Heights, Hearts and Hollows

Day 41 (Tuesday 10th January 2017)



41% spike in hate crimes motivated by race or religion, occurred in the UK
following the EU referendum. Home Office dat shows a marked increase of more
than 2/5ths in July 2016 compared to July 2015. This appears to be linked to a
rise in anti-immigration sentiment, although it is also possible that the increase is
due in part to victims being more inclined to contact the police to report
crimes than perhaps they would have in 2015.

On this day in 1920 the League of Nations was founded as a result of the Paris Peace Conference that ended World War One. In many ways, this seems apt given that today's writer is, in my and many people's minds, a true global citizen who wants a better world for all. Trevor Black, the author of today's post, is an inspirational man. He is academically gifted, having qualified as an actuary before becoming valued as a talented portfolio manager and financial analyst, working both in South Africa and Europe. He then made a conscious decision to leave the financially rewarding environment of corporate life to pursue his passions. He is artistic and creative - I have enjoyed attending art exhibitions and admiring his highly textured oils; his writing speaks for itself. Trevor writes a daily blog on happiness and learning Swartdonkey which has occasional guest posts. He is gathering stories from people he knows and meets about how to overcome obstacles to creativity and composing his own.

Trevor was born and raised in South Africa, but now he lives in the beautiful Cotswolds in the UK. As well as being active and mindful (diet, yoga, and attitude are important to him), he is curious and a thinker. The main themes he is interested in and writes about are: 

• Universal Basic Income
• Global Citizen
• Guest Posts
• Exercise
• Diet
• Breathing
• Relaxation
• Positive Thinking
• Flow
• Relationships

You can follow him on Twitter (his handle is @trevorblack) 

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“Heights, Hearts and Hollows”

We are forgetful. I often need, and find, reminding just how fragile life is. Reminding how much care we need to put into the things that matter to us. Being forgetful helps focus our attention. We can’t worry about everything, and still do anything worthwhile. Understanding how we function can give the perspective needed to make sure we don’t wander off, and forget the things that matter. Daniel Kahneman talks about our Experiencing and Remembering selves. We experience each moment, if we are paying attention, but we tend to remember according to the Peak-End rule. The heights the experience reached and the way it concluded. We don’t add, or average, each and every moment. The story we live, and the story we lived hold each other with a light touch.

Like a delicate path of breadcrumbs as we wander into the unknown, our hearts provide the connections back to what matters. 

Edward Colarik Hearts Sculpture Blue

We remember things that have meaning to us. We create that meaning by caring. We are trigger happy. If we have an emotional response to something – anger, humour, disgust, and love – it forges a link to other memories. 

The more connections of the heart we make, the less likely we are to get lost as strange beasts of the night nibble away at the tasty morsels we have left behind.

The real flavour of life can lie in the hollows. Hidden from the easy path. The cavities, craters, caves and crannies caused by the drama and pain we encounter. If we share our struggles with others, they add depth to those connections.  Then each struggle adds a layer of strength that increases our capacity to engage the unknown. Each struggle overcome builds our confidence.

Sir Edward Coley Burne-Jones, Bt, 'Sisyphus', Tate

Our Experiencing and Remembering selves weave through the heights, hearts and hollows of our story. The more that story is shared, the more flavour lingers on the air connecting each bite we take.

Hand loomed, Persian Tree of Life tapestry

Lest we forget

Day 6 (Tuesday 6th December 2016)

6 number one hits - Bon Jovi proved their enduring ability to 

entertain when their latest album "This House Is Not For Sale"

(the Group's 13th studio album, released November 4th 2016) reached

top spot on the Billboard 200. The band were formed in 1983 and play 

Hard, Pop and Arena Rock and Glam Metal.

Today's piece is a sober read from Alan Gilmour, which touches on one of humanity's hollows. It puts many things in perspective and it certainly made me think. Alan's writing does that. Alan has a day job as Head of Acquisition and Retention for the Police Mutual, but since he last contributed to the Advent Series he has taken up a not-for-profit Non-executive Directorship with BCRS Business Loans - an organisation that provides money for SMEs who struggle to access funds through traditional banking channels. 

