Street Smart

When did you last make meaningful time for yourself?  How often do you take time to get things straight, set time aside to do some important personal thinking, create space to contemplate the things that really matter in your life? I would be the first to admit that all too often I allow myself to be sucked into the maelstrom of modern, urban existence. I work long hours, I juggle tasks and don’t always give the people that matter to me the time that they deserve.

I appreciate that I am blessed in so many ways – people tell me I am creative, intuitive, commercial, compassionate, smart, numerate, articulate, in a senior role in a prestigious organisation with wonderful friends and family. However, I am a slower learner than I care to admit – for years I have worked long hours to afford the life and provide the foundations that I want for my family, and to establish a meaningful career. I have loved watching people around me grow and have gone out of my way to help others succeed, sometimes even when they claim my work and ideas as their own. However, the life I live is demanding and takes its toll and my parents cursed me with a deep sense of duty - I will persevere long after most people have given up and gone home. I will think and think about things, trying to devise solutions and create opportunities for those whom I care about. Regardless of the toll it takes on me, I keep ploughing on.

Ploughing the hard way, 1910

It took me two hours last Friday to realise the error of my ways and also to figure out a better route going forward. That’s not to say that everything I have been doing is wrong or bad, far from it, indeed some things I will be doing much more of – all I have done is realise what’s important to me and how I can better prioritise.

I have come to appreciate that if you can’t care for you and make yourself the best you can be, how can you assume that you can care for or help others? Over this Friday lunchtime I watched two wonderful people give themselves a bit of time and serious thought to help sort out a few things they were troubled by. Last Friday I had a similar experience myself.

Let me explain…

I was told of an event happening in central London, being hosted by a group called Street Wisdom and thought that it sounded interesting. Unsure of quite what to expect, I arrived at Trafalgar Square shortly before noon to meet up with my designated host – an engaging fellow called Matt. I had been told to come armed with an important question that I needed to resolve.  I struggled with this – there are so many things I need to resolve, including, but not limited to how to: 

• see more of my mother, who is seriously ill and lives a three hour journey from my home;
• care for my autistic sister when my mother can no longer do so;
• better support my own children who are at important stages in their lives;
• stop working round the clock;
• start being a more effective mentor for the wonderful orphan I support in Kenya;
• ensure that I give more of my time to being a conscientious Governor at Guy’s & St. Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust - I really care about the health, wellbeing and future of the community in which I live and the wider global issues concern me;
• keep earning sufficient money to support my family;
• have more fun;
• do more creative stuff;
• start seeing more of my father, who was once my best friend;
• learn to relax more;
• gain deeper appreciation for my team and their contribution at work;
• spend more time with the birds and the bees (no innuendo intended);
• enable my employer to achieve, and ideally exceed, the next stage of its envisaged strategy;
• enjoy time doing things I love with people who inspire me or for whom I can make a difference; and
• make the world a better place.

All pretty big stuff – well they seem so to me.  How to choose just one, or to narrow the above into a single meaningful question that would help me going forward… It was David who made the obvious comment that what I need to do is to ask how to prioritise, rather than trying to select a single question from my list.  I appreciate that prioritisation is a problem for most of us. I am not proud of the fact that I suddenly found myself trying to juggle so many important things that I felt overwhelmed. But I am only human.

I am not going to explain what happened at Street Wisdom, but I will share the images and thoughts that had an impact on me.  All of the photos were taken in and around the Trafalgar Square area and represent my interpretation of what I saw and how it helped me figure out what I have been doing wrong and how I need to change.

This ship is just inside the entrance of the South African Embassy – for me it symbolised the fact that I am on a journey, full of hope

When considering my life I began to realise that it is dominated by Fortitude

Sacrifice

Devotion

and Humanity 

(I suppose it has to be really, given that I am an HR Director and Governor for one of the UK’s leading NHS Foundation Trusts) – clearly I am not in Edith Cavell’s league – she was a British nurse who aided Allied soldiers trapped in German-occupied Belgium, was caught, tried and executed by firing squad in 1915. All of the above photos come from her memorial, which also states her last words said at dawn to the chaplain before her execution: “Patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness for anyone.” A further lesson for me – the only person to sort things out for me is myself, I cannot blame or dislike others for my discomfort or turmoil.

Only I can release myself from the issues that feel to be binding me

I have time (sorry – thyme), but, for change to work, it needs my personal commitment.

