The comet has passed and the dust has settled

Top 20 and some feedback...

What an amazing collection of posts formed this year's #Adventblogs and #PostAdventBlogs series. Thank you to all of you who wrote pieces under the theme of "Comet Tails and Coal Dust". I am amazed and delighted at the range and breadth of interpretations, as well as the global interest shown in the series. We ran to over 50 posts and the comet only passed and the dust finally settled earlier this week, so here are some observations and stats about the series.

Every post received in excess of 500 views. We had poems, personal stories, music, history, facts, humour, annual reflections and words of inspiration and encouragement. It is clear from the shares, likes and comments that the series was very popular. I love the fact that, since Alison Chisnell founded the series back in 2011, it has become an annual tradition that is valued by a large number of people around the world (and not just the authors).

As per last year, I will now provide a little more information about the series as a whole.

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Total number of views for the series: 15,895 in December and 10,990 in January (for the 20 days of the series) - NB these numbers are still rising daily.

We had people reading the blogs in over 30 countries, with the top 10 for audience numbers being:

Pageviews by Countries

Entry	Pageviews
United States	5649
United Kingdom	4589
Russia	1798
Slovakia	1039
Germany	330
Ireland	153
France	140
Poland	118
Australia	105
Ukraine	91

The twenty most popular posts, if rated by views, are: 

1. Shine a Light - an uplifting post by Mark Catchlove urging each of us to support those around us - with a total of 1864 views - made up of 1577 views directly to the blog and 287 via LinkedIn (that compares to 1467 views via the blog for the most popular post in last year's series)
   
2. Down in the Dirt - a confessional, but encouraging, piece that touches on dark places before finding the light, by Paul Clarke - with a total of 1059 views (made up of 709 views on the blog + 350 via LinkedIn)
   
3. Advent Hopes by Simon Heath, the opening post of the series, was a cheerful and witty poem - with a total of 1045 views (made up of 792 on the blog and 253 via LinkedIn)
   
4. Do you EnJoy Shopping? - A post advocating the benefits of enjoying life, by Phil Marsland - with a total of 994 views (made up of 714 views on the blog + 280 via LinkedIn)
   
5. Beyond Compare - by Fiona McBride in which she ably demonstrated the value of silencing your inner critic and giving something a go - with a total of 937 views (made up of 582 views on the blog + 355 via LinkedIn)
   
6. With Thanks to the Coal Dust - a brave and poignant post by an anonymous writer about the pain of miscarriage and the value of a caring and supportive family - it made a big impact on those who read it - with a total of 914 views (made up of 673 views on the blog + 241 via LinkedIn)
   
7. Of Nice and Men - a post about personal impact and the benefits of being nice, by Tim Scott (I can vouch from personal knowledge that Tim is one of the nicest people on social media and IRL and is mindful of the impression he makes on others) - with a total of 870 views (made up of 509 views on the blog + 361 via LinkedIn) 
   
8. A Challenging Year - in which Helen Green appreciated that things are not always as bad as they seem and came to realise that it is love that makes life worth living - with a total of 858 views (made up of 617 views on the blog + 309 via LinkedIn) 
   
9. Each Moment Counts - A moving post about friendship, love, loss and what it is to be human by Brett Fish Anderson from South Africa - with a total of 852 views (made up of 443 views on the blog + 409 via LinkedIn) 
   
10. Not All Those Who Wander are Lost - was an annual reflection combined with deeper thoughts on life by Peter Cook who concludes that it is vital to remain young at heart - with a total of 836 views (made up of 561 views on the blog + 275 via LinkedIn) 
    
11. Christmas Comet Fragments - provided a wonderful and nostalgic glimpse of a traditional British Christmas, by Mat Davies -  with a total of 782 views (made up of 521 views on the blog + 261 via LinkedIn) 
    
12. It's Behind You - is a powerful poem that can be interpreted on many levels, it was written by Amanda Arrowsmith - with a total of 832 views (made up of 469 views on the blog + 363 via LinkedIn) 
    
13. Reflected Brilliance and Volatility - An honest post about the occasionally fallibility in recruitment, by leading search consultant Mark Husband - with a total of 809 views (made up of 437 views on the blog + 372 via LinkedIn). Mark Husband is the MD of Cogent Search; he commenced as a humble blogger submitting his own post, but was so inspired by the pieces he read, which were written by others, that his firm the sponsored the series on LinkedIn, which explains why the LinkedIn views rose over the course of the weeks we ran. Thank you Mark. 
    
