The Welcome Path of Years - Day 57

Day 57 (26th January 2015)

57 - the number made famous by Henry Heinz (although at the time his company 
already had 60 products and it now sells over 5,700). He saw an advert for shoe styles 
whilst riding a train in New York in 1896 and liked the concept - 57 was chosen as it was his lucky number. 
 Heinz sells 11 billion single-serve packets of ketchup per annum (that is 2 for every person on Earth) 
Illustration - Heinz advertisement circa 1910

On realising how popular the series was becoming I planned to let the Advent Bogs cover no more than a 56 day period (the original period of Advent, which, like Lent, was a time of intermittent fasting and contemplation stretching from St Martin's Day (11th November) until Epiphany - the focus on the days of Christmas is quite recent). However, a rush of excellent late posts came in at the eleventh hour and so we are running on for a couple of extra days. What a bonus!

Today's post is by Jayne Cox who has, from almost my first days on Twitter, been a voice in my life - we often wish each other good morning and comment on one another's posts and lives. You can follow her on Twitter, her handle is @JayneMCox, or read more about her on her website where she also blogs. Jayne is a coach, she specialises in encouraging people, particularly women, to love life, to feel comfortable with who they are and to change their outlook in order to achieve their dreams. Jayne herself has overcome many hurdles (she suffered from eating disorders when younger and has coped with loss). She is an expert in supporting others with similar issues to become successful and "mind fit" people, like she herself has become. She lives with her husband Michael and a menagerie of animals including Daisie their boxer, Holly their pug and a collection cats, ducks and hens.

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I’d like to thank Kate for giving me an opportunity to be part of the Advent series of blogs and what wonderful company I’ve found myself in.

We have followed some wonderful paths in the Advent Blogs series

I often write and tweet about living life to the full and appreciating the smallest of things and I do genuinely mean it. I see life as a gift and age is testimony to the time spent living and learning. 

As I approach my 49th Birthday I did a virtual crumple of 3 previous ideas and decided to take this new path, encouraged by a twitter conversation with Hope and Sam this morning. Thanks to you both and here’s the blog I promised, fresh off the press.

The path to this age and these almost 49 years is one I feel proud to be taking, I’m eternally grateful that in my 20’s I had the opportunity to begin my recovery from anorexia nervosa. Misunderstood then and now it’s been in life since the moment of diagnosis, now it’s part of my life professionally. A troubled child and young woman, the paths I’ve taken bring me to now and I can’t help loving my years.

At times a difficult path

Society seems to fight against age, anti-ageing and fearful that age is some kind of illness, a reflection of less. I find this odd when I see it as so much more. When your life was once looking limited, I suppose it really does take on new meaning.  

Unhappy memories of abuse in my past seem far behind me, as the years have been generous and given me resilience, courage, hope and a voice once stifled. Age has given me not only a voice but a choice. In my youth I would have given my last breath just to be liked. Today I understand that I need to choose my company wisely and with me in mind. Yes making sometimes tough decisions to stay or walk away.

So 2015 also finds me taking a new path with not just me running my own business but supporting my husband Michael to do the same. An illness that rocked our world in 2013 prompted us both to take stock and look at what we were putting off until tomorrow. We realised that our tomorrow could actually become our today and our life experiences made us take action.

"Never put off till tomorrow the fun you can have today." Aldous Huxley

No we don’t believe age has to be grey, dull and unexciting. Age is now, vibrant and a time of great opportunity. Imagine believing that the best was yet to come?

If you like the idea of enjoying your numbers rather than fighting them, join us on Twitter with #LovingOURYears and share your words of encouragement and celebration.

My warmest wishes for a happy and healthy 2015

Jayne

Jayne Cox

In celebration of us older ladies

"Older Ladies" by Donnalou Stevens

A life lived well and true - Day 12

Day 12

12 months of the year, depicting rural tasks
in the Salzburg manuscript, early 800s
One of the oldest calendars of its kind
in Vienna's National Austrian Library
Image from Wikimedia Commons

I am honoured to count David Goddin as a good friend, as well as a highly effective professional expert whom I value and enjoy working with. He regularly blogs on business related matters (www.peopleperformancepotential.com) and actively uses Twitter (@ChangeContinuum) as well as other forms of social media. He has a quick, dry wit, a calm intelligence and a depth of compassion that combines with his genuine interest in others to make him stand out from the crowd. After a successful career, culminating as a COO, David founded his own business which helps others thrive, particularly during times of change. David is values driven and brave, as the following post demonstrates...

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It's funny. Trying to think about what I might write on the theme of "Paths & Perceptions" I realise just how far from "the path" I have wandered. It may not be perceptible to you or others but I see and feel it. Thinking back I see that my wandering means that I've been following many paths.

Our English Coasts, 1852 ("Strayed Sheep") - William Holman Hunt
image sourced from the Tate Gallery, London

That makes sense of the unsatisfied feeling I've had on and off. Being on many paths is clearly both stretching and unfulfilling...

