When I was a little
girl I lived in Wimbledon. We had a modern
house with a wonderful garden. My
cousins and I spent hours building camps in the rough scrub and climbing the
cedar tree – its branches were easy to scale, almost like a ladder, and wide
enough to lie on (provided that you didn’t wriggle too much). Nothing grew under the cedar, its aromatic
scent filled the air and the ground was covered in its fine pine needles which
produced a crumbly soil, easy to dig into. One year, when my sisters were very young, a delightful
Swiss au pair girl came to stay; she was with us to help my mother, whilst
improving her English. I liked her a
lot - she was fun and caring and we soon developed a strong bond, playing hide
and seek in the garden, making things together and I even helped her with the
housework.
Now, being a parent
myself, I can sympathise with my mother, who was newly out of hospital after a
particularly gruelling caesarean. She
was short tempered and easily roused to extremely vocal outbursts of anger and
frustration. Both the au pair and I were
quite nervous of her. My mother was (and
is) a wonderful cook and she had a few unusual kitchen gadgets to help her. One of these was a “cream maker” – a small hand-plunger
operated device that re-amalgamated butter and milk to make cream. It was made of sky blue and white plastic and
my mother was very pleased with it.
After each use it had to be carefully dismantled and washed. One piece, like a tiny white Enoki mushroom, acted
as the lynch pin, connecting the pump handle to the main device. After lunch one day, the au pair put all the
cream maker pieces in a washing up bowl and, when she had finished cleaning
them, she tipped the sudsy water down the drain. It was only when she and I commenced
reconstructing the appliance that we discovered that the vital connecting pin
had been flushed away. We were horrified
and knew that my mother’s wrath would be fearful. In panic we placed the remaining pieces in a
plastic bag and buried them in the soft soil under the cedar tree. We hoped to
buy ourselves some time to source a replacement piece, by ensuring that the
Cream Maker was out of sight and hence hopefully out of mind. We failed to secure a replacement (we had to
buy a whole new one) and I suspect that the original cream maker is still in
its shallow grave. With hindsight, we
could have created a replacement piece from a paperclip and hence not lost the
ability to make cream. Mind you, my
mother would still have been angry, even if we had repaired the cream maker
with an ingenious solution.
The au pair and my
reactions were very human. We wanted to
avoid having a difficult conversation and we concealed the problem in an
attempt to ensure calm. At work people
often adopt a similar approach, either ignoring or concealing undesirable occurrences
and behaviours. In a previous post, just
after last year’s English riots, I talked about the impact of the “herd
mentality” that discourages individuals from speaking out against the majority
view (http://www.kategl.blogspot.co.uk/2011_08_01_archive.html). I
noted that the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster could have been avoided if
some individuals had stood their ground against the commercial view. People
not speaking out usually occurs when people desire to conceal an issue that
could impact on their own personal gain, despite having a moral duty to do so (as
occurred in the Challenger incident and this is also one of the main themes of
Arthur Miller’s play “All My Sons”) or out of a reluctance to share something
that an individual fears will be ill-received (it took Darwin twenty years to
publish “The Origin of Species” and some people say that this is due to a
reluctance to upset his wife and/or to face ridicule and criticism from Society).
So called Doubting Thomases can thwart
innovation – the inventor of photocopying, Chester Carlson, invented the
process in his spare time in 1938, but it took him ten years to find a company prepared
to turn his invention into a commercial product.
Often over the course
of the past week, I have contemplated how people respond to errors and things
that we find unappealing. I saw an
excellent and moving production of “The Suit” at the Young Vic. In the dusty heat of a 1950s South African
township a husband finds his wife in bed with her lover. The man escapes leaving behind his suit. The husband then insists that the suit is treated
as an honoured guest and member of their household. The public humiliation of his wife, their sad
attempts to maintain a normal marital facade and the husband’s final remorse,
when it is too late to rectify things, is heartbreaking. As was the backdrop and brutality of
apartheid. Despite the fact that we all
learn from making initial mistakes and slowly improving – look at how we learn
to walk or read - as we age we become less supportive of experiential learning
and hence of potential innovation and resolution.
Earlier this week I
took a friend to see the filmed version of National Theatre’s production of
Frankenstein with Benedict Cumberbatch as the Creature and Jonny Lee Millar as
the Doctor. Prior to the actual film, there
was an introduction in which Cumberbatch explained how he had studied stroke
victims to learn how they regained the ability to walk, whilst Lee Miller had
learned much from observing his young son becoming mobile and, sponge-like, absorbing
information about the world around him.
Both were inspired to create their performances of the Creature’s birth
and learning to move and the outcomes were amazing. I had seen the staged version of Frankenstein
at the National Theatre last year and I was nervous about whether it would
translate to film – actually in many ways it provided the best from both media
to maximise impact. If you can, I urge
you to see it.
One of the themes in “Frankenstein”
is the Creature’s desire for companionship and Frankenstein’s aspiration to improve
on his prototype, because he is ashamed by the appearance of his Creature. Why do many adults today, especially in
Western society, seem unwilling to show and share something marvellous that they
have created? I suspect it is because they
anticipate ridicule or worse, especially if their initial effort is functional
but not attractive. By being scared of disseminating
fresh knowledge (and hence seeking to perpetuate the established ways of doing
things) we lose out. Often the initial
iterance or the solution produced is quite ugly, but the thought and effort
that has gone into its production should be lauded.
In Japan there is the
practice of “Kintsugi” (golden joinery) – i.e. mending broken objects and
deliberately making a feature of the damage by filling the cracks with
gold. There is a belief that when
something has suffered and been damaged it has a history and hence it becomes
more beautiful. According to legend, the
practice commenced in the fifteenth century when a shogun tried to repair a
Chinese teapot. He wanted a more aesthetically pleasing effect than traditional
repairs that tried to conceal what was perceived as unsightly cracks and chips. The gold celebrates the effort that has gone
into the repairs, makes a feature of the history and patterns and increases the
value of what were once mundane objects.
We can all learn from this approach and should consider applying it in
both our work and private lives – not just to enhance cracked plates but also
to acknowledge people.
Back to the burial of
the cream maker...we hid it because we were afraid of the reaction the loss of
the little pin would provoke. Much in
the same way that employees will try to disguise mistakes when they work in a “fear
and blame culture”. If we had
anticipated a different response from my mother it is probable that our
behaviour would have been different, to the benefit of all. She might have been understanding and have praised
us for providing an innovative solution - the cream maker would have been that
bit more valued in all of our eyes because, by mending it, we would have shown
that we cared and that we knew how much she appreciated it. Perhaps I should go and dig it up...
Love that concept/practice of Kintsugi - I hadn't heard of it before. There's something in there for me about how we often try to make (& perhaps) expect damaged things to be "fixed". Feels more wholesome to recognise what's been done, hold the right intent and help turn the damage into something beautiful. A philosophy that perhaps more people & workplaces would benefit from...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I was thinking about our reactions to imagined reactions and how we too often hide our own creations. Isn't it funny how these behaviours are connected and the only difference between the words "reaction" and "creation" is the placement of a "c"! Coincidence I know but perhaps every time we react we need to think about what we creat(e) and vice-versa?
Very neat piece of wordplay and observation - the link between creation and reaction (wish I was clever enough to have thought of that).
ReplyDeleteYou are so right that we should consider what we might be creating, before reacting, as well as not assuming a response from others and letting that deter us from sharing.
Glad Kintsugi struck a chord, if you'll excuse the pun, it's more than it's cracked up to be.