The blog that it became!

Day 47 (Monday 16th January 2017)

47% of UK children eat confectionary at least once a day, only 1 in 10
has 5 portions of fruit and 20% have no fresh fruit or vegetables
at all on a daily basis. Nearly 40% of Millennials surveyed my Mintel said
 that cereal was inconvenient for breakfast, because they had to
wash up after eating it. Less than 60% of suppers in the UK were
cooked at home last year, compared to 75% 30 years ago. A 2014 survey
by Braun found that 82% of parents used to do household chores
when young, but of those parents, only 28% of them required their children to do chores.

Today is my father's 86th birthday. Yesterday my sons and I went to a Burgundy and Bangers party that he hosted for 28 friends. Great fun. I'm looking forward to next year's event and hope that he has a brilliant day today.

Denise Sanderson-Estcourt, the author of today's post, is an HR, OD and Learning specialist, working at the Royal College of Physicians. Denise describes her interests as Family, Fashion, Faith and Football. She is been a fearless campaigner, raising awareness of and funds for breast cancer, and has even been a glamorous Calendar Girl for the cause. She is also a fashion stylist and image consultant with her own business, Damson Belle - advising individuals on colour, style and cut (hair and outfits) to ensure that they look and feel their best. She is a loving and proud mother of a gorgeous son. Denise is an active blogger with various sites to cover her interests - work, fashion, and health. She lives in London. 

She is active on social media, you can follow her on Twitter (her handle is @DamsonHR).

**************************************

The blog that it became!

This is not the blog I'd intended to share. That one (drafted weeks ago) will for now, remain a long, disjointed reflective letter to self.

Instead this is the blog I can write right now. The one that I feel I can share, that talks about where I'm at in this moment.

Writing about the highs and the heart stuff wasn't that much of an issue.

At work, we've had a focus on celebrating success, so thinking about work highs (brand, putting OD on the map, some great training organised and training delivered that was well received) was no issue.

Thinking about life's highs was also a nice experience - the family holiday, re-learning how to ride a bike, most of the time with my son (parenting isn't always a joy!) and seeing the lantern exhibition - an unexpired pleasure, with said son,  would all be on the list. Such things also speak to the 'heart' bit - family time, downtime, fun time, bright things, learning and creativity for example.

Magic Lantern Festival at Chiswick House, West London

The writing about the "hollows" however was a different story - as a usually open person, the block felt like an odd, self-challenging situation. Somehow I just can't get the words around that theme so as to make sense from my head to the page. In truth, I'm not yet brave enough to go into the memory of the heavy hollows that I found myself in last year.

I've struggled therefore to write on all three aspects of the title (and that was feeling like a bit of a cop-out to me), and so I nearly submitted nothing at all.

But thanks to kindness and patience from Kate and a bit of a talking to (by me from me), here I am, sharing something written on a long train journey home.

The hollows piece may show up at some point, but for now I'll just share what I knew was the summary point of my previous attempts to write on the hollows part of the original blog:

• Sometimes your heights are swiftly followed by your hollows - I think to keep you grounded.

• Sometimes your hollows lead you to heights (of sorts!) for example how, for me, attending a funeral last year lead to reconnecting with much loved but long (emotionally) lost family.

• Sometimes your hollows lead you to your heart's needs and dreams and other such things.

• Sometimes your hollows lead to you seeking help and finding the heart in others.

• But always, always the heart will get you through the hollows and to your heights, if you'll go with it.

So there you have it.

The blog that wasn't going to be is now this blog, you see!

And finally, the lesson for me in finally submitting this is...

Doing something over nothing = Feeling like a failure averted!

A place in your heart

Day 13 (Tuesday 13th December 2016)

13 days - the amount of time it took in 1962 to defuse the Cuban Missile Crisis.
 Fidel Castro was instrumental in pushing the world to the brink of nuclear war.
(Russian leader Khrushchev wanted to install Soviet R-12 MRBM nuclear
missiles on Cuba to even the power balance with America.)
Castro died on 25th November 2016 aged 90.

Have you noticed how many of this year's writers have made observations on society or expressed gratitude for something or someone? The thankful post below is written by the delightful and self-effacing Fiona McBride. I have known Fiona for a number of years, we first met face-to-face when she was just setting up her own business. After graduating from Brighton, Fiona commenced her career in HR and was the People Development specialist at the RNIB before founding her own learning and development consultancy. She is a highly supportive and active member of the HR community, both on social media (her Twitter handle is @fionamcbride) and IRL. She is great at organising events and meet/tweet-ups. She became Vice Chair of the Central London Branch of the CIPD in June of this year.

Fiona is one of the key people at the forefront of Emotion at Work - founded by Phil Willcox. She believes in authenticity and recognising that emotions are a powerful part of what makes us human, both in and outside work. Fiona is married to Mark and they live in west London. Fiona is fun and social - a woman of many talents ranging from baking and cocktail making, to playing a mean game of Scrabble or helping others feel good about themselves and their capabilities.

