Damn Good - Day 21

Friday 21st December 2018 

21 Shillings make a Guinea - although no longer circulated (it ceased being minted in 1814),
the term guinea survives as a unit of account in some fields, including horse racing, Oxbridge May
Ball tickets and the sale of rams to mean an amount of one pound and one shilling (21 shillings)
which is £1.05. It was the first English machine-struck gold coin, originally worth one pound sterling,
equal to twenty shillings, but rises in the price of gold relative to silver caused the value of the guinea
to increase, at times to as high as thirty shillings. From 1717 to 1816, its value was officially
fixed at twenty-one shillings.

I am not going to be back in the office until after Christmas - it has been so full-on over the past few days and weeks that that feels really weird. We had a great party last night. Today I am driving to Somerset to take my mother to hospital. All being well, she and I are looking forward to going out to dinner tonight with friends and some other members of the family. It will be wonderful to spend some quality time with loved ones. The older I get the more I appreciate the importance of love and relationships. Is there someone or some people you can see or renew contact with at this festive time? My mother is sliding into severe dementia; I am so glad that we made and cherished our moments together over the years, as you can never get that time back.

Today's post is reflective and open. It is by Sara Duxbury, whose post last year caused a lot of positive and active discussion about mental health, friendship and the workplace.  Sara is an amazing lady, full of energy and ideas; she works as a business psychologist and is Head of Commercial at Carter Corson. After studying Psychology, Sara commenced her career in Retail and held operational roles before moving into Learning and Development and through that into HR. She has been an award winning HR Director with particular expertise in Professional Services. Sara has an excellent reputation as a thought-leader and is an active and engaging member of the social media community; you can connect with her on Twitter (her handle is @SaraJDux).

All the illustrations and music in this post were selected by Sara herself.

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#MyStory – the sequel

If last year’s blog was about putting myself out there, this year is about how I lost myself out there.

When I wrote my Advent Blog this time last year (http://kategl.blogspot.com/2018/01/mystory-day-37.html)  the response I received was completely unprecedented. I was incredibly humbled by words of respect, admiration, love and the “we knew you were mad, and we love you anyway”. I was in fact quite speechless (which for those who know me, you will know the world must have been considerably quieter for a moment!). The whole experience at the time, felt like the ultimate high five!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmDzqWqTXa8

Martin Luke Brown - Opalite

When I reflect on the year that has passed since, I can see that there have been unexpected consequences, which have caused me heartache

Having a public support network meant that what I used to keep private, I now get support from my work colleagues and my friends – I have help. I bet you’re thinking how can this be a bad thing Sara? But all my coping strategies involved up until then… me. To now have people caring and wanting to share the burden was and is strangely difficult. I find it hard not to withdraw.

My self-confidence took a serious battering – I felt afraid and doubted myself. I still do on an hourly/daily basis. By being so honest to myself, I think I have made myself vulnerable and my imposter syndrome just LOVES that. I’m still learning how to channel that negative drain into positive energy.

My worst fear did come true – some people did and do judge me. Some do view my behaviour without understanding where it might be coming from. I think if they could spend some time inside my head, they might be kinder?

I’m overdoing it – my off-switch has completely left the building. You know you need to look at your wellbeing when you are conducting a three-week sleep study on yourself to determine if you are getting enough sleep! Maybe I think I need to prove myself more? (see previous two points)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dmQ3QWpy1Q

Linkin Park & Kiiara – Heavy

I remember disagreeing with quite a few people last year who described me as brave. I feel more like this year I have needed to be brave, and I think I will need to continue to be brave to begin/carry on making good choices in this brave new Dux world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwPa71UZRaQ

The Wombats – Lemon to a Knife Fight

I can only do my best and I think I need to learn that my best is good enough. Hope is seeing photos of me like the below (thank you Kelly Swingler!) where I see captured, just for a moment, a glimpse of that girl who still gets so much joy from a wonky life (especially if it involves tacos!).

So, if you are someone who doesn’t struggle with your mental health, use your powers for good.