14. Dictionary of the Wind is a wonderful piece of writing by Neil Usher with the ability to inspire using words hitherto unread in the English language - a total of 761 views (made up of 489 views on the blog + 272 via LinkedIn) 
    
15. Anger over Fear - a thought-provoking post, by Khurshed Dehnugara, that urges us to consider and appreciate why we and others react as we do - with a total of 758 views (made up of 422 views on the blog + 336 via LinkedIn) 
    
16. Awesome Diamonds by Bina Briggs told us about some inspirational people in her family and advocated appreciation for all those wonderful friends and people around us - with a total of 757 views (made up of 415 views on the blog + 342 via LinkedIn) 
    
17. Turn Down the Light  - a personal confession by Gary Cookson that he does better in job interviews when he is simply himself (as indeed we all do). It's nearly February, I'm looking forward to finding out which organisation was fortunate enough to hire him - with a total of 755 views (made up of 459 views on the blog + 296 via LinkedIn) 
    
18. Comet Tails and Dust Trails by Siobhan Sheridan, who I am confident will become one of the great HR bloggers going forward. She wrote a post that wove together stories, ancient history, modern research and the ability to change your perspective and move with the times - with a total of 754 views (made up of 478 views on the blog + 276 via LinkedIn) 
    
19. In For a Penny, In for a Pound - an important post about mental health and how it is viewed in the work place, by Alice Cowell - with a total of 730 views (made up of 524 views on the blog + 206 via LinkedIn) 
    
20. Illuminate Your Stars and Let Your Diamonds Shine - an uplifting post by Donna Hewitson that emphasises the value of cherishing and encouraging others, to help them shine - with a total of 686 views (made up of 428 views on the blog + 258 via LinkedIn) 
    

One of the extraordinary things about the above list is that there are so many new voices, some, like Brett Fish or Mark, were virgins to the series, having not followed it in previous years. Others, such as Paul, had encouraged people behind the scenes, but added their own voice this year - I am so glad to have them with us. It is worth noting that a few, who were former followers of the series, used this year as an opportunity to write their first ever blog (indeed that was partially the theme of Fiona's post). Congratulations, amongst others, to Fiona and Siobhan. The enthusiasm shown towards the posts, and the comments people have left, clearly show how much their writing was appreciated. I do hope that they will continue to write and perhaps start a blog of their own. 

To my mind all the contributors, and not just those in the most viewed top 20, are stars. Without you there would be no series.

In my next update I will provide some information on the wonderful and imaginative ways in which people tackled a challenging theme. In the meantime, I hope 2016 has got off to a brilliant start for you. Thanks to the pleasures of hosting the series, it certainly has for me.

The Art of Leaving

From being a teenager onwards my father has delighted in teasing me with the following rhyme (written by Ogden Nash in the 1930s, when women wearing trousers were frowned upon): 

Sure, deck your lower limbs in pants;

Yours are the limbs, my sweeting.

You look divine as you advance –

Have you seen yourself retreating?

This is neither a post about sartorial elegance nor a debate as to whether the female figure suits a skirt better than britches, instead it is a few thoughts on “retreating” – leaving a job and saying goodbye.

The Antarctic survivors on Elephant Island waving farewell
to Shackleton and the James Caird crew, April 24 1916 

During my career I have encountered many “retreats”, some simple resignations because an employee has an attractive offer that will forward their career or quality of life, others forced departures due to sickness, personal circumstances, inappropriate conduct or business need. I must confess to finding the latter, which are predominantly accomplished through redundancies, particularly challenging, as they impact on people’s lives and yet the exit decisions are made by the business according to organisationally defined criteria, often with little thought to the impact that verdicts will have on the individuals and their families. No matter how much you stress that the exits are not a reflection on those who are impacted (both the people leaving and those left behind), but are based on an assessment of the roles they fulfil, it is hard for those selected (unless they have opted for voluntary redundancy) not to feel their forced departure on a very personal level.  I see one of business leaders’ and HR’s primary roles as ensuring that leavers, as well as joiners, have as good an experience as possible.