Alan is a delightful and broad thinker - he studied Chinese History at Glasgow, long before China had risen to its position of global prominence and has an MBA from Aston. I am one of many who enjoy Alan's company, debate and engaging/thought-provoking opinions. You can follow Alan on Twitter (his handle is @alan_gilmour) or read his (sporadic) personal blogging.

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Lest we forget  

So what moved me in 2016?

An interesting question for a dour Scot. As a race we are not easily moved. Life is easier that way.

But this year while idly gazing at a board which listed the Head Boys at a local school, I noticed something that achieved this rare feat.

For on the list was one K.R. Owen, Head Boy in 1913.

I know nothing of this individual or his family or his circumstances.

Maybe I should.

But what caught my eye was the next board. A list of all those who gave their lives in the Great War.

And there was the name, K.R.Owen, again. Killed in action in 1916.

In the space of 3 years this boy had grown into a man and become a memory.

Tragic.

A member of the Army Chaplains' Department (AChD) tending
a soldier's grave during the Battle of the Somme, July 1916. © IWM 

Every day I, like many others in business, spend time poring over numbers and spreadsheets and PowerPoint decks with statistics, charts and graphs.

Every day we obsess about sales, income, costs, FTEs, profit, capital, assets, liabilities, and many more numbers. These are the heartbeat of business.

School boys being taught about Zeppelins 1916

But as we say goodbye to 2016, a year that remembered that the 100^th anniversary of the Battle of the Somme, here are the numbers that really matter.

Numbers that should give us a real sense of perspective.

141 days. 420,000 British casualties. 127,000 British dead, 19,000 on day one alone.

Plus many more hundreds of thousands German, French and British Commonwealth casualties.

And if we include the families, millions of people seriously impacted by the events of those 141 days on the Somme.

Like a ripple across a pond.

Numbers like these make you think. They bring it all home.

And should make us think when we obsess about the numbers that govern our daily business life.

For our numbers are not a matter of life and death.

They do not amount to a hill of beans.

We may think they are important but when stacked up against the numbers of 1916 and the lives of the many, many K.R. Owens, are they really?

For they come to nought when stacked up against the lives lost, lives ruined, by the events of 1916.

It is all too easy for the anonymised count of the slaughter to obliterate the human cost for war. Any war.

It did for me as a historian. I deal in facts and figures and dates. Not people.


Until I saw the name of K R Owen. Twice.

The numbers that I deal in are unlikely be remembered by the end of January 2017, never mind recorded and remembered and commemorated 100 years hence.

Unlike K. R. Owen and his ilk.

Who went from boy to man to a memory on a board in 3 years.

He may not even have been involved in the Somme.

But that doesn’t matter. That is not the point.

It was potential lost. Brilliance snuffed out. A tragic loss.

And that is my abiding memory of 2016.

A memory that has humbled me.

The lesson I have learnt.

Christmas 1916 on the Somme Front, painting W.B. Wollen

Our numbers may be good. They may be bad. Even indifferent.

They might please or disappoint our bosses.

But we still get to go home every night, limbs and minds intact.

Unlike K.R Owen.

Ensuring that I go into 2017 with a more acute sense of what matters and what doesn’t. More acute than ever before.

Thanks to K.R. Owen and the memories from the Somme.

Lest we forget.

A New Star

Day 38 (Thursday 7th January 2016)

38 is often referred to as "Triple Prosperity" in Chinese culture.
Both the number "3" and "8" are viewed as auspicious - number 3 sounds similar
to the character for "birth" and number 8 resembles the word for "prosper" or "wealth".
Illustration - Chinese 3 coin earrings representing triple prosperity

Today's very personal and inspiring post is by Laura Codling an Organisational Development Business Partner at Torus, based in Manchester, UK. You can follow Laura on Twitter (her handle is @Laura_Torus). On graduating in HR Management and Accounting at Bolton, Laura commenced her HR career with the Police in Manchester, before transferring into a project management role in HR within Bolton Council's Adult Disability Services department. She left the public sector in 2008, moving into not-for-profit; she joined Helena Partnerships, developers and providers of affordable housing. She moved again last October to Torus (a new name within the affordable homes sector). Laura was born on Valetine's Day. She has a powerful moral compass and loves the challenges of working in an environment that stretches her and where she is helping make the world a better place. She has a passion for learning and a fascination with effecting positive change.

