Who do we choose to be? - Day 20

Day 20 (Wednesday 20th December 2017)

20 metres is the minimum height of the Christmas tree erected every year since 1947 

in Trafalgar Square, London. The tradition commenced in 1947, when the Norwegians 

offered a Norway Spruce to the British as a token of gratitude for support in the Second World War. 

Each tree is 50-60 years old. The tree is cut in Norway in November, during a ceremony attended 

by the British Ambassador to Norway, Mayor of Oslo, and Lord Mayor of Westminster.

The tree is lit on the 1st Thursday of December at a special ceremony with bands and a choir. 

It remains a focal point for carol singing and poetry until just before Twelfth Night when it is taken 

to be recycled into mulch. It is always lit with simple lights.

Please whisper... it was a good night last night, but I am a tad tired.

Today's inspirational post is written by Helen Green, the founding director of the specialist change consultancy Orient8 Consulting Limited. A former FTSE 250 Director, Helen decided to leave conventional corporate life and found her own firm in 2011. Helen is a psychologist by initial training (indeed she still works occasionally as an associate consultant for the occupational psychologists Rothwell Douglas). She is also a much-valued coach. Helen believes in kindness and does her bit to make the world a better place, for example she volunteers as a coach at the charity Save the Children and she is very supportive of those wishing to learn via social media. You can connect with her on Twitter (her handle  @orient8you). She writes an occasional, informative, business focused blog 

via her company website - here is the link. 

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In 2017, I have continued to be inspired by the work of Dr. Margaret (Meg) Wheatley, both in person and via her brilliant writing. This is an extract from her bio:

“Margaret Wheatley writes, teaches and speaks about how we can use our power and influence and willingly step forward to serve this troubling time. As things grow darker and more difficult, she summons us to reclaim leadership as a noble profession that creates possibility and humaneness in the midst of increasing fear and turmoil, by creating Islands of Sanity.”

This year, my Advent blog draws heavily on her words. At the end, I share my my own “so what?”

From Meg’s 2017 book, “Who do we choose to be? Facing reality, claiming leadership, restoring sanity”:

“We can no longer solve the global problems of this time at large-scale levels: poverty, economics, climate change, violence, dehumanisation. Even though the solutions have been available for a very long time, they require conditions to implement them that are not available: political courage, collaboration across national boundaries, compassion that supersedes self-interest and greed.

I realised years ago that large scale change was not possible. Leaders were grasping for control, over-reacting to crises rather than thinking systemically, treating people as ‘units’ rather than as humans.

I began to challenge every leader I met with these questions: Who do you choose to be for this time? Are you willing to use whatever power and influence you have to create islands of sanity that evoke and rely on our best human qualities to create, produce, and persevere?”

So what?

Well my conclusion has been to create my own Island of Sanity. Mostly that’s about choosing more mindfully who to spend my time with, both in and out of work. It’s also about choosing more mindfully how to spend my time when I’m alone.

In Meg’s book, she writes: “Teddy Roosevelt enjoined us: Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

In my work, as a Change Consultant and Coach, I choose to “do what I can, with what I have, where I am.”

Inspired by Meg and her words, this is my take:

I can’t change the world, none of us can, but I can focus on serving others. I can offer insight and compassion. I can be present. I can stay and not flee. No matter what is going on around me, I can attend to the people in front of me and offer what I can.

It doesn’t sound very grand or ambitious, does it? It’s small. It’s do-able. And to me right now, it seems right.

Now I am asking you as a leader of your life, your family, your community, your people,

WHO DO YOU CHOOSE TO BE FOR THIS TIME?

Bouncing Back

Day 38 (Saturday 7th January 2017)

38 patients were tested for 26 weeks in April 2016 in Denmark, in a drugs trial that appears to

offer the first breakthrough in treatment for Alzheimer's sufferers. Imaging showed that Liraglutide 

maintained the brain metabolism of sufferers while in those given a placebo it decreased.

We are a week into 2017 - I hope the New Year is treating you well. 

