Keep your Eyes Open - Day 3

Day 3 (Sunday 3rd December 2017)

Three spirits visit Scrooge in Charles Dickens's Christmas Carol - Past, Present and Yet to Come.
Charles Dickens did not invent the tradition of telling ghost stories during the dark
winter nights, and almost all cultures have a tradition of telling deep and frightening stories 
on dark evenings. In pagan times and indeed in certain parts of the world even today
there is a belief in the power and importance of the appearance of spirits, with a number
described on only being seen at certain times of the year, such as Christmas Eve.

I hope you are enjoying the first weekend of Advent. 

Today's post is written by Jo Wainwright, who has been a previous contributor to the Advent Blogs series, as you will see when you click on the link in the below post. (You might recognise her as Jo Stephenson, her former name). She is active on social media, her Twitter handle is @Jo_coaches and is a supportive and charming contact. She is an advocate of being kind. Born and raised in Derbyshire, she enjoys the outside spaces (and walks with her dog).

You can see from both pieces that Jo's personal sanctuary is yoga, but much of the time she is connecting with and helping others to rebalance and help themselves; she works as a coach and L&D Manager at the charity Addaction and for nearly a decade she has been devising and delivering initiatives to help young people with personal addiction issues, and those who care for them, to build a better future. Jo is mindful and sensitive, I greatly enjoy her blog, Growing in the Komorebi, although, like me, she is a sporadic rather than regular writer. She describes herself as a Humanist Psychologist and her coaching is focused on building resilience, emotional intelligence and behavioural change.

*****************************************

My last contribution to the advent blog was 2 years ago in Dec 2015, when shared my fear of the dark (read it here). This time last year was very dark with zero capacity to blog. This year I got contact lenses. And my eyes are so sharp, that I no longer hallucinate in the dark. My fear has faded.

Enhanced vision - human vs. cat vision of the same scene

If you read that bit again, there isn’t much more to say. My blog can end there.

This morning I woke up before birds – delighted to say that I still live surrounded by trees – and walked in the dark to make a 6am train. Maybe it’s the knowing that it’s getting lighter. That no matter how dark is feels, the dawn will arrive. That change, that cycle, I can be sure of.

A Figure Walking along a Waterway in Winter, Louis Apol

Last year I thought I would never run. Having never been a runner I didn’t sense a loss. However, not running to catch the train, with my dog... No running AT ALL. This year I ran 10k.

I’ve recently found a new yoga teacher. A remarkable and wonderful new yoga teacher. After years of practice she has re-taught me discipline and personal practice via Mysore: she teaches individually so each person in class is doing personal practice. The group matters because it doesn’t matter. The space and conditions we generate collectively, matter.

I learnt that when I’m practicing yoga and it get’s hard, I close my eyes and go somewhere else. This is ok in Hatha. It’s not ok in Ashtanga Vinyasa. She observes my practice and adjusts my postures and pushes me the right amount, constantly listening: “Keep your eyes open, Jo”.

At the end, when eyes closed for Shavasana and the release was – incredible. I need(ed) that. I need(ed) a teacher like her.

That’s my one thing to share with you this advent: keep your eyes open

I Spy

I am on vacation with my family in Croatia. Last night we were about to head into Zagreb to find something to eat, and my husband and I were waiting by the hotel reception for our sons to join us. Seeing us there, the helpful receptionist asked me what time we would like breakfast in the morning and whether we wanted a cooked “full English” or a “continental”. I sent a text to the boys asking what they wanted and messages passed to and fro for a while, with me informing the receptionist of their requests, until my eldest typed that he could hear the relayed discussion, as he was seated just out of sight in an alcove. This prompted me to say aloud that, given that he could hear the conversation, it would make better sense for him to come and join the discussion rather than our continuing to SMS each other.  

A delightful Canadian lady standing nearby burst into laughter at this and commented that she had teenage sons and so understood.