To quote this awesome girl I know: “My biggest hope is that by sharing my story, you who are sitting there battling on both sides, or you managing someone with mental health struggles. Look at me and see you CAN be the best version of you, be DAMN good at what you do, and be a bit bat-shit crazy” Here’s to hope…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_5WHnQd9pY

Curtis Walsh – Full Recovery

Down at the coalface

Day 45 (Thursday 14th January 2016)

45 rpm vinyl phonodisc records and a bakerlite player were introduced in 1949,
by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA), as they were seen as being smaller, more
durable and providing a higher fidelity recording than those produced on the traditional phonograph cylinders or 78 rpm gramophone records made of shellac.

Jon Bartlett is the author of today's post. Jon was one of the people I got to know soon after I first joined Twitter and, as well as being in contact via social media, we now meet when we can IRL, and I am proud to call him my friend. The three glorious photographs of sky-high drama and showers of sparks like a comet's tail, used to illustrate the year just gone, are all taken by Jon - as many of you know, he is a talented photographer. You can see more of his pictures on his work website: Project Libero, as well as getting a better feeling for him and how he operates. Jon is a coach, trainer, specialist mediator, mentor and one of the UK's recognised experts on mental health and related issues within the workplace. Jon writes an excellent blog at projectlibero.wordpress.com

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When I started my business I had a vague business plan about helping operational staff rather than executive teams. My experience in organisations led me to the conclusion that many of the frontline teams had management “done to them”, rather than it being collaborative or generative. I wanted to show staff how to manage upwards, how to take the initiative and become leaders themselves.

Along the way I got pleasantly side tracked into delivering a lot of training and consultancy on mental health and the organisational challenges (and opportunities) of managing this well. When I started this, I naively assumed that leadership teams would want to, well, lead on these issues. The reality was somewhat different. So as I look back and reflect on 2015 I realise how much time I’ve spent at “the coalface” this year. Not for me the comet trails of the C-suite but rather being down in the coal dust at an operational level. The place where lots of people want to see change, where they are willing to embody that change and push it upwards. With teams who are ready to seek forgiveness rather than permission.

This year

I’ve stood in front of a 15 strong SMT who all agreed that something “must be done” and were somewhat lost, until I pointed out that presumably we had all the necessary decision makers in the room…  And had their junior staff get on with setting up a knowledge sharing lunch and learn session.

I’ve had a senior operational leader discount my training to their staff as “more time with the men in white coats”….  And had their support staff make amazing adjustments to keep people on the team and bring them back to health and productivity.

I’ve heard a senior executive ponder on whether “we have those sort of people round here”….  And had 60% of their management cadre sign up for training and another 10% ask to be on a waiting list.

I don’t count those as my successes. Sure I was involved but I didn’t lead those initiatives. Good HR and L&D teams did. Motivated staff did.

My successes? Well the nature of my work these days mean that I spend a lot of time with people going through tough and frightening situations. Getting some of those people to look up and start to aim for the comet tails, for their own personal goals is reward in itself but perhaps my happiest moment was the time when someone talked to me about 10 years of self harm. The first time they’d spoken to someone other than a clinician and the trigger for them to ask for help from their employer to prevent it happening again.

All in all a successful year and with the prospect for more of the same in 2016, that’s enough to keep me chasing comets.

"Space Matters" - Part One

This is the initial post of a two-part blog about the workplace, inspired by the CIPD HR Leaders’ Network event on the topic.

“Space Matters” wise words from Neil Usher, the head of Workplace at Sky, who was the main speaker at last week’s CIPD HR Leaders’ Network evening.  Late last year I suggested to the CIPD that I bring together a collection of passionate advocates for workplace strategy as, increasingly, I am of the opinion that leaders (both in and outside HR) need to be mindful of the space and surroundings in which we expect people to perform and be productive. 

Selagas Cano Architects office, SpainPhoto by Iwan Baan

Our environment (be that at home or at work) has changed significantly over the past two decade and continues to evolve. Technology, transport, the manner in which we work, collaboration, project-based targets, generational expectations and capabilities – all of these have influenced the requirements and individuals’ expectations of the place in which we work.

