ148fG1rMZEbzP3iLv-JBz

3. Performing on stage at London’s Borderline with Bernie Tormé, Ozzy Osbourne and Ian Gillan’s guitarist. Bernie was extremely kind in crediting me for having helped him restart his career, a great honour and a privilege for someone who takes no prisoners.  Here’s the 3 minute rehearsal:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U4oH1orxgE

4. The greatest love of all was recording four songs as a tribute to my good friend Bill Nelson, who has inspired the likes of Kate Bush, David Bowie, Brian Eno, Brian May. Bill has been a constant source of inspiration and wisdom for over 40 years of my life and remains to this day a permanent flame when the lights go out. Check out our song “Crying to the Sky” which was itself an homage to Jimi Hendrix and one of my earliest musical influences “Adventures in a Yorkshire Landscape”, written about Bill’s home area. Recording these songs was not an idle adventure. It introduced me to Robert Craven, Virgin author and business speaker, also a Bill Nelson nut.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUx-UpzjySQ&index=1&list=PLbZJMHvCba610gU9ET-D-tnx1WHUBQrXy

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiomazTrgaU&index=2&list=PLbZJMHvCba610gU9ET-D-tnx1WHUBQrXy

One big disappointment came via a small business owner who showed up in a Bentley to ask me for some friendly advice in transforming his career from a recruitment boss to a personal development speaker and author. After some analysis I told him that, whilst his transformation was not impossible, it would be a vertical climb from his current business and that he needed to operate from his existing expertise base as a recruitment business owner.

He said he was willing to do the work and I assisted with some mentoring to help him reach his goal. However, he had also approached a "branding and social media guru", who advised that there was a much easier way to achieve his transformation. She told him the answer lay in simply creating a website and a series of social media banners for his new enterprise. She also advised him to adopt the "spray and pray" approach to social media, buying Twitter followers, etc. He followed the “guru's advice” as it was easier but it didn’t work. Moreover shortly after his visit he told me that he had gone bankrupt and could not pay me for the work I’d done. Later on it turned out he was caught pimping his young girlfriend out at a hotel. I have never had a bad debt in 21 years, nor dealt with a man with a Bentley who turned out to be a charlatan. Well, we live and learn I guess!

Stranded Bentley

Hopes and fears

“I made it through the wilderness, yeah I made it through” – Madonna

Having come through the recession over 8 years, I come out of it having refined what I do, branded it, become much better networked and with a range of artefacts to show for my efforts, the most precious one of which is a major new book called “Leading Innovation, Creativity and Enterprise” for Bloomsbury.

Of course, I am 8 years older into the bargain and this occasionally worries me as young things can see such people as irrelevant in a workplace that values apps over application and wisdom. 

App-reciation

To survive in business in an adaptive environment requires improvisation, curiosity and the willingness to learn new things without becoming distracted by every shiny new thing that passes you by. As an improvising musician and scientist I feel up for the challenge. Tonight as I finish writing this I am off to the after party at the Assembly Halls in Tunbridge Wells with Mel C, Spike Edney from Queen, Graham Gouldman (10CC), Cheryl Baker (Bucks Fizz) and Madeleine Bell of Hot Chocolate, having just received a personal invite to the show from Patti Russo, Meatloaf’s singing partner. I was blessed to meet Patti on a pavement smoking a fag a year ago without having a clue who she was. She was kind enough to credit me as playing a part in her reinvention after Meatloaf gave up live performances. I guess this goes to show that being young at heart is what really counts and not all those that wander are lost …