A place in your heart

Day 13 (Tuesday 13th December 2016)

13 days - the amount of time it took in 1962 to defuse the Cuban Missile Crisis.
 Fidel Castro was instrumental in pushing the world to the brink of nuclear war.
(Russian leader Khrushchev wanted to install Soviet R-12 MRBM nuclear
missiles on Cuba to even the power balance with America.)
Castro died on 25th November 2016 aged 90.

Have you noticed how many of this year's writers have made observations on society or expressed gratitude for something or someone? The thankful post below is written by the delightful and self-effacing Fiona McBride. I have known Fiona for a number of years, we first met face-to-face when she was just setting up her own business. After graduating from Brighton, Fiona commenced her career in HR and was the People Development specialist at the RNIB before founding her own learning and development consultancy. She is a highly supportive and active member of the HR community, both on social media (her Twitter handle is @fionamcbride) and IRL. She is great at organising events and meet/tweet-ups. She became Vice Chair of the Central London Branch of the CIPD in June of this year.

Fiona is one of the key people at the forefront of Emotion at Work - founded by Phil Willcox. She believes in authenticity and recognising that emotions are a powerful part of what makes us human, both in and outside work. Fiona is married to Mark and they live in west London. Fiona is fun and social - a woman of many talents ranging from baking and cocktail making, to playing a mean game of Scrabble or helping others feel good about themselves and their capabilities.

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A place in your heart 

I know my family love me and that they have a special place in their hearts for me. I’ve known that all my life, I feel lucky to have that. However, what I didn't bank on, was meeting pretty much by chance some wonderful people, who I now call friends (some of you are even reading this). These people are generous and caring and I treasure the fact that they, without being related to me, have also given me a place in their heart.

This year has had its ups and downs. Both personal and work related highs and lows.

I've had moments of amazing success and moments of despairing sadness and grief.

There were times when I struggled to keep a place in my own heart for myself.

Do you know what I’ve noticed as I reflect back over this year? Those colleagues and friends who I’ve become closer to in the past twelve months, the place they gave me in their heart has never changed.

I'm still there… taking up that little bit of space… that they gave me. How precious, generous and amazing is that..?

I was trying to work out examples, what does this look and sound like.. but it's so so many things. It’s laughs, trust, working well together, listening and hugs, it's advice and challenge, smiles and more hugs. It's a feeling I get, where I don't feel judged. I feel friendship and cared for and kindness… it feels from the heart.

It provides me with such comfort and warmth, knowing.. knowing that you want me there, that you trust me and believe in me to give me that little bit of space…

If I could ever find a way to express to you how much that means to me I promise you’ll be the first to know. Because there are no words, or at least I don't feel there are enough words to convey that feeling I get from you all.

So for now I’m just left with: Thank you

Thank you for that place in your heart.

“Sometimes the heart knows things the mind could never explain” (Ranjeet)

Beyond Compare

Day 14 (Monday 14th December 2015)

14 is the average number of times a person passes wind each day. A typical fart is made of: 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, 4% oxygen and 1% hydrogen sulphide. 
Termites produce more farts than any other creature on earth (due to their woody diet)
collectively it is estimated that they are responsible for 11% of global methane emissions. 
Herring (a type of ocean living fish) break wind to communicate with each other, but a human
Scuba diver is unlikely to pass gas at 33 feet or below as the elements that
form farts are likely to remain in solution within the bloodstream.
Illustration: Medieval Bestiary (De Natura Animalium), Cambrai, 1270

I am delighted to introduce you to Fiona McBride, this is her first ever blog and it is a privilege to be the host for such wonderful new writing. I met Fiona via Twitter (her handle is @fionamcbride) and then in person at a CIPD event in West London, at a time when she was considering leaving the Royal National Institute for the Blind, where she was a specialist in people development, and establishing her own business. She is now a successful consultant, with a focus on learning and development. When not helping people and organisations to thrive, Fiona enjoys being out and about with friends and family. She married Mark in August 2013 and they live in Chiswick to the West of London.

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I read blogs with awe... how the blogs flow, the lovely style of the writing and journey they take me on is breathtaking. I have never felt I could contribute to such a wonderful pool of intelligent and insightful thinking. But the thing is, I’ve started to feel like I want to.

It has been the strongest feeling... almost like a physical pull on me. It’s been on my mind frequently for quite a while. The desire to engage my brain in a new way, by doing something different and challenging.

But you see.. now we have a problem.  In my head this conversation happens…

Me: ohhh.. I wonder if maybe I should ask to contribute to Advent Blogs this year?

Internal Voice: Sure, but can you produce a blog as insightful and interesting as the other contributors?

Me: Well.. umm.. I’ve never been a ‘good’ writer.. it doesn’t come naturally to me…

Internal voice: Exactly, you couldn’t produce something half as good as all the people who contribute now. The standard is so high.

Me: That’s true.. I’ll leave it for now then.. maybe next year…

I compare. I make comparisons. All the time. Those comparisons make me feel bad about myself.  When I read the theme for this years’ Advent Blogs it shouted at me. For me it was a comparison.

Comet Tails = good

Coal Dust = bad

Without me even trying I had applied my ‘comparing’ thoughts to the wonderful Advent Blogs. All the great bloggers are shiny, fast moving beautiful comet tails.

I can’t even begin to try and join in with those amazing writers.

I feel bad.

Here’s my secret, feeling bad about myself so often is a tiring thing….

“You’ll never write a blog as succinctly as she has…”

“You’ll never be able to ask an insightful question as he does..”

“You’ll never be respected for your professional opinion as much as they are..”

Truthfully, I’m tired of feeling tired. I am tired of making comparisons and feeling bad.

I heard a quote a little while ago:

‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ (T.Roosevelt)

I haven’t been able to shake the quote from my head.. it was powerful and it has triggered something for me.

Looking back over 2015 I have been so very lucky to have spent time talking with and working with some amazing people. Those people are all shiny, fast moving beautiful comets. They have given me their time, insight, ideas, support and friendship. Some have challenged me and helped me grow.

I am so very grateful for that and I have decided I don’t want to lose the joy I get from them by comparing all the time.