***********************************

A place in your heart 

I know my family love me and that they have a special place in their hearts for me. I’ve known that all my life, I feel lucky to have that. However, what I didn't bank on, was meeting pretty much by chance some wonderful people, who I now call friends (some of you are even reading this). These people are generous and caring and I treasure the fact that they, without being related to me, have also given me a place in their heart.

This year has had its ups and downs. Both personal and work related highs and lows.

I've had moments of amazing success and moments of despairing sadness and grief.

There were times when I struggled to keep a place in my own heart for myself.

Do you know what I’ve noticed as I reflect back over this year? Those colleagues and friends who I’ve become closer to in the past twelve months, the place they gave me in their heart has never changed.

I'm still there… taking up that little bit of space… that they gave me. How precious, generous and amazing is that..?

I was trying to work out examples, what does this look and sound like.. but it's so so many things. It’s laughs, trust, working well together, listening and hugs, it's advice and challenge, smiles and more hugs. It's a feeling I get, where I don't feel judged. I feel friendship and cared for and kindness… it feels from the heart.

It provides me with such comfort and warmth, knowing.. knowing that you want me there, that you trust me and believe in me to give me that little bit of space…

If I could ever find a way to express to you how much that means to me I promise you’ll be the first to know. Because there are no words, or at least I don't feel there are enough words to convey that feeling I get from you all.

So for now I’m just left with: Thank you

Thank you for that place in your heart.

“Sometimes the heart knows things the mind could never explain” (Ranjeet)

Full Circle

I have had an amazing week, seeing and participating in events that have really made me think.  Outside work, I’ve enjoyed an excellent cream tea and listened to two world leaders discussing Africa at Ashridge; I have seen the Royal Shakespeare Company’s (RSC’s) production of Wolf Hall; attended the Deutsche Women in European Business Event:  Impact: Be the inspiration; and watched the final night of HEART by Zendeh, before going out to dinner with a wonderful couple - the creative set designer and her artisan cheese-maker husband - and their friends. Certain significant themes have entwined and enlightened in each of the above events, including: 

• Inspiration;
• leadership;
• the importance of detail;
• conviction;
• obsession;
• betrayal;
• control;
• getting things done in difficult circumstances;
• love;
• repercussions;
• nationhood; and
• diversity.

Last Monday I was honoured to be amongst the people invited to listen to former South African President, F.W. de Klerk, and Dr. Nkosana Moyo, erstwhile VP and COO of the African Development Bank and founder and Executive Chairman of the Mandela Institute for Development Studies (MINDS). Encouraged by Kai Peters, Chief Executive of Ashridge, both men discussed their thoughts and memories of the past and future of Africa – most specifically South Africa and Zimbabwe. Both men were candid about their perceptions and beliefs surrounding the end of Apartheid – Dr Moyo challenged ex-President de Klerk for belatedly fighting to bring an end to the former regime, only once it was clear that the “White community realised that what they had was not sustainable”, and that it was “smart to pre-empt the inevitable”.

Paul Coen, Kai Peters, Dr Nikosana Moyo and F. W. de Klerk at Ashridge

For a while it seemed as though there were going to be fisticuffs, but both men came to an area of common ground based on the importance of values and the significant opportunities for Africa going forwards. President de Klerk stressed that his insistence on a constitution and a constitutional court have been instrumental in ensuring on-going stability in South Africa and that he acted as a true leader, even though much of what he was proposing at the time was unpopular (indeed, in 1992, he lost enough bi-elections that he was under pressure to call an election, but instead called a referendum, in order to validate support for his vision of “totally abandoning separateness and embracing togetherness”, and to maintain the momentum of change). Mr de Klerk acknowledged that the timing of world events proved fortuitous for him when he was trying to introduce change – specifically, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the elections for independence in Namibia and troops coming out of Angola – they all helped make change in South Africa easier to effect.

F. W. de Klerk ready to talk with Dr Moyo at Ashridge

Both men advocated against political leaders espousing policies simply to ensure popularity – as de Klerk stated - it is a leader’s role to convince people to follow his/her lead, instead of advocating a route and formulating statutes based on the simple tenet that they will appeal to the electorate – “don’t just feed back what the poles say. That’s not leadership.”  Both stated in different ways that they believed that the Western World does not have the leadership it deserves and that if the leaders of a nation allow “everyone to have a voice it is un-leadable”. However, that is not to say that an inclusive approach is undesirable, simply that there has to be direction and at times tough decisions have to be made.