Today's post comes from Helen Green, the Director and founder of Orient8 Consulting Limited, a business that focuses on improving performance and which helps individuals to shift their focus from "what is" to "what could be". Helen herself is an excellent executive coach and able to help individuals and teams, regardless of the challenges - check out the client testimonials on the Orient8 website. Helen has a background in Sales and Marketing for FMCG organisations and she has a genuine interest in understanding what drives behaviours. She has an MsC in Organisational Change, a Postgraduate Certificate in Executive and Business Coaching, a Systemic Team Coaching Certificate and a BSc in Psychology, having studied STEM subjects at A Level. She is well-grounded, commercial, analytical and empathetic. You can connect with her on Twitter (her handle is @orient8you)

It should come as no surprise that Helen is a thinker - her below post is full of observation and all the pictures in Japan were taken and provided by her. It is a piece that will make you, amongst other things, think about power, impact, hope, shame,  war, grief, harm, conscience, courage and resilience. It is personal but simultaneously universal. Thank you Helen.

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Bouncing back

“Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes.” Psychology Today

New Growth Sprouting Up Through the Ashes of the Spring Prairie Burn by Madison Guy

When I was contemplating what to write for this year’s series, I thought about reviewing my year with its wild ups and downs, but one memory kept coming back to me. I was held, transfixed by what I saw on a holiday to Japan this Autumn, in the delightful city of Hiroshima. It is this that I feel compelled to write about.

My Lonely Planet guide states “Leafy Hiroshima, with its wide boulevards and laid back friendliness, is a far from depressing place. Present day Hiroshima is home to a thriving and internationally minded community and it’s worth spending a couple of nights here to experience the city at its vibrant best.”

We didn’t have a couple of days, unfortunately, just a few hours before we boarded the bullet train back to Kyoto, but in the short time we had there I experienced it as a lively, attractive and friendly city.

Our limited time was largely focussed on the history of the city.

The word Hiroshima will be forever associated with the atomic bomb dropped on the city in 1945.

On the way to the Peace Memorial Museum, we passed the Atomic Bomb Dome. It was built in 1915 by a Czech architect and was the Industrial Promotion Hall until the bomb exploded almost directly above it. Everyone inside was killed, but the building was one of the very few left standing near the epicentre. The shell has been preserved as a memorial and in 1996 it was declared a Unesco World Heritage Site.

In the photograph I took that day, you can see the Atomic Bomb Dome and also the kids walking by. It was a school day and very much business as usual in 2016 Hiroshima.

Matsui Kazumi, Mayor of Hiroshima, wrote these words in the Peace declaration written on August 6^th 2016,

“1945, August 6, 8:15am. Slicing through the clear blue sky, a previously unknown ‘absolute evil’ is unleashed on Hiroshima, instantly searing the entire city. Koreans, Chinese, Southeast Asians, American prisoners of war, children, the elderly and other innocent people are slaughtered. By the end of the year, 140,000 are dead.”

It is estimated that 350,000 people were directly exposed to the bomb.

We visited the Peace Memorial Museum along with a few hundred tourists and probably a couple of thousand Japanese schoolchildren and their teachers.

We silently filed through the various rooms depicting the horrors. The schoolchildren looked at the images and artefacts without saying a word. I cried.

A few moments later, I caught the eye of another tourist. She looked as I felt, shocked, sad, raw. She said something like “it’s terrible. And the kids ………. they are being exposed to all of this……..” I nodded and with anger rising said “and those who really need to come and see this will never come.”

The last image in the main part of the Museum was this one. I stood and stared at it for a very long time.

The words are these; “That Autumn in Hiroshima where it was said ‘For seventy-five years nothing will grow’ new buds sprouted. In the green that came back to life among the charred ruins, people recovered their living hopes and courage”.

Seeds from a tree damaged by the atomic bomb dropped on
Hiroshima have been successfully grown in an Aberdeen park.

