How to lose hearts

Day 26 (Monday 26th December 2016)



26% of the Far North, the most pristine area of Australia's Great Barrier Reef 
has died. During 2016 the Reef suffered the worst bleaching on record. 
Scientists claim that the damage is caused by rising sea temperatures (in February, 
March and April, sea surface temperatures across the Great Barrier Reef were the 
hottest on record, at least 1C higher than the monthly average).

It is Boxing Day - a traditional time to sit, read something and reflect. I am sure that David D'Souza's post below will make you do just that - it should provoke thoughts, regardless of whether you manage people, work for others or just know people who fit into either camp. His piece has made me stop and contemplate how I work, what I do with and how I lead others and also to consider the approach of the wider business within which I sit. Are you aware of how you make others feel?

David is the Head of London and Head of Engagement (Branches) at the CIPD (Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development - the UK-based professional body for HR and people development with over 140,000 members). Previously he has worked within HR (with a strong bias towards learning and development) and has run his own consultancy. I am fortunate to have had him in my team and I can vouch for the fact that he is as values-driven, and family-orientated, as he comes across on social media. He is also a genuine polymath who can turn his hand and intellect to most things. He is a natural communicator and connector - you can meet and tweet with him on Twitter (his handle is @dds180) or else read his thought-provoking blog - 101 Half Connected Things or else his posts on LinkedIn.

David is a regular speaker at conferences and events, but just as impactful in a quiet one-to-one chat. He is a genuine, super-bright and awesome person. I am honoured to call him my friend.

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A Ten Step Guide to Losing Hearts in The Workplace

Rather than a deep confessional I wanted to give people something constructive for the New Year. A workplace guide to losing hearts and leaving people hollow. A 'How to' guide for anyone wishing to spend a year removing trust and destroying group dynamics, should you be so inclined. I've had a reasonably long career and I've worked with some experts in this field over the years. Their lessons stuck with me and my commitment to people being entitled to the opposite is one of the reasons I joined the CIPD.

Of course, if you wanted to avoid doing the things on this list you might find that, at the very least, you don't do bad things. People often say that 'not bad' isn't the same as 'good'. I'd agree, but sometimes 'not bad' is good enough. 

How to lose hearts:

1. Heroically take upon yourself the burden of the critical decisions and then get them wrong. Work with assumptions as if they are facts and LinkedIn quotes as if they are strategy.                                                                     
   
2. Lead so well no other voices can be heard or recognised. Become the only voice that matters in the organisation. Go big.                                            
   
3. Create a distance so great between your espoused values and your deeds that people point to it from afar as though it is a wonder of nature. They whisper in hushed tones in the corridors, they whisper of that gap. They marvel at your lack of realisation.                                                             
   
4. Involve people at the point their involvement is largely redundant and then rail at them for a lack of 'engagement'. Dictate the rules of engagement and then object to being called a dictator. Use an annual survey to indicate commitment to everyday involvement.                                                      
   
5. Keep your friends close and your budgets closer. Invest only in people and things that are conspicuous in their proximity to your world view. Create a comfort blanket of vanity projects and acolytes.                                         
   
6. Keep talking about not being able to be half on the bus - until only the people on the bus are the ones that aren't smart enough to challenge the destination and timetable (even though it makes no sense)                         
     
7. Pay no attention to the physical environment. People are lucky to have a building at all and if they were as good as you they'd get a nicer space to work in - with windows and a supportive chair and everything.                    
   
8. Communicate what you want to communicate or what people want to hear. Leave the trickier task of telling them what they need to hear for another day 
   
9. Make unfair reward your target. From exec pay down to saying "thank you", be selective, preferential and shun transparency. Tell yourself that if someone wouldn't object then you aren't making the tough decisions          
   
10. And finally, remember why you hired all those bright people: to make you feel good about taming their intellect and having them all agree with you.    
    

Even if it means the bright sparks within them no longer shine.

Kiss and Tell

The holiday period is pounding towards us, my timeline is full of people competing for the best dressed tree and so, not wishing to let the side down, my next few posts will have a seasonal twist...

I confess, I love Christmas: the sharing, smiles and sparkle, but I also find it a good time for contemplation.  There is much to be said for the ancient approach towards Yule with its focus on regrowth and renewal.  Long before we started competing for ownership of the most tastefully tinselled tree, evergreen branches were used to decorate homes, as a reminder that the days will lengthen, plants will sprout and crops will grow.  I tend not to make New Year’s resolutions, as I believe that positive change should not be limited to a once-a-year action, but I find the pictures of holly and mistletoe a good reminder of the need to renew bonds with colleagues and actively to reforge relationships with others if they have become strained due to the pressures of work earlier in the year.   I am writing this post on the day of Nelson Mandela’s funeral.  He is an excellent reminder to us all of the power of forgiveness and the potentially great outcomes that can be achieved through forging relationships, despite earlier tensions.