Another point raised is that it is probable that going forward South Africa will be run by coalitions (as the ANC “must split” due to the conflicting viewpoints within the party – an uncomfortable mix of communists and socialists as well as those who support the commercial market). Both men commented on the difference between modernisation and westernisation – the uptake of mobile usage and the impact that connectivity is having, in areas where infrastructure has traditionally been poor, is being felt. Both expressed concern that in post colonial and Apartheid countries, local people still need to learn how to run substantial businesses – just because you like flying does not mean that you are fit to direct an airline. People need to have the appropriate training and knowledge to do their jobs.  Emulating the ways of the past is unlikely to lead to success in the future, but experience is growing. In the modern world there needs to be “confident black management and leadership” – some hard lessons have been learned, such as not “paying in the wrong currency”

Perhaps one of the most interesting aspects of the discussion was the debate over the type of leadership that is culturally appropriate in a specific country or region. It was mooted that the US and British forms of democracy need to be modified to be effective in Africa; there should be some accommodation of local culture and traditions.  Dr Moyo used the typically consultative approach of the Sub-Saharan region to illustrate why he believes that this is so – in the southernmost countries of Africa, it is traditional for the leader of a tribe to deliberate and discuss options with tribal elders, prior to making a decision on behalf of the community (Nelson Mandela writes about this in his book Long Walk to Freedom). Having grown up in Asia and worked in the Middle East, I concur that there are different approaches towards leadership and local/national governance that are hard-wired into a society. For political empowerment to be effective and leadership to be successful, they need to operate within the norms of the area in which they are established. When the populace of a nation become disillusioned with the politics and politicians of a region then the electorate become disengaged. The poor/falling electoral turnouts in the UK and Europe since 1979, indicate apathy and disconnection. People do not value the power of their vote, as they see it, or the function of the to-be elected representatives for whom they could vote, as irrelevant.

In the week of the 25^th anniversary of Tianamen Square, I find it sad that people feel their voice is worthless. All great change has required support (and appropriate adoption) to cement it into society. At the Deutsche “Women in European Business” Event, 2000 attendees at the Barbican in London roared their approval for other women’s achievements. Joanna Lumley’s explanations, as to how she engaged people with the Gurkhas’ cause and is now campaigning for a Garden Bridge across the Thames in London to be designed by Thomas Heatherwick, were inspirational, as were the comments by the panel, in particular Ann Cairms of MasterCard who has successfully moved from the Energy sector to run an increasingly more ethically minded Financial Services business.

Proposed design for the Garden Bridge by Thomas Heatherwick

The power of women was also exemplified in the excellent RSC production of Wolf Hall – it is the story of Thomas Cromwell, set in the time when Henry VIII wished to divorce his first wife of nearly 20 years, because he was captivated by Anne Boleyn and desperate to produce a male heir. Cromwell – the son of a humble blacksmith and a one-time mercenary, lawyer, astute politician and devoted family man - exemplifies support for a leader as well as demonstrating an awe-inspiring ability to pursue and achieve his own agenda. Wolf Hall, the play is full of intrigue, betrayal, obsession and momentous repercussions – a superb production. Henry VIII was a wilful and erratic monarch – decisions often made with apparent spontaneity, depending on who had influence over him at any time, but the consequences of his leadership are huge and still have an impact on our modern world - the Anglican church, the monarchy and resultant colonial legacy, that was to commence in earnest during the reign of his daughter. I am off to see the second play “Bring Up The Bodies” in what is in effect a double bill – I shall say no more about either here as I am sure more comments will follow.

Courtly dancing at Wolf Hall

And finally…my trip to HEART, brought my week full circle – the play is set in the early 1950’s, at the time of the Mordad coup (so called Operation Boot, a plot to overthrow the Iranian Prime Minister orchestrated by the UK and USA) Despite having just privatised coal and rail in the UK, the British and Americans did not support the Iranian government’s plans to nationalise their oil industry and took drastic measures to try to protect their interests. I was particularly captivated in this story, as my paternal grandfather was a “wildcatter” in the region early last century, discovering oil for what ultimately became the Anglo Iranian Oil Company (the very entity that the Iranian government wished to nationalise in 1952). My father was born in Persia/Iran and for me, the play taught me about my roots, I loved the Farsi singing and poetry as well as broader political and philosophical matters. In addition to being a complex reflection on nationhood and control, the play was a triangular love story founded on concepts of devotion, obsession and duty. The difference in attitude between Western and Middle Eastern society was a powerful theme and not dissimilar to the cultural issues raised by Dr Moyo and former President de Klerk at the start of my week. Like the inside of a pomegranate, there is complexity, individuality and distinct sections to be found within each country, business or relationship, even when concealed behind what seems to be a simple and unified exterior.

I found it interesting that each event I attended seemed to raise and discuss similar themes. From intimate political discussions, through well-attended conferences to superb dramatic productions, the sessions demonstrated the power and influence of leadership and following. Like lovers, true leaders have conviction and can inspire others to take actions that they would be unlikely to do in isolation. We need to be mindful of cause and effect and be aware of the impact we ourselves can and do have on those around us - we must "be the inspiration".