On my travels I chatted with the stagehands unloading props for the English National Opera at the Coliseum Stage Door – they told me that they loved their lives, and were too busy to worry about prioritising, they “just got on with what needed to be done”.

I began to appreciate that I over complicate things for myself. I over-intellectualise and think too much. I should learn to go where my path takes me without agonising so much about the destination.

I need to let go, to get rid of undesirable thoughts and stop participating in unpleasant aspects of my life. 

Although I have felt trapped (just like the ball impaled on this pub sign),

Life could be so much worse, 

in fact there is a cornucopia of fun, reward and enjoyment 

if I would just stop worrying and go with the flow

It is possible to change and rebuild

I know that I need strong personal foundations, otherwise I will be unfit to support others.

Ò

I simply need to peel off the layers of distraction

I am strong and have great people around me whom I love, especially my family – indeed, with hindsight I am surprised that my priorities were not obvious to me

The key to success lies inside me

The only barriers to a happier and easier future are those I have made for myself – what appeared solid was no more than shadows

To celebrate my newfound clarity of thought I treated myself to an artisan ice cream – Rosemary for remembrance, honey for a sweeter future, full of zest (orange in this instance!)

I found my time with Street Wisdom a powerful and positive experience, so much so that I spontaneously created a mini Street Wisdom session on Friday for two employees at work, whom I do not know well. I was aware that they both were struggling with different issues in their lives.  I felt that they might benefit from time to give themselves space to think things out. It worked brilliantly, all three of us were glowing when we returned to the office and I was delighted to have been able to facilitate the experience for them.

I am committed to doing it again, both in London (once with some of the original team I met on the steps of St Martin’s and once with an open group who want to answer questions and learn about the approach) and in Edinburgh, other locations are also being considered. David and Simon, who attended the first session at the same time as me, will be facilitating the open sessions with me – they too found Street Wisdom a valuable and powerful experience.

Let me know if you are interested in taking part.

Transcending Trouble

It may not feel like spring, but the year is on the turn - delicate crocuses have thrust their way through the iron-hard soil in my garden and the blackbirds have commenced building a nest in the ivy on the back wall.  Even without the external indicators, it is impossible not to think of renewal and growth - since last weekend I have been surrounded by eggs and images of chicks and ducklings.  To escape the traditional Easter chocolates, we had some eggs with small cardboard figurines inside, which grew crystalline “fur” and “feathers” once a solution was drawn up through the paper by capillary action and then evaporated.  

Outside, the roses are beginning to awake, small scarlet leaves sprouting from what only a couple of weeks ago looked like dead twigs (more capillary action as they begin drawing nutrients from the soil up through their stems).  Given the burgeoning new-life surrounding me, I would not have be overly surprised if a Phoenix had flown across the the garden on its pilgrimage to Heliopolis.  As it was, I had to make do with a sparrow-hawk, that settled on a branch near the bird-feeders, much to the concern of the blue tits.  An extraordinary sight in central London.

However, despite the signs that spring is finally on its way, the seemingly never-ending snow and cold is wearing.  Just like the grinding impact of the current economic environment within the UK - the austerity measures that have been introduced are impacting on all and some will feel it even more keenly as from today when major changes to the UK benefits and tax system are introduced ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21865942 ).  We need to be resilient - both in and outside work.  No wonder I have been thinking of the Phoenix - the mythical bird that rises from ashes to thrive.  It is perhaps the archetypal symbol of resilience.  Interestingly, like many resurrection legends, the myth of a bird that is reborn after cremation is a global phenomenon - although the story and the attributes of the bird itself vary slightly from continent to continent.   

Phoenix depicted in 12th century Aberdeen Bestiary

The Phoenix is universally depicted as a solitary and wonderful bird.  In Western Europe we usually think of the Phoenix as described by Ovid:

"Most beings spring from other individuals; but there is a certain kind which reproduces itself.  The Assyrians call it the Phoenix.  It does not live on fruit or flowers, but on frankincense and odiferous gums.  When it has lived five hundred years, it builds itself a nest in the branches of an oak, or on the top of a palm tree.  In this it collects cinnamon, and spikenard, and myrrh, and of these materials builds a pile on which it deposits itself, and dying, breathes out its last breath amidst odours.  From the body of the parent bird, a young Phoenix issues forth, destined to live as long as its predecessor.  When this has grown up and gained sufficient strength, it lifts its nest from the tree (its own cradle and its parent's sepulchre), and carries it to the city of Heliopolis in Egypt, and deposits it in the temple of the Sun."

