The Art of Encouragement - Day 15

Saturday 15th December 2018

15 is the magic constant in a Magic Square. The first Magic Square was known to and
written about by Chinese mathematicians. Legends dating from as early as 650 BC tell the
story of the Lo Shu (洛书) or "scroll of the river Lo".^[11] According to the legend, there was
at one time in ancient China a huge flood. While the great king Yu was trying to channel the
water out to sea, a turtle emerged from it with a curious pattern on its shell: a 3×3 grid
in which circular dots of numbers were arranged, such that the sum of the numbers in each row,
column and diagonal was the same: 15. According to the legend, thereafter people were able
to use this pattern in a certain way to control the river and protect themselves from floods.
It is used today for Feng Shui

As you read this I will be driving south through freezing rain, snow flurries and high winds, bringing my youngest son home for the holidays...and I will be grinning. I love being a mother. The writer of today's post is a renowned, loving parent and husband, a supportive and caring friend/colleague and a huge influence on the global HR community - Steve Browne. I always love his Advent Blog posts - they zing with positivity and good advice.

For the past 12 years Steve has worked for LaRosa's Inc - Ohio's leading pizzeria business and a regional restaurant chain that has grown significantly over the past 60 years. Steve is the Vice President of HR. He has worked as an HR professional for over 25 years and has gained experience in Professional Services, Manufacturing and Consumer Products in addition to Hospitality and Leisure.

Steve is an active leader in the SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) in the USA - and was elected to serve as a Director on the Board in 2016. He blogs both for the Society (SHRM Blog) and also on his own site Everyday People, as well as tirelessly communicating with HR professionals and interested parties around the world. His enthusiasm is infectious. I strongly recommend that you follow him on Twitter (his handle is @SBrowneHR) if you have not already done so.

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I am a wildly passionate and positive human !! This is how I entered the world, and I am sure it’s how I’ll leave it someday. It’s intriguing to me that being positive is viewed as being an outlier in today’s climate. I’ve often heard it said that – “Positive people piss people off.” We want others to wallow, grouse and suffer because we feel that our negativity is our common bond.

How sad is that?

Seriously. How sad is that?

Now, please don’t think that I ignore the struggles of others. I work in Human Resources (on purpose) and I swim in the sea of humanity on a daily basis. 

The vast majority of every day at work is filled with darkness and dread. Regardless of the extent of a person’s circumstances, they feel that NO ONE has it as difficult as them. This myopic view of daily existence is so debilitating that it’s hard to adequately capture it in words. Using phrases like “It will be okay” or “Hang in there” ring hollow when someone feels buried or consumed by their situation.

There is one approach though that can ring true and break through any level of heartache. That is the art of encouragement. It truly is an art because to do it requires a few components in order for it to have its full effect.

BE GENUINE

No one likes a fake. This is true with people from all walks of life and occupation. We tend to gauge this on those who have a public or political presence. But, being fake never works for any person. What’s unique about this facet of encouragement is that “being genuine” is determined by others in how they see you behave. This can’t be self-proclaimed.

Genuine people are like magnets. They attract others and people find genuine folks easy to be around. Also, genuine people speak from the heart, and that is key to the art of encouragement.

BE CONSISTENT

Encouragement is needed everywhere. It can’t only be doled out to those with whom you feel closest or most comfortable. It’s not a show. It’s a foundational block for interactions and eventually relationships. Being consistent in anything takes practice and discipline in order for it to become natural in how you approach others. Trust me when I say that it is worth your time and effort to consistently encourage.

BE WILLING

This probably should be the first point, but I listed it third because I don’t want people to become encouragers out of obligation. This isn’t a “guilt” thing with me. Encouragement is an art because people who are willing are observant. They’ll take the time to intentionally maintain eye contact with strangers as they pass through a crowd. They’ll naturally thank a server in a restaurant for taking care of them. They’ll make sure to genuinely return the greeting of those in retail whose job it is to greet. They won’t walk past them. Willing people notice people on purpose !!

This year’s Advent series listed Hope and High-Fives as two of the three components. I know that Heartaches was also listed, but I find encouragement even in the most dire circumstances. It’s true. I know I’m an outlier and I’m very comfortable with that.

My hope is that this season you start living every day as a constant, visible “high-five” for those who you encounter. You never know. You may be the ONE thing that gives light and encouragement to someone where no one else has. That alone gives me joy. So, pick up your palette and brushes. Use the canvas of life to begin your own art of encouragement !!

Bring Me Sunshine by Morcambe and Wise

Katrina and The Waves singing "Walking on Sunshine"

Positive . . . Year Round !!

Day 21 (Wednesday 21st December 2016)

21% increase in electric car sales (year-on-year) in Europe

in the first six months of 2016 91,300 vehicles were sold.