I discovered yesterday that I have been included in a book, How To Stand Out, by Dr. Rob Yeung, the leading UK psychologist, author and orator – he and I have known each other for over a decade, having worked together and I hold him and his work in high regard. Nearly a year ago, we had an interesting discussion about careers, values and impact; I thought what I had said were just words lost in the breeze at the end of the evening, but, in addition to acknowledging my desire to continuously learn and grow, he picked up on my determination to always treat people with respect and understanding, especially during times of change and transition. In the book he has used some examples from my past to illustrate how businesses can achieve the best outcomes both for themselves and exiting employees.  In 2008/9 my team and I went out of our way to secure new roles for people who were being made redundant, when we had to lay off 20% of the workforce. We flew HR directors and recruiters in from overseas locations where there were opportunities, to enable them to select their new hires from our excellent staff. All parties were happy with the outcome. In my opinion, the world would be a better place if more people considered the impact they have on those around them and made an effort to soften the blow, so that those leaving and those left behind can get on with life without undue anxiety. Seven years later I am still in contact with (and friends with) many of the people who set out on new paths at that time. Some have even thanked me for the opportunity it presented that has changed their lives for the better and commented on the consideration I showed during tough times – even now their comments are a truly humbling experience.

The need for respect works both ways – when a person chooses to leave their employer, the manner in which they resign and then conduct themselves in the lead up to and following their departure is important.  In reality, few people wish to go leaving a lasting bad taste in the mouth of their former boss and colleagues (and this is not just because they are concerned at getting a bad reference); who knows what the future will hold? I have on more than one occasion been involved in an acquisition where there are employees on the other side who find themselves becoming colleagues again with people they thought they had said “goodbye” to. So, my advice is be careful what you say in your resignation letter – although, there are times when you have a duty to inform the company as to what is causing your departure, especially if ethics or workplace issues are involved. If there are things that can be done to make a better environment then you have a duty to explain, as the information should be used to improve the workplace for others after you have gone. 

One of the most popular resignation themed posts on Forbes is a very frank explanation by a recruiter as to why she felt compelled to leave. It is clear from follow up interviews with her that she has no regrets at being so honest and that her letter has acted as inspiration for others. However, a resignation should not simply be an opportunity for revenge and bad-mouthing. 

Despite the end of the Job-for-life there is a duty of trust and care that rests on both an employee and their employer. Individuals are expected to work to the best of their ability whilst employed, in exchange for a salary and benefits, the chance to develop and a suitable place to work; in return an employer should respect those who toil for the benefit of the business. Managers and leaders should do their best to treat staff with courtesy – communicating in an honest and open manner, paying a fair wage and treating employees with trust and appreciation.

Advice to those about to leave: 

• tell your boss first, before you speak with others– your manager/supervisor should never find out via someone else that you are planning to go;
• discuss the timing of your departure and, if needs be, agree to stay until a certain matter is concluded or goal achieved;
• once the decision is made and public, refrain from talking overmuch about your new opportunity;
• stay focused on what needs to be done to ensure a professional departure; remain considerate to others especially as some of them may be having to take on some of your tasks and responsibilities;
• offer to help and leave detailed notes or provide a personal handover for those who will have to pick up where you will leave off;
• be appreciative - use the opportunity of your departure to thank people and provide feedback  to them (positive as well as constructive) – this may be your most important legacy; and
• contemplate what went well and what you could have done better in your old role - were there things you loved or are particularly pleased to have done? Are there situations, types of people or aspects of your job that you should avoid in the future? Learn from your mistakes and figure out how to improve on your triumphs, so that you can develop your skills and be even better in your next role.

The best departures are those where you appreciate that the time is right to go but retain the memories and an appreciation of the benefits and the good things you gained from the time with your employer and colleagues.. In the words of the Pulitzer Prize winner, Ellen Goodman:

There’s a trick to the Graceful Exit. It begins with the vision to recognise when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over – and to let go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its value.

And finally, be happy and celebrate the good times (both those that you have enjoyed with your employer and those yet to come). Fireworks may be excessive but farewell drinks are the norm…

Washington's Farewell by Alonzo Chappel, 1866

So to end where I started, and close with a “retreat”, namely a piece of military history and pageantry that would provide a spectacular finale to the end of anyone’s employment – Beating Retreat. This ceremony was originally called the “watch setting” and occurred at sunset by the firing of a single round from the evening gun. It has its origins in the early days of chivalry, when it was customary to end the day’s fighting by signalling to soldiers to return to camp and to commence the mounting of the guard for the night. In 1690 James II of England ordered the use of drums to beat an order for troops to retreat, this was expanded in 1694, by William III, who proposed that regimental drummers respond to the initial notification. Beating Retreat is now one of the most spectacular military ceremonies in many countries around the world. So I shall sign off with pomp, ceremony and a grand climax of fireworks. Farewell.