Making a place accommodating and pleasant in which to work is certainly important – rudimentary necessities such as clean, accessible lavatories/broader wash room facilities, sufficient air, warmth, drinking water – are indeed a fundamental need. However, there are other quite basic requirements that all too frequently are ignored in deference to cost constraints. Personal, secure storage (especially as “hot desking” is popular, combined with flexible working practices, which often result in a change of clothing as a person moves from one environment to another), employees need somewhere to keep their possessions. 

Communal spaces are important – as Lynda Gratton says in her book Hot Spots, we are at times energetic, positive social animals and will congregate where we find a spark of energy (be that the water cooler, a vending machine, local watering hole or around popular colleague’s desk) if not given an area to meet and mingle we might miss out on enjoying the benefits of a Hot Spot’s energy. Many of our best and innovative ideas come from bouncing problems and concepts off others, not from sitting in isolation in a cubicle or “Brainstorming” at a boardroom table.

Intentional office Hot Spot

Another basic, but often ignored, human requirement is natural light – it is well known from numerous research studies that daylight enhances human health – workers exposed to daylight sleep, on average 46 minutes longer than their natural-light-starved colleagues and sleep has a huge impact of wellbeing, for example reducing stress levels. Yet according to research, by Mental Health Research UK, one in ten workers in the UK have no access to natural light at work and 30% of us leave before dawn and return after dusk during the winter months. 

Screen shot from The Apartment, 1960
No windows, no natural light, no colour, no view, no plants...

We instinctively know that daylight is good for us. SAD afflicts many during the dark winter months and can have serious ramifications – it is usually induced by a prolonged lack of exposure to natural light and yet 46% of European offices provide no natural daylight. Employers have a duty of care to their employees and, knowingly putting people into a situation that is bad for them is wrong. It took us a while to appreciate the harm from smoking and asbestos, I suspect that depriving people of natural daylight will be seen in a similar light in the future (excuse the pun).

De La Rue Technology Centre, Hampshire, UK

Daylight is not to be confused with sunlight. In a modern workplace sunlight can prove problematical, for example by having an adverse impact on heat, especially in offices with large expanses of glass, and the glare can make it hard to work (who hasn’t had problems trying to see a screen in direct sunlight and pulled down the blinds – thereby negating the positive efficacy of access to natural light?). However, these problems are due to our technology and not an individual’s needs. We require sunlight to produce Vitamin D (useful for healthy bones and teeth) and to encourage our bodies to create vital hormones, which regulate the internal clocks that influence our moods, appetites and energy levels. 

Komorebi (Japanese word meaning sunshine through leaves)
with credit to Jo Stephenson

I am writing this post while sitting in the garden – the sound of the birds, the warm sunshine on my skin and the scent of the blossom is wonderful. I can feel myself perking up just by sitting here. Fresh air and sunshine are good. It is proven that wounds heal more swiftly when exposed to daylight and sunshine (Florence Nightingale insisted that her Nightingale Wards had their long sides south facing, with a windows that could be opened between each single bed to let in the sunshine and fresh air - the ensuing Edwardian habit of wheeling the ill (especially those with Tuberculosis) and infirm in their beds out into the sunshine was less misguided than some of us believe.

Bed-ridden patients getting fresh air
City Hospital, early 1900s 
(Photo, City of Edinburgh Museums and Galleries Collection)

It took the threat of biological warfare to encourage two Ministry of Defence scientists, based at Porton-Down in the UK, to undertake research into the effect of sunshine and fresh air on bacteria. Henry Druett and K.R. May were concerned by what would happen if deadly pathogens were exploded over a major city – how long would the microbes remain a threat? To prevent the bacteria being blown away, they wound cobweb around a comb and dusted it with the common gut microbe, Escherichia coli. Some combs were placed in the open air on the rooftop and others placed beside them in a covered container. Much to the scientists’ surprise, the bacteria when exposed to sunshine and fresh air died within two hours, whereas the enclosed samples were still thriving and viable. This research might make us want rethink our attitude towards air conditioning. It is so easy for bacteria or fungi to breed in warm, sheltered spaces. I am aware of a couple of Directors severely poisoned by the unclean air pumped into their offices after aircon filters were not cleaned or replaced for a number of years – one’s lungs were reduced to those of  a 75 year old, despite being in her early 40’s and the other, who was not so swiftly diagnosed, has since not been able to take on full-time employment for nearly a decade. Increasingly employers will be held to account for putting employees’ health at risk.