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This blog, whilst a little self indulgent (its about my experiences after all!), is hopefully a timely reminder to all of us about appreciation and living in the present. You may read this and not be able to relate to what I'm saying, but I'd like to think that everyone can take away something, even if it only serves to remind you that you already cherish the events and people that are in your life.

When you strive for goals it's easy to forget that the journey holds its own experiences and memories and sometimes we forget to appreciate it along the way. It sounds like common sense doesn't it?

I've heard it said many times, but it's one of those things that usually only hits home when a life event stops you in your tracks and you reflect back. The benefits of hindsight are immense.

I have always been a bit of a perfectionist wanting everything to be "just so" with boxes ticked, I's dotted and T's crossed. I have always labelled it as being "determined and driven", but you can get to the point where you are so focussed on the goal that you forget to enjoy the journey and appreciate the experience of where you have been, where you are now and where you are going.

I'll give you an example.....When I finished work for maternity leave to have my first child I was really anxious about being off work - would things be done how I do them?; would the managers I supported get the support they expected.....? I actually worried about whether they would cope without me! (No seriously I did - this wasn't about me having an inflated sense of what I contribute, but about me needing to feel that I mattered.)

I didn't spend days at home waiting for her arrival wondering what was happening at work, but that is only because she arrived the day before I was due to finish work! I went from one busy existence to another in less than 24 hours and I soon realised that a shift in focus was a good thing for me on so many levels.....and, you know what? I didn't obsess about being off, and work didn't fall apart!

We can become so immersed in our own part of the world that perspective can become skewed and small things can become international disasters. I had been so focused up to that point on my career that I couldn't see outside of it, which is pretty sad to think when I look back now.

Still Life and Street, 1937, Escher's 1st print of distorted perspective

Now, after a few massive events in my life including another period of maternity leave, I have to say my outlook is very different, but this was probably the first time I stopped and thought long and hard about what really mattered to me.

Up until that point, if you'd asked me who inspired me in life I would probably have picked some pretty obvious names - Sheryl Sandberg, Richard Branson - but, not wanting to take anything away from what they have achieved in their careers, I've come to realise that inspiration can be found closer to home and people close to you can have a far more profound impact than someone that you may never meet.

Circle of Calm painting by Katie Berggren

My inspiration now comes from a small group of people far closer to home and one little girl in particular. Georgia is my niece and the bravest person I know. At 9 years old she has gone through more on this earth than any one of us will go through in our lifetimes, battling cancer for the last 4 years. She fought hard to beat the odds, always with a smile on her face, a sparkle in her eye and you would never hear her complain. She took every day as it came, faced unimaginable obstacles and appreciated everything and everyone around her.

I should also point out that I am in awe of her mum (my sister); Georgia was, and always will be, the centre of her world and she has worked tirelessly. She has bravery, care and resilience by the bucket load.

Our hearts have been broken, we said "au revoir" to our gorgeous Georgia a few days before Christmas, after her brave and courageous fight and we will be led by the bravest lady I know. I am proud to say I'm related to them both and, if I have even a fraction of the courage and resilience they have had, then I'm good.

I no longer focus ahead at the goal so much, yes the goals I have for my life are still there (very definitely adjusted from the goals of 5 or 6 years ago) but it's much more about the journey, the experiences and the people along the way.

Blazing a trail is great but missing out on seeing the events, experiences and people that have been part of creating it and appreciating the journey would be such a shame wouldn't it?