Aerial view of Colarado River delta
Found on scienceclarified.com

I know that over the last year or so I've been consciously and deliberately shutting doors. Things I won't do, places I won't go, people I won't be with. It's been important and liberating. It's allowed me to focus more on being me. My perception though was that these doors were on a single path that I've been following. However, I realise that perception was not entirely true - some of those doors I had to shut weren't even on my path... bloody Twitter!

Closed Doors by Estonian artist Miraccoon

Don't get me wrong. This isn't an existential crisis. I know who I am. I know what I need. I know what I value. I know how I can create value. However, this tension can't be sustained anymore. It's ridiculous to even try. I just need to maintain a good perception of my own path.

Is that the challenge of a life lived well and true?

Leaving behind some of those other paths I sense that in liberation there is both a perception of danger and opportunity. A perception that it will test friendships and relationships. I could fail or fall... It's testing my faith and my confidence. There is no other way though is there?

Brave Steps
(bridge in Northern Pakistan)

So I'm saying goodbye and in some cases good riddance to the other paths. I'm sharing my path freely with those important to me, to help them have a truer perception of it and of me. I need their support. It's probably testing how others perceive me - that's good. It's certainly testing my own resolve - that's good too.

It's still a tense time but I know that uneasy tension will pass and change into something better. My path will change and evolve with the landscape of time. I think longer term that is perhaps what I'm looking forward to the most. I trust in it. Perhaps that's the truth of the matter?

A life lived well and true comes from knowing your own path, perceiving it well and trusting it to lead you into the unseen and the unknown.

Path through Happy Valley, Orkney
from www.allfivesenses.com

Trying to UnSquiggle - Day 7

Day 7

7 - Poster art for the film "The Magnificent Seven" (1960) (a film about 7 gunmen 
hired to protect a Mexican village from bandits - it is based on 1954 film The Seven Samurai)
Many things come in 7s - Seven Wonders of the World; Seven Ages of Man;
Seven Sisters; Seven Levels of Hell; Seven Days of the Week; and Seven Dwarves. 

I have had the pleasure of working with Trevor as a colleague (of his own choice he left my current employer in August this year) and also I am proud to call him a friend. Trevor is complex, a true Polymath - an accomplished artist; financial markets expert; story teller; visionary; qualified actuary; yoga bunny; blogger; connector; continually curious and a thinker. He is always a pleasure to spend time with. Trevor is currently, deliberately, taking time out to pursue his passions and we can all learn from his experiments and journey. Follow him on Twitter @trevorblack or read his blog to learn more about his exciting adventures http://www.swartdonkey.blogspot.co.uk

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Once you know that the squiggles on a page are not squiggles but words, you cannot unsee them. It is impossible to ignore their meaning. Sticking to a well-known, well-loved path can be comfortable. Most of what we believe is based on stories constructed to help us make sense of what is going on in the world. All stories require a suspension of disbelief to enjoy. They require leeway to weave their magic. I love stories and have, since I was very young, really wanted to believe in the stories. I had a habit of seeing squiggles with meaning that I didn’t want to see. I had a habit of finding and diving into inconsistencies, trying to reconstruct a story that I could really believe in. A habit of walking off track.

Trevor in his studio

Some squiggles become words. Some are just meant to be felt.

The stories we tell ourselves are path-dependent. The plot depends on where we are born, our level of wealth, the story of our family so far, and the people and experiences we stumble across. One of the challenges we face in the world is that we forget how we learnt what we have learnt along the way, and we are more comfortable speaking to people who have had similar experiences. We are so convinced of the soundness of our logic that we struggle to understand how good people could possibly disagree with us on the really important stuff.

Advent is a story of waiting and preparation for a celebration. I am an optimist. I believe the world has made tremendous progress in conquering some of the bigger challenges we face. We are chipping away at ignorance. We are learning to listen to other people’s stories while suspending our own disbelief. We are starting to hear the music behind the tales of others. Each chip made, story heard, and song felt is a step closer to celebration. We don’t need to break down other people’s stories if they aren’t hurting others. We do need to break down stories if they are. The bigger story is one of multiple interlocking paths.

Relativity, M.C. Escher, Lithograph, 1953
(c) The M.C Escher Company - the Netherlands. All rights reserved
Used by permission. http://www.mcescher.com

Jonathan Haidt’s book ‘The Righteous Mind’ on why good people are divided by Politics and Religion really got me interested in the path of becoming a better story teller. To become a better story teller we need to get better at really listening to others' stories. This is not just about listening to their logic before pointing out the holes, it is about making a real effort to un-see the writing you have learnt to view in the squiggles. It is about letting go of your context, to see the music, art, dance, drama and poetry behind why people believe what they do. We all need to do this. Then when it is your chance to tell your story, others will understand.

Exciting times.