The first electric car was created by Robert Anderson in 1832 — decades 
before Ford came out with the Model T. In fact, electric automobiles were so 
prevalent that Thomas Edison himself worked on a long-lasting car battery in 1899. 
However, they fell out of fashion in the 1920s, when their low horsepower and 
issues with longer distances became a hindrance. They remained popular in New York, 
where they were used as taxis, indeed in the early 1900s there were more 
electric than petrol driven vehicles on the roads in NYC.

We have reached "hump day" - the Christmas weekend is almost here. Today is a perfect day for an uplifting post from a HR superstar from America. Steve Browne is the Executive Director of HR at LaRosa's Inc. the leading pizzeria and Italian restaurant in the Cincinnati area. For many years he has championed the role of HR as a true partner and support for the business. In January 2016, Steve's outstanding attitude, and dedication to HR and the community, was rightly recognised in January 2016 when he was elected to serve as a member of the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)'s Board of Directors.

Steve is outstandingly supportive, energetic, enthusiastic and collaborative. He regularly shares knowledge and connects with people from around the world. He has been described as "a leader for the HR profession' who "shares his expertise generously with others in the field." and "A dynamo. Knowledgeable, extremely so ... but just a little bit "off" centre, in a way that makes grasping the concepts he shares, incorporating the lessons he teaches, and interacting with both people and the world in which we all live and work extremely entertaining and fun." I can vouch for the veracity of the statements and the below post is a good example of his style and attitude. Steve is a delight to interact with, always courteous, passionate about making a difference and he often exemplifies how it is possible to have a wonderful and loving family life, well-balanced with work. He is married to Debbie and, as well as adoring her, is justifiably proud of his son, Josh, and daughter, Melanie. Steve believes that life should be made up of constant heights and hearts with no hollows, and that attitude is key.You can follow Steve on Twitter (his handle is @sbrownehr).

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Positive . . . Year Round !!

The holiday season brings on a myriad of emotions. There are those who wish the sense of generosity and welcoming would last much longer than the 30 to 45 days of the season (depending on how long the retailers want us to believe it lasts). I enjoy the holidays, but I don’t lose my mind when I see the first Christmas light or stop motion special on TV (like Rudolph). I do look forward to this time of year because I feel some people “catch up” to how I tend to look at life all year long.

I love that people feel more of a compulsion to be giving of their time and material possessions to others who have a larger need. I see more smiles on faces and there is usually more laughter that comes out with ease at even the slightest hint of something tickling your funny bone. People, in general, seem to be more at ease and connected to each other. This is where I wish I was a “human retailer” so that I could expand this season of positive wishes so that it became our norm rather than something we don during the holidays.

Feast of the Bean King,  oil painting by Jacob Jordeans 1593 -1678

I know that the world is in turmoil. There is war, famine, hostility, economic and political uncertainty and reckless behavior towards others. However, this is not new. If you look back throughout time, we have had similar challenges and threats. The difference now is that we can’t break away from the constant waves of doom and gloom. It penetrates all forms of media and we also have our faces buried in some form of technology that forces our field of vision to look downward. We don’t dare miss some meaningless gossip about people we don’t know or truly care about. But I digress . . .

I think we should be naturally positive year round. It isn’t the norm and people are actually uncomfortable and skeptical around people that choose to be positive.

I remember one HR conference I attended years ago when someone I just met came up to me and said, “I don’t believe it.”

I replied, “Believe what?”

 She said, “You’re really positive all the time. I see your on-line posts and think, ‘He can’t really be like that,’ and yet you are !!”

I laughed and gave her a hug. We actually became close friends. I wasn’t surprise that she couldn’t believe that someone could be genuinely positive on a regular basis. We all go through highs and lows in our lives – including me. However, how you view others and how you view life in general is an intentional choice. I could choose to dwell in the muck and mire that’s out there, and I could even choose to live an empty life just expecting the next disappointment to arrive. I know people who do that, but I don’t accept that that has to be our fate.

If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’re tempted to be cynical and negative. It’s our first “go to” human reaction to things. I don’t blame you, but I won’t join you. I expect the best in others because I know they have it in them. I look forward to moving past when we disappoint each other, because we will, and we have a chance to grow from it. I also welcome hearing and considering various observations and viewpoints from others to open my eyes to many perspectives. I may not agree with what others say, but that doesn’t take away the fact of how fascinated I am with how they came up with their stance.

We want people to be either “right” (where they concur with us) or “wrong” (where they disagree with us). That’s tiring and defeating. I’d like to propose an alternative that works regardless of who you’re encountering.

See the best in others. All. The. Time.

Lift others up with your encouragement. All. The. Time.

Care for others even when they don’t care for you. All. The. Time.

Smile, laugh and hug others because we all need, and enjoy, that. All. The. Time.

You can experience the joy and heights of the holiday season throughout the year. It’s a magnificent way to experience and live life. I believe in you. Be encouraged that there is someone on this planet who truly does care and wants to see you thrive. All. The. Time.