At breakfast this morning (without the boys as they had overslept), we found the Canadian couple seated at a table near us and so we exchanged pleasantries and then fell into conversation. They are both voice-over specialists – he an actor and she runs an agency (which is how they first met). He specialises in cartoon voices (it’s not every day that you speak to a rock star of the animated boulder variety). We chatted about the day being the anniversary of Bambi’s initial release in the UK (back on 8^th August 1942) 

and that the voice of Bambi had been provided by a chap called Donnie Dunagan, who later went into the US Marines. Throughout his distinguished military career Mr. Dunagan never told a soul about what he had done as a child – it is only now that he is comfortable speaking out – perhaps it was this discussion that triggered my thoughts about people’s perceptions and hence the theme of this post.

Returning to the breakfast discussions – the couple explained that this was their first trip abroad without their sons. They had come to Europe to celebrate her 60^th – he had arranged for them to assist at the 20^th World Body Painting Festival in Austria, which was held in late July – body painting being an art form that they both appreciate. 

The Ship - a contestant in the 2017 WBP Festival

They were responsible for calming contestants prior to judging and making sure that things ran smoothly behind the scenes – certainly a memorable way of commemorating a milestone birthday. 

A finalist in the 2017 Festival competition

Body painting is an extraordinary art form so transient in itself, although photos remain once the paint and brushwork has been washed away. As a modern art form it has its roots in the 1960s with Veruschka (AKA Vera Lehdorff) being viewed by many as the godmother of the modern movement. 

Veruschka

Body painting, which entails disguising or transforming a model through paint, is a laborious process usually taking over eight hours for the finished artwork to be completed and at least 40 minutes to photograph. 

2017 Festival finalist

It is usually an illusion, transforming a person into something else, but also a way of expressing or making the viewer react, observe and/or think in a different way. 

Veruschka

We covered many topics during breakfast (art, world affairs, politics, travel and parenting), and then moved on to careers. I really liked his tale of how the husband embarked on his career as a voice-over specialist and gained his influential professional mentor and so I will share it here…

voice-over microphone

Being gifted as a mimic and able to produce a range of sounds and voices, he knew from when he was a child that he wanted to be an actor and do voice-overs. Aged 16 he wrote to Paul Frees, who was recognised as being the leading expert in the field and even today is known as the “Man of a Thousand Voices”. He drafted a letter to him “Dear Mr Frees, I am writing because I wish to become a voice-over specialist…” then crossed this out and, on the same sheet of paper wrote “ This is an important letter, Dear secretary or assistant to Mr Frees, I appreciate that you probably receive and have to respond to many letters such as this. I admire Mr Frees work and wondered whether he would be prepared to offer some advice…” , he then scored this too out on the page and underneath commenced writing again “Dear Cleaner, thank you for un-crushing this ball of crumpled waste paper you have found in the trash. It was a letter to Mr Frees seeking his advice and guidance, but he is a busy man…” He then popped the letter in an envelope and posted it to Paul Frees in California. Frees wrote back saying “the cleaner gave me your letter…” Frees asked for a demo tape and said that if it was good he would try to help him but that if it was not up to the required standard he would not respond. Frees liked the tape and a friendship was formed with Frees acting as a mentor and valued advisor until his death in 1986. The impact of the letter composed by an ambitious 16 year old just goes to show how important first impressions can be.

After breakfast we bid our farewells – the Canadian couple to continue their post-Festival tour of Eastern Europe, while I and my family decided to visit the Museum of Illusions here in Zagreb. There were no transformational body paintings, although there were a number of trompe l’oeil and other mind-baffling illusions. I enjoyed the Ames room, which tricks the viewer into believing that two people apparently standing in adjacent corners of a room are respectively a lanky giant and a fat midget – as demonstrated in this picture of my son and me.

  

I have seen this used to great effect in theatrical shows – most recently at the excellent immersive show, Alice’s Adventures Underground, in London. Appearances are important, but perhaps not as important as knowing who you are, as Alice says to the Caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland:

''I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not myself, you see.''