Stardust

Day 36 ( Tuesday 5th January 2016)

"36 Strategies" a unique collection of ancient Chinese proverbs formed into a book
providing advice for soldiers, politicians, diplomats and spies (also of interest to modern-day
businesses and leaders). It was rediscovered on a roadside stall in Sichuan in 1941.

Today's post comes to us from the United States of America, Texas to be precise. It is written by Christopher Demers, a leading HR professional, currently working as the Senior Manager for Employee Relations at VMware. He wrote a splendid piece last year about the joy of Christmas. This year he is testing the opposite spectrum of emotions - although both are touched by love. Christopher is an excellent blogger - you can read his thoughts on ChristopherinHR. Otherwise, follow him on Twitter - his handle is @ChristopherinHR. I really value having Christopher as a friend - he is wise and knowledgable and does not begrudge his time or sharing his thoughts.

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The melody haunts my reverie, and I am once again with you...

Ah, what memories.

My friend, Kate Griffiths-Lambeth, asked if I might put a few words together celebrating Comet Trails and Coal Dust as part of a year-end series. I can only think all the real writers were busy and Kate was in a bit of a pickle when she reached out to me, but nonetheless vanity let me respond. (Editorial comment - as those of you know who read Christopher's blog/his post from last year's series, he is an accomplished and a very "real" writer who adds a huge amount of value to what has become a globally celebrated series.)

Many of us take time out at the start of a new year for reflection, and a healthy habit that is. Sometimes, in the States anyway, we distrust those over-prone to navel-gazing. Too much introspection can be a dangerous thing and often leads to missing the change in traffic lights as people tend to self-gaze while meandering in their cars. To help alleviate this we've managed to corral most gazers and most cars into Southern California so it all kind of works out.

Yet a little introspection is a good thing. I've actually seen comet trails and coal dust both, but then again, I am ancient so don't worry if you haven't yet. They are indeed both matter at the same time hard to hold but not easily forgotten, much like the memories of love.

As it happens, ironically, this morning at o'dark thirty I rose from bed to the delicious taste of some fresh Sumatra with Stardust on my mind.

Sundays are my days. As a child I resented the forced march to church and the endless sermon telling us we were all going to hell (anyway). Well, let's get on with it, I used to think, because hell can't be as bad as this damn sermon... But as a grown man, with grown children now gone and on their own (and the best damn children in the world I must say), Sundays are my day and I purposely leave them free of any scheduled event. It is my day for reverie and introspection.

This morning I was (and still am) listening to Stardust, the absolute classic by Hoagy Carmichael. A quick search shows that something like 1,500 artists have recorded this song... Folks: that's a good song and while I prefer the rendition done by Harry Connick Jr. (he's from the South - I'm biased) there are many you could choose from. Such a haunting melody and words that, to me, speak to my soul.

Ironically Hoagy wrote the song several years before Mitchell Parish ever put words to it and yet the work is a seamless piece of art. 

It reminds me of my ex-wife, simply a beautiful woman who is a fantastic artist. The kind of person who would wake in the middle of the night and have to get to her studio to explore an idea. Her amazing eyes truly are windows to her soul and I, I was fortunate enough to look in those eyes every day. Just not for as many days as I had hoped.

The idiosyncratic timing and phrases of Stardust reach me in a place where nothing else does, every time I hear it, and I am immediately transported back to that garden wall Mitchell described, reminding me of so much beauty in my life with my ex. Following the dissolution of our union it was painful for many years to hear the song I admit. But time soldiers on.

Much like comet trails everything eventually comes to an end and, thankfully, like coal dust even the signs of a broken heart can be worn away after enough time. 

So, boys and girls, as you start the New Year full of vim and vigour and with the penchant for a new resolution or two, I wish you the best in all the parts of your life and living. 

Me? 

I've made peace with myself for having lived the most beautiful days of my life with a woman I'm likely never see again. The pain is gone even as the melody haunts my reverie.

Be well and enjoy the comet trails you ride as everything indeed in the end turns to coal dust.