A Challenging Year

Day 27 (Sunday 27th December 2015)

27 lunar mansions or nakshatras in the Hindu, Vedic and ancient Indian astrology.
In the West people follow their solar horoscopes, in India the Moon is of greater importance
each mansion is based on the 27.3 day period it takes the Moon to traverse all 12 signs of the zodiac.
Each nakshatra is 13°20’ wide. The series begins at 0 with Aries and runs counterclockwise as above.
The nakshatras are each sub-divided into 4, making 108 sections that are used for divination
(e.g.if your Moon is at 6°. your influence is Saturn). The mansion containing your Moon and its
planet are believed to influence your future, combined with the stars for that period.

Today I am delighted to introduce Helen Green, a talented blogger who is making her first appearance in the Advent Blog series this year. Helen has a powerful background in sales and marketing, working with some of the world's leading brands, where she showed a flair for insight. She has a degree in psychology, a masters in organisational change and is an accredited executive and business coach. She is based in London and runs her own company, Orient8, which she founded in 2011. She is active on social media (you can follow her on Twitter, her handle is @orient8you). As you can guess from the title, Helen's year could be described as "coal dust" - hard found, dirty and difficult, but there is a twist. She has been brave enough to share with us some very personal moments and I am sure we can all learn from her words.

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It’s been a challenging year.

As I look back on 2015, the standout features are all bad ones.

I was out for dinner recently with good friends and recounted the story of my year to them. One of my friends seemed a bit exasperated with me. She reminded me that I have so much that is good in my life and to be thankful for, despite the challenges.

Of course she was absolutely right.

My brain is Velcro for the bad stuff and Teflon for the good.

Dr Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist and meditation teacher says in his book “Buddha’s Brain - The practical neuroscience of happiness, wisdom and love” –

“we evolved to pay great attention to unpleasant experiences. This negativity bias overlooks good news, highlights bad news, and creates anxiety and pessimism.”

Mmmmm – sounds familiar!

So the chances are your brain is just like mine and you’ve had a challenging year too.

Or have you?

Just in case, I have an insight I would like to share with you.

In July this year, as I said goodbye to my Mum just before she went into surgery, not knowing if it was for the last time, I kissed her forehead, stroked her hair and wondered what on earth I might say. Although my body was screaming at me with pain and fear, stroking her hair had a calming effect and the words started to flow.

“In the end Mum, all there is, is love. I love you.”

Twice recently I have shared this story.

The first time was with a young woman who was really struggling. She has moved half way round the world to be with her love and was trying to work out how she could pursue both of her passions – her relationship with him and the beautiful work which she feels called to do.

We were on a workshop together and I recounted my story as she listened. Tears filled my eyes as I spoke – it is still so raw and powerful - and when I took a little pause I looked at her to discover tears in her eyes too. We let the moment just be, words not necessary as we connected at some deeper level.

Soon it was time for her to tell her story whilst I listened. She told me she had been moved by my story and was starting to notice that what had felt like a tortuous either/or situation, was no longer that way. Love is everything and her love for her boyfriend and for her work mean that however hard it may be to reconcile the two, she knows she can and will do it.

The second time I recounted my story was with a friend who is going through a tricky time in his relationship. After listening to him talk for some time, I told him of my experience.

I said “in the end all there is, is love. Everything else is just stuff. You love each other - don’t let the love go.” 

I was crying again though more softly and in less pain than at my Mum’s bedside.

His response? A silence, followed by a rather breathless “wow, that’s a powerful insight. I just want to hug you.” This was not possible as we were talking on the phone at that moment, but I felt his love - that of a true friend - for me. I know too that he is in some small way changed by that conversation, that connection.

Mother Theresa said;

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

And as my favourite philosopher (!) Audrey Hepburn once said;

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

At this holiday time of year when we get to spend more time with our loved ones, let’s hold onto each other, love (and be loved) until it hurts.

After all, in the end, all there is, is LOVE.

I was mistaken – it’s been a wonderful year.

"All You Need is Love"played live at Buckingham Palace 

by Paul McCartney, Joe Cocker, Eric Clapton and Rod Stewart, 2002