This leads me to a point made by Edward de Bono, when he was interviewed in the Guardian back in 2007 (it is an article worth reading in full):

“Studies have shown that 90% of error in thinking is due to error in perception. If you can change your perception you can change your emotion and this can lead to new ideas.”

I must confess that I rather wish that both President Trump and Kim Jong-Un would consider donning different hats (as recommended by de Bono); escalating aggression seldom resolves conflict and the current bellicose threatening of ‘fire and fury” does not seem to me to be likely to result in a positive outcome for any of us. But then, it all comes down to perception.

Views into Another World - Day 56

Day 56 (25th January 2015)

56 - the exact number of curls in Shirley Temple's hair when a child actress

Her mother, Gertrude, gave her ringlets similar to those of the silent movie star Mary Pickford 

Shirley Temple inadvertently caused Graham Greene to write "The Power and the Glory". 

He had been a film critic, but his comments on her performance in "Wee Willie Winkie": 

"Her admirers "“ middle-aged men and clergymen "“ respond to her dubious coquetry, 

to the sight of her well-shaped and desirable little body, packed with 

enormous vitality, only because the safety curtain of story and dialogue drops 

between their intelligence and their desire", resulted in a libel action. 

Following this Greene resigned and left the UK to travel in Mexico, 

a trip which inspired his masterpiece.

Alex Moyle is the Managing Director of Selzig Consulting, based in Bristol (Selzig is word of Scandinavian origin meaning "to serve" - Alex is a specialist in sales and his business focuses on helping organisations to enhance revenue and growth through customer service and talent management - serving clients and employees). Prior to setting up his own business, Alex spent over 15 years with global recruitment experts, Robert Half, where, having proved himself an able senior consultant (he was a branch manager) he became a specialist in training and developing employees and was the UK Director of talent Development. Alex is married and lives with his family near Bristol. He is active on social media (his Twitter handle is @Alex_Moyle) and a regular blogger on LinkedIn.

**************************************************

Everything we see, hear, smell and think is tainted by perspective. My favourite quote of all time is in Act 2 Scene 2, Lines 246 to 247 from Hamlet where Hamlet says to Rozencrantz:

"Why, then, ’tis none to you, for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” 

What I love about the quote is that it reminds you that, whatever situation you find yourself in, it is what you think that decides the perspective you see.

Marcus Aurelius has a similar opinion to that of Shakespeare

However a challenge for us all is that the decisions we make and the perspective we choose is more often than not a subconscious one.

Dali's painting: Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee
around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening
often cited as a depiction of the subconscious influencing thoughts

Worse still is that, if we are not consciously aware of the perspective from which we see situations, how are we to be conscious in seeing the perspectives of others as we live our lives?

No one wants to be the boss that is seen as uncaring or or self-centred, only concerned with our own view on the world.  Or, in the best case, wandering through life thinking everyone likes you, but mysteriously spending Christmas Day on your own.

So what are the conscious triggers that you can use to encourage you to see life from another perspective? 

• Try reading a different news paper or news website than usual and, rather than disagreeing with the view points you read, think “what is making them think like that?" If you read the Telegraph try the Guardian, etc...

The Sun vs.Daily Mirror - contrasting opinions
Headlines for Thursday 6th May 2010 UK election

• When your husband, wife or partner is frustrated with something you have done, rather than defend ask yourself “what are they seeing that I am not that is making them respond in this way?"

• When someone in your team is complaining about the company, rather than immediately defend the situation with the company line ask them “why is it you think that?"

• When your boss delivers change that you do not perceive as positive, think “what is the business trying to achieve from this change?”  This may seem strange but, in the main, companies do not set out to deliberately make their staff unhappy.

• When you are confronted by an unhappy customer whom you feel is being unreasonable, ask your self “how would I feel if I had this happen to me?"

More often that not once you start asking yourself these questions another world opens up that is different than the one you see today. 