Often found in Air Conditioning systems

While on the subject of nursing and health – nurses provide a great example as to how sensible workplace design can enhance employee health and wellbeing and also improve patient care. My grandfather, whom I have mentioned in an earlier blog about his involvement in the invention of the iron lung, was a medical professor, based out of Guy’s Hospital in London (which, by coincidence, is one of the hospitals in the Foundation Trust where I have the privilege of being a Governor). Early last century he undertook research into the amount of walking that a nurse does each day and found that over a third of the time spent at work involved walking, with just over half being dedicated to actual patient care. He argued that if you could reduce the amount of time getting to and from patients and the nursing station, pharmacy, etc… there would be more time for care. A similar study in the USA a little earlier this century came up with the same findings. At Guy’s and St Thomas’ we are trying to make the environment better for patients and staff. Simple changes, like moving a facility away from the noise and bustle of the public areas, has resulted in less mistakes and lives have been saved by transferring the intensive care ward from the top floor to closer to A&E at ground level – thereby reducing the time that a patient takes to reach required support and treatment – time wasted in a lift. Changing a workplace for the better does not require specialist knowledge – it just requires the application of common sense and an appreciation of the fact that “space matters”. But be mindful of Winston Churchill's words:

"We shape ours spaces and then they shape us."

A Light at the end of My Tunnel - Day 47

Day 47 (16th January 2015)

47 has become an in-joke in Star Trek, making regular appearances in dialogue,
on computer screens and equipment. The practice originates with Joe Menosky,
a script writer, who was a member of the 47 Society as a student at Pomona College.

Today's post comes from an individual who would like to remain anonymous, as he does not want to upset members of his family and fears that his words might impact his job search. In the post he refers to the Anonymous author who wrote about their experiences on the 18th December. He was unaware of yesterday's post until reading it yesterday - there are some similarities, in that both have independent paths ahead. I would like to wish both writers a happy, successful and rewarding 2015.

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No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you'll find the positive side of things. 

If you are reading this I made it, I made it through 2014 - a year that I will never ever forget.

I have never wished for a year to end as much as this one. It is probably not right to wish away your life and/or years but, when you come to the end of this blog, I am sure you will understand where I am coming from. 

January started with where I left it in 2013 - Dad was in a nursing home suffering from dementia and was deteriorating daily. Although we had Christmas 2013 at my place and I managed to persuade the nursing home to let him out for Christmas, I and the family, were not game enough to do the same for New Year’s Day. Little would I know that that would be Dad’s last Christmas with us.

We had such a lovely time on Christmas Day 2013 and I recall I took a video (his last interview with me) with him telling me stories of the village and his younger days - you see, once Dementia hit, all Dad was able to remember was his youth - he recalled nothing of his life post his teens - his wedding day, his migration to a country on the other side of the world, the weddings of his two boys and the birth of his five grand children. Dad was not getting any better but he was managing because he was eating and sleeping.

Impact of Dementia on the brain

From a personal perspective 2014 started with the rumours that the Civil Service, as a result of changes in government, was to offer a huge number of voluntary redundancies.  The rumour was strong for my agency and was further confirmed by the fact that the HR department was to be targeted as part of a work re-design review and the notion that we were “top heavy”.

I had a lot to think about and ponder - do I jump and take this opportunity to cash in? Do I hang around and work in an area where I was starting to feel a little uneasy? Was this my chance to fulfil my dream of finally doing what I wanted to do? My age would be a factor, but I yearned to explore the bigger world of consulting and see what I could do on my own. Either way it was an opportunity to finally do what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it.

The path ahead

Mid February arrived and we had to make a decision - so I lodged my expression of interest - I will never forget the feeling that day - such a relief , such a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I already felt free even though there were months to go. I was confident of being successful, due to the thinking by the Executive that the HR department needed to be cut back - I knew I had a very good chance!

So as expected, knowing I had expressed an interest in a package, my heart was not in my current work and I managed to float for a month or so until the decision was made. Then, in early March, I heard  - I was told I would be offered a VR (Voluntary Redundancy) package and that the final date was not yet determined.