“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy.  Then he becomes your partner.”  Nelson Mandela

Exit interviews and research both show that the most common cause for people choosing to leave their job is a bad relationship with and lack of respect for their boss (http://businesspaths.net/Articles/12/people-quit-their-boss-not-their-job). Research also shows that January is the most popular month around the world for people to start looking for new opportunities (so if you have bridges to build, you’d better get a move on; there are only a few weeks of December left!).  Did you know that the average tenure of employment in the US is now 1.5 years?  It may be traditional to give valuable gifts at this time of year (gold, frankincense and myrrh spring to mind), but very few people choose to leave because of pay.  They go because of managers’ inability to engage with them.  There are not many of us who are happy to work without a sense of purpose - people need to appreciate the vision that the organisation is trying to achieve.  It’s not a budgeted profit number that inspires, it is the knowledge that what you do makes a difference and is worth striving for - vision fosters financials and not the other way round (http://www.forbes.com/sites/louisefron/2013/06/24/six-reasons-your-best-employees-quit-you/ ).  Clearly, in order for people to understand what they are doing and why, you need to communicate with them.  The simple act of speaking with the individuals in your team, understanding their points of view and taking time to explain your drivers, will do much to strengthen the relationship between you.  An empathetic and honest conversation goes a long way towards enabling trust and mutual respect.  The last factor that makes a difference to people is fun - humans are social and prefer to work in an enjoyable environment where they feel valued.  

Last week I took two of our London-based teams out, to celebrate the end of the year and to thank them for all they have done over the past twelve months.  Instead of just going for lunch, I planned an outing that would appeal to all of them.  I took them on a mystery trip, where we all took part in a game, that played to our strengths, before relaxing together over a meal.  I know that sounds a bit like HR-contrived-team-building.  However, I’m pleased to say that it didn’t feel like that.  We had fun, even those who don’t usually socialise got on well and everyone had a good time - lots to laugh about.   Two of the more junior team members clubbed together to buy me a personal thank you gift, which they left wrapped on my desk the following day.  I am touched and delighted that I made them feel special.  One person, a good worker who has been with the firm for seven years, commented that it was the first time that senior management had made an effort to make him feel valued - that is a sad statement.  Are there people in your organisation who would say the same?  What’s the risk to your business if you lose them?

We played HintHunt to unlock talent and enhance communication

We are all familiar with the workplace joke that employees are like mushrooms - kept in the dark and fed s@*t.  I think maybe we should view employees as Christmas mistletoe.  It will only grow on a thriving tree and, because it has leaves, it can create its own strength instead of being a dependent parasite.  The name mistletoe means “dung on a twig” (from the Anglo-Saxon “mistel” - “dung” and “tan” - “twig”) - if you don’t treat your employees with respect and communicate with them that is how they will feel and they will be likely to leave you.  The reason for the name is because the ancient Europeans believed that mistle thrush droppings miraculously transformed into the plant - they did not appreciate that the seeds were carried to trees by the birds.  As employment patterns change we increasingly will need to attract migrant skills to make our organisations stronger and to ensure that projects and objectives are achieved.

   

Mistletoe growing on an apple tree

We kiss under mistletoe because of ancient Norse beliefs.  In brief, the goddess Frigga’s beautiful son, Baldur, was killed by a spear made of mistletoe - a wicked trick by another god, Loki.  A hero was appointed to ride to Hel (the place for dead souls not killed in battle) to bring him back.  Baldur’s return was agreed on condition that all living things wept for him.  They did but there was one exception, a giantess (whom many believe was Loki in disguise), she shed no tears and hence Baldur had to remain in Hel.  To make amends in a difficult situation, Frigga decreed that going forwards mistletoe should bring love and not death to the world.  Any two people meeting under mistletoe should lay down their arms and embrace in memory of Baldur.  It is an easy step from this to the modern habit. In the past it was thought that each berry was one of Frigga’s tears and, in many places, you had to pluck a berry off the shrub each time you kissed - when there were no more berries there was no longer an excuse to kiss.  It is more probable that the reason mistletoe is connected with kissing and uninhibited erotic/sexual abandon is due to its ancient use as a preventative for pregnancy.  It was also valued for its ability to remain verdant during the winter, despite not being rooted in the soil, when the trees on which it grew appeared to be dead.  In Celtic mythology mistletoe was loved for its vibrant growth during harsh times and also for the fact that the branch, traditionally cut to decorate the home over Yule, was retained and gradually turned golden in colour over the following year (hence the “golden bough”).  I like the symbolism of it being able to enrich the home as time passes, as well as the immediate joy it can bring.

This print shows Loki guiding the blind god Hother to kill Balder
with a branch of mistletoe. (from an 18th century Icelandic manuscript)

Take mistletoe as a source of inspiration: I’m not espousing physically embracing your colleagues, but communicate with them, value them for who they are and what they bring.  Take advantage of the next few weeks to “kiss and make up”, so to speak - build bridges and strengthen relationships.  We rely on those around us and they are the secret to a golden future.

by Lois Wain