Give me an F

This blog post has been written for the Feedback Carnival, “Feedback would happen all the time if…” conceived and curated by Helen Amery.  

Groans and moans, hands over ears and startled looks at your neighbour, perhaps a nervous laugh and, almost certainly, a sense of relief when it’s over – most of us have experienced the screech of feedback from speakers at a concert or via a public address system. I do a lot of video calls and conferencing with colleagues around the world, although the technology is greatly improved from its early days, there are still times when we suffer audio feedback and our voices are echoed, distorted or delayed – and the conversation becomes awkward. Feedback can be tricky.

Mind you, even audio feedback can be good and/or serve a purpose. Lou Reed’s 1975 album, accurately entitled, Metal Machine Music, supposedly was created entirely from feedback. It is not to everyone’s taste, but it was avant-garde and, even if you don’t like it, you can appreciate the influence it has had on others (ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYtzNl48F60). Other, less dissonant, music has relied on feedback for its impact – Jimi Hendrix’s rendition of Wild Thing at the Monterey Festival (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9j9piGxwE4)

Or the Beatles’ I Feel Fine, recorded in October 1964, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZaxUpe9T0Y). This is one of the first instances where feedback was recorded on purpose, with Paul McCartney plucking an A on his bass, while John Lennon stood very close to the amplifier to create an extended “twang” through the pickups.

When Helen suggested that people write a piece on the theme of Feedback, for her carnival, I am sure that she was thinking of feedback within the work environment, not audio feedback, but the concept is the same – people are hesitant or unnerved because it can be painful, unpleasant or difficult and sometimes feedback can be manipulative.

The problem is as much with the receiver as the giver – the manner in which we ask, hear and react to observations, as well as the way in which we are told, is the root as to why feedback is seen as difficult and often avoided.

Audio feedback is caused by issues between the microphone that captures the sound, the amplifier that increases the power or impact of the signal and the speaker that projects the noise at a desired audio frequency. Our brains are a bit like the microphone – the thoughts, comments or reactions to what is being said commence here. Our attitude resembles the amplifier – the mood and emotional reaction that we have will impact the way in which a message is conveyed or received. And finally, the speaker is like the mouth speaking or reacting to the message – the tone, volume and nuances in the way that the feedback is delivered or heard (perceived or actual) are the deciding factor as to how the feedback is received.

In some areas of life feedback is the norm. It is hard to imagine a sportsman or athlete not wishing to improve and hence not listening to feedback. Animal trainers and sports coaches both recommend that feedback is provided as swiftly as possible. My sons still laugh about the sight of their grandmother diving across a room to grab a young cat who had just tried to spray the window – she held its nose close to the liquid dribbling down the window pane and it was clear to all that she was cross. Her much loved and devoted cat, Max, is now an elderly, well-behaved tom – I am sure that he learned “the house rules” because of being given swift feedback as soon as it was appropriate.

Max with his sister Molly

Although feedback at work is often problematical, feedback per se is not the issue. Most of us monitor our behaviour and reactions and provide evaluation to ourselves as either kinaesthetic (internal) feedback – i.e. what you feel during or after practicing a skill or doing something (such as “I hit the ball too hard and hence it travelled too far”) or via external data and observations – this could be verbal comments from a coach, colleague or friend; written information such as on an observation sheet or a training “Happy Sheets”; or else some other external input e.g. visual – such as seeing yourself on video; or knowledge based – from analysing data or results and comparing yourself to others (part of the basis of psychometric testing). As humans we seek feedback and confirmation, as we are often insecure and hence want to understand how we are perceived (witness the success of tests such as this one, which I enjoyed: http://quizly.io/quiz/1671/begin/1 )

Feedback is a constant in so many areas of our lives. Yesterday I had a problem with my mobile – after lengthy discussions with customer service, eventually we sorted the matter out. Within 2 minutes of my ending the call I received a series of texts asking me to rate my experience and to score the provider and their employee’s ability to resolve my problems. This request for feedback is a typical aspect of modern life. Giving and receiving feedback can prove as uncomfortable online as it is offline. Last November a couple were fined £100 for giving a hotel a bad review on Trip Advisor – describing the establishment they had stayed in as a “rotten stinking hovel” - many of us read the story. In our digital world little remains secret for long and many sellers encourage feedback to boost sales, but, just like in the off-line, work environment, some people find criticism hard to take.