I started feeling excited - I had nothing lined up but similar to Anonymous on a pre-Christmas Advent Blog - I had confidence in my abilities, plus it was also time to smell the roses - I needed a break - after 32 years it was time to rest.  My youngest daughter was in the last months of her final year of high school - I could be there for her. Mum was needing some assistance with visiting Dad - I could be there for her. My heart yearned for a different life, foolish maybe, but my heart said it was right.

Time to smell the roses?

I was offered a May departure date and thus I worked towards that - I started making some connections, put some feelers out - not much coming back - maybe I should have spotted the warning signs and the writing was on the wall - but I was determined to go.

It was nearly my departure date in May and I visited Dad with my family.  He didn’t look great, he was not eating, he was hallucinating; he was in his own world - he hardly opened his eyes to see me. I left knowing that Dad was going downhill. In the morning I rang Mum and arranged to pick her up to visit Dad and be with him for his lunch. One thing we prided ourselves on as a family is that during the time Dad was in the nursing home he had a family visitor every day. He always had someone to chat to, see how he was and make sure he was fed and relaxed.

However, this day was going to be different. As we arrived and headed to his room, I saw Dad in a very bad way - he was not going to make it - he passed that day, in mid afternoon, but before he did he left us a sign.  As Mum and I were comforting him, he opened his eyes, looked at us, shed a few tears and then he let his last breathe go.  A moment I will never forget and so grateful to God that I was there to witness it - whatever it was, one thing is for sure, it was closure for all of us

So here I was planing a funeral whilst also clearing my desk, packing my possessions and bringing to an end a 32 year career of Public Service - it was a one of those “pinch me I am dreaming moments”. I do recall though a senior colleague of mine, who made an amazing comment, one which I thank her for today:

 “ Just think what a blessing your father has given you - he wants you to start your new life without a worry in the world, without a need to concern yourself with his daily care. He is setting you free from all his worries”

Once I reflected on it and really thought about it, it made sense. Dad was actually in his own way saying to me "son go on your way with my blessing - it is time for you to expand your wings and find your voice and passion".

We buried Dad - on a grey and drizzly day that suited the occasion - although it was a tough day, we had been mentally preparing for this day for the last two years.

That same week, my eldest son was moving out. Although we knew this was happening early in the year when they (he and his girlfriend) had made the decision to live together, the commitment to the new flat was for the same week as the funeral and thus the timing was not great - but how would they have known that? With all the emotion of Dad’s passing and my eldest son leaving our house, I broke down. In a moment of privacy, whilst others were packing boxes, I took some time to video myself in his room and recount the times I read him his bed time story after his bath, the times we did homework together, the times we put up the shelves in his room to hang his NBA caps. It all came flooding back and boy did I cry. I think I cried for a while thinking of how his grandfather, his namesake, loved him so much and was always so proud of what he had achieved. 

I was losing my two best mates in the same week! I pulled myself together and continued the packing and he moved in smoothly to his new home.

Very soon after Dad passed away, my spouse was undertaking some routine check ups and was asked to undergo a more thorough check up. I will not go into too much detail suffice to say that the next 6 months were hell - waiting, contemplating and taking a final decision.

This all on top of the last year of my daughter’s high school education. The most important academic year in my child’s life and she had to deal with her grandfather’s passing, her Dad leaving the workforce and now her mother going through a tough medical journey. I was worried for her and was concerned that these issues may distract her from reaching her optimal best. Well, I was proven wrong, not only did she overcome all these issues, she managed to do very well and we were all elated - to some extent one of the few shinning moments for the year!

So with the new year ahead, I am looking forward to ramping up my consultancy business and looking forward to making new connections and enhancing my PLN !

But more importantly, I am looking forward to being a son, a brother, a husband, and a father to my three beautiful children. 

So as my Annus Horribilis comes to an end I know there is a “little light” at the end of my tunnel - it is shinning bright and it is awaiting me to come through and receive its warmth.

Light at the end of the tunnel

I hope you enjoyed a Safe and Merry Christmas and here’s to a New Year that surely has to be better than 2014 !

D-Ream - Things Can Only Get Better

 Life can be very tough at times