Belgian €10 coin to commemorate 60 years of peace in Europe

and Tacitus adds to this:

"The first care of the young bird as soon as fledged, and able to trust to his wings, is to perform the obsequies of his father. But this duty is not undertaken rashly. He collects a quantity of myrrh, and to try his strength makes frequent excursions with a load on his back. When he has gained sufficient confidence in his own vigour, he takes up the body of his father and flies with it to the altar of the Sun, where he leaves it to be consumed in flames of fragrance."

Ancient Egyptians revered a Phoenix-like bird called the Benu, whose name means "to rise".  In appearance it resembled a heron or stork with long legs and it was associated with the Sun god.  There is speculation that the myth of the bird rising from ashes originated from people observing flamingoes in East Africa - they live on salt flats, where the searing heat is too severe for eggs to survive if laid on the ground.  The birds build high mounds on which to raise their offspring.  Although the knoll-top is marginally cooler than the parched surface below, the shimmer of heat around the hillocks can resemble smoke and give the semblance of fire.  Flamingoes are part of the family Phoenicopteridae, from the generic name Phoenicopterus or "phoenix winged".

In Chinese mythology the Phoenix, called the Feng-huang or Fung, which translates as the "vermillion bird" or the "substance of flame", was the symbol of the Empress (usually when depicted in conjunction with the Emperor's dragon). It is formed of various elements and is highly symbolic - its pheasant's head with a cock's comb symbolises the sun, its back (supposedly that of a swallow) represents the moon, its wings are the wind, its tail the flowers and trees and its feet the earth.  In addition it is used to represent the five virtues - its comb is for righteousness, its tongue utters sincerity and, according to ancient Chinese ritual, 

"its voice chants melody, its ear enjoys music, its heart conforms to regulations, its breast contains the treasures of literature, and its spurs are powerful against transgressors" 

Chinese embroidery of a Phoenix, c1860

It is not just in oriental mythology that the Phoenix is used to symbolise ideals.  In the West the Phoenix has been used both as a image for renewal and immortality and also to depict the “exceptional man”.  For much of the past month I have been researching one such person, Sir Ernest Shackleton.  I will be presenting him as a case study on leadership at an executive development programme at the end of this month.  

One of the things that made Shackleton an exceptional leader was his ability to adapt and change his plans when the situation demanded it.  His initial mission was to walk across Antarctica but, once it was clear that that goal was impossible, he embraced the new challenge of getting his 27 companions safely back to civilisation.  He focused entirely on the new objective, even ordering his men to abandon scientific equipment (such as microscopes and tools for collecting specimens) that was heavy and cumbersome to transport.  He involved his men in decision making, kept the potential trouble makers close to him (even sharing the same tent) and was creative in devising solutions to obstacles.  I believe that part of the reason for his success was that he demonstrated almost indefatigable focus and energy to achieve his goal.  His commitment and his mens’ trust in his intention and efforts to get them home safely must have inspired the weaker men to keep going.  According to witnesses at the time he never expressed any doubt - it is only later, on reading his personal diary, that it is clear that he had some concerns.  On the destruction of his ship, the Endurance, by pack ice, he commented to the men

"Ship and stores have gone - so now we'll go home."

but in his diary he wrote, 

" a man must shape himself to a new mark directly the old one goes to ground, I pray God, I can manage to get the whole party to civilisation."

Like Tacitus' Phoenix, Shackleton applied himself to the task ahead.  He overcame daunting obstacles and distances, to achieve his objectives and care for his men.  He epitomises the Japanese Phoenix, a symbol of fortitude, rectitude and fidelity. 

Phoenix, Image from Imari Porcelain ware
Photo courtesy Nihon Toji Taikei magazine, Vol. 19 (Imari Ware)

So, as you admire the scarlet leaves of the roses, challenging the cold and commencing regrowth for this year, contemplate their flame-coloured sprouts and be inspired by Shackleton and the Phoenix...

(but don't symbolically give them wood ash to encourage them.  Roses prefer acidic soil and hence are more likely to appreciate coffee grounds to perk them up.) 

young rose leaves

Embroidered silk panel with Phoenix