However, sometimes feedback is given not so much for the benefit of the receiver but for the delight of a wider audience – witness the customer reviews on many e-tail sites, here are a glorious selection that have amused me:

1       AutoExec Wheelmate Steering Wheel Attachable Work Surface Tray

A novel idea, but completely impractical

By Howyon May 29, 2009:

“Obviously the snake oil salesmen who designed this product don't know much about computers or steering wheels. My first and most notable complaint is that you better be sure you're driving on a straight road when you use it, because it is impossible to turn your steering wheel with this attachment. Maybe, because my car is a foreign model, it doesn't fit, but I honestly cannot even back out of my driveway with this thing on.

If you are lucky enough to have a car where this apparatus can fit safely on the steering wheel, I hope you have a satellite internet card, because there is no way you can pick up wifi in a moving vehicle. Finally, I frankly don't see how the airbag is supposed to work without projecting your computer into your face upon collision.

This thing is a scam, and if you think you can be more productive on your drive to work with it, think again. Just bring a magazine or some papers instead to read on your commute.”

It's very slimming!

By John Grimeson February 7, 2015

“I admit it, I'm a hefty guy. But with the AutoExec, I can comfortably wear those jeans I couldn't even fit into in High School! Before AutoExec, I had a 60" waistline but with AutoExec, I have a svelte 22" waistline for the first time in my life! As an added bonus, I just tap the brakes, and voila! - instant Heimlich manoeuver (tm)!”

2       BiC For Her Medium Ballpoint Pen

Great product!, 3 Sept. 2012 By A keen skier

This review is from: BiC For Her Medium Ballpoint Pen (Box of 12) - Black (Office Product)

“My husband has never allowed me to write, as he doesn't want me touching mens pens. However when I saw this product, I decided to buy it (using my pocket money) and so far it has been fabulous! Once I had learnt to write, the feminine colour and the grip size (which was more suited to my delicate little hands) has enabled me to vent thoughts about new recipe ideas, sewing and gardening. My husband is less pleased with this product as he believes it will lead to more independence and he hates the feminine tingling sensation (along with the visions of fairies and rainbows) he gets whenever he picks it up.”

3       Aluminium Foil

Dreams really can come true, 5 May 2012

By Quitegeist (Bolton, England)  

This review is from: Aluminium Foil 18" (450mm x 75m) - industrial size for your kitchen or professional establishment (Misc.)

In many ways, I was raised by the cinema of the 80s. I was an especially big fan of the film Robocop. "One day," I would think, "I too will be a Robot police officer". As the years went by and I grew older, and the hopeful dreams of my childhood vanished into the distance, I resigned myself to the fact that being a robot was not a realistic life goal and devoted myself with single-minded determination to becoming a law enforcement officer. After years of hard work and sacrifice I was awarded my badge, and with my first police officer wage I decided to treat myself to a few DVDs from Amazon. It was then I saw the product that would change my life forever- Vogue Aluminium Foil.

Thanks to Vogue Aluminium Foil, which measures a hedonistic 75 metres and glistens with the hypnotising shimmer of a moonlit desert oasis caught by a breeze, the dreams of my childhood have now been realised. When I wrap my naked body in this lush, extravagant foil I feel transformed, and I wander the streets, mostly at night, fighting crime. While my official position as a member of the police has been revoked as a direct result of these actions, my current life as a robot vigilante is far more rewarding. Dreams really can come true.

Thankyou, Vogue Aluminium Foil. 5 stars. Highly recommended.

4       Horsehead mask

My Transformation is Complete, December 3, 2012

By ByronicHero

This review is from: Accoutrements Horse Head Mask (Toy)

“It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways. Now I question everything I thought I once knew and fear I am no longer capable of following through with my primary objective. I know that those who sent me will not relent. They will send others in my place... But we will be ready.”

  

5       Veet Hair Removal Cream  

DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan. 2012

By Andrew

This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)

“Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)”

As the above illustrate, the feedback that you give says as much about you as it provides constructive support or advice to the recipient. It all comes down to personal motivations, values and desires. In my opinion, Feedback, that is appreciated and valued, would happen all the time if both parties had the right attitude and intentions.

For the record, I welcome feedback and will take it in the spirit it is intended.