Strange things may start happening to you.  You may find that you think a little longer before you respond, instead of defaulting to your pre-programmed way; you may be slightly less judgemental knowing the person annoying you may have good reason for behaving that way. You never know, you may even start reading a different paper, voting differently or switch your football team from the blues to the reds...

David Bowie - "Changes" from the album Hunky Dory, 1971

It would be great to get your ideas and suggestions on things you should ask yourself in situations where you probably could do with pausing and seeing things from a different perspective. 

Comments below please.

Perceiving our Paths - Day 14

Day 14

14 - number of legs on a woodlouse.
Despite looking like insects, woodlice are crustaceans (the only land based ones on Earth).
Woodlice don't urinate, instead they excrete nitrogenous waste as ammonia gas.
They can drink using their anus or absorb water through their exoskeleton.
Exact replica of a Woodlouse by UK based steel sculptor Will Carr

Today's post is by Tim Scott. I have huge admiration and respect for Tim (and he also makes me laugh). He is Head of People and OD at Brook. As he says on his LinkedIn profile, he sees his goal as being "to make things better wherever I am and whatever I'm doing". He is witty and engaging - a true delight to converse with on Twitter (you can follow him via @TimScottHR) or IRL. Tim is a great guy to turn to if you want musical inspiration, in addition to advice or a jolly good chat.

**************************************************************

December arrives and our thoughts inevitably turn backwards. Our minds range over the preceding eleven months. How has it compared to the version we imagined as the clock struck midnight on the 1st January? As we swayed along to "Auld Lang Syne" or raised a glass of something quietly to see in the New Year, was this the path we imagined we'd follow - are we where we hoped we'd get to?

Sometimes a year brings unforeseen success, either personally or professionally. 

Sometimes a year brings consolidation - not slipping too far backwards in our perception of how life is, but not moving too far forwards either. 

Sometimes a year brings unexpected tragedy. Thoughts turn to people we have lost, either through their passing or simply the passage of time or events. 

Sometimes, being human and therefore a mass of contradictory and contrary aspirations, a year brings all three in different aspects of our lives.

Where do you feel you are on this continuum? 

Not strictly a continuum but it is a pleasant illustration
of the two phases of vibration as a pendulum swing

If we aren't careful of course, we can fall prey to perception at this point. With any event or situation in our lives, we are in charge of how we perceive it: generally speaking, those of us who are lucky enough to be in fair health have the ability to make a conscious decision about how we use both difficult and positive situations. 

The great Douglas Adams wrote two (and a half, to be precise) novels about the self-styled "holistic detective" Dirk Gently. Rather than follow a linear set of clues to solve the mysteries in which he became involved, Gently believed in "the Fundamental Interconnectedness of Things". In other words, every occurrence is linked, even if the linkage isn't immediately apparent. Therefore, he could do practically anything to help him solve a case, including spending three weeks on a beach in Barbados. The business model didn't work well (he claimed never to have ripped anyone off as none of his clients ever actually paid him) but I think he was onto something with the Interconnectedness concept.

Interconnected - bronze by German sculptor Abraham David Christian

"The helix-shaped Interconnected Sculpture symbolises logical 

connection, interrelatedness and correspondence." 

When we reflect on events, we internalise them and often choose to take certain "lessons" from them. If our perception is that the event in question had a positive outcome, we use it as a template for how we handle similar future scenarios. If we perceive that the event was less positive, we try to avoid the same situation occurring or at least commit to handling it differently. 

In this sense, everything is connected. Because of our ability to draw abstract conclusions, we use events we have experienced in the past - which may be entirely unrelated - to inform our future behaviour. 

Shadows from the past can influence our future

We often talk about an experience in absolute terms: it was either good or bad. Whilst there are of course some experiences that are just that, for most of us, most of the time, it's far more subtle than that. We can - and do - draw inferences about how we should handle the future from the past. 

We have only limited control over the path our lives follow - but we have almost total control over our perception of it and, as we look back on 2014, we should all try to keep that in mind.

Perception from Breakdown of Sanity's album "Perception", 2013