Showing posts with label comforting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comforting. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 January 2018

All Dark Matters Have a Bad Reputation (But They Shouldn’t) - Day 34

Day 34 (Wednesday 3rd January 2018)
34% uplift in premium spirits sales occurs over the festive period compared to
other tim
es of the year. A study by cloud-based software provider Epos Now,
studied sales data between 11.30pm on New Year's Eve 2017 and 12.30am on New Year's
Day a
nd, according to a poll of 800 pubs around the UK, during this hour prosecco accounted
for 18% of total wet sales while Champagne contributed to 17% - these two drinks
accounted for 35% of the pubs' total revenue during this time. In England h
ospital
admissions due to alcohol-abuse peak around the end-of-year holiday season.
Normally about 15% of ER admissions are alcohol-related, according to the NHS,
but at weekends and holiday times, that figure can shoot up to 70%.

One of the things I love about the Advent Blogs series is that is is a global phenomenon and today's post proves just that. The 34th blog is by Maya Drøschler. Maya is based in Copenhagen in Denmark. She joined the Advent Blog series as a writer in 2016 and wrote a poem last year, to describe the highs and lows of her first year in business - she had decided to follow her dreams and become an entrepreneur. I am pleased to report that her business seems to be going from strength to strength. She specialises in what she calls "The Point of HR" - that intersection between HR and communications and can advise on HR, systems and process design. She is also a respected public speaker and blogger. She writes a good and informative blog - in Danish - HR forretning (which translates as HR Business) as well as posting articles on LinkedIn. She has a background in HR (and has worked in Retail, Engineering and Medical Technical Equipment and Analysis). You can find her on Twitter (her handle is @MayaDroeschler).


I have huge admiration for Maya, not least because English is not her first language and yet she insists on writing in English for the Advent Blogs series because that is best for the majority of readers.

All of the pictures used in the post have been provided by Maya herself.

We are still within the 12 Days of Christmas and hence her sentiments and wishes expressed at the end of the piece are sound.

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To a large extent, language is built upon semantic opposites, but the relationship between two opposing terms like, say, black and white, is rarely neutral. Rather, the two terms are subtly ranked, because the relationship is characterized and determined by the act of human value attribution.

We prefer The One to The Other; we prefer Humans to Non-humans; we prefer Civilization to Barbarism; and we prefer Growth to Stagnation. 
The word dawn is often associated with a new beginning, transparency and a clear mind, whereas the word darkness is associated with a weathered mind and all things hidden and forbidden.

Darkness and dawn are not rigorous opposites, though, but rather two different phases in a repetitive cycle:
But even though darkness and dawn are not opposites in themselves each of them belong to a pair, which are:

Heart of Darkness
Joseph Conrad wrote the novel Heart of Darkness more than a century ago. In the novel, the sailor and narrator Marlow goes on a trip to find a guy named Kurtz, who is a successful ivory dealer in the colonized African country, Congo. When Marlow finally arrives at Kurtz’ camp deep inside the Congolese jungle, Marlow quickly realizes that the man, who is supposed to represent Western civilization and enlightenment, is quite the opposite; Kurtz is a disturbed person who has established his own brutal regime inside the jungle, where he acts as a demigod and exploits the natives.  
     
Later, it turns out that Kurtz suffers from jungle fever (today we call it malaria), and the last words Kurtz says before he dies are the famous: The Horror. The Horror. As readers, we don’t know if Kurtz is hallucinating, meeting his own personal angel of death or reflecting on his former misdeeds, but we do know that he, who should be the glorious exponent of dawn, is in fact much closer to darkness.

Everything is not always what it seems, like darkness turns into dawn and dawn turns into day, day turns into dusk. What counts as evolution, enlightenment and progress might in fact be an expression of human regression.

But no one seems to notice, before it is too late. 


Darkness Has a Bad Reputation
Darkness has a bad reputation, but this is a misconception, because darkness is not frightening, depressing and uncivilized at all times.

On the contrary, darkness can be comforting, it can hide your flaws and it can protect you from expectations, demands, obligations and responsibilities, when you need it the most.

Likewise, dawn is not necessarily positive; dawn is not always a new beginning, life starting all over again, the sun rising above the horizon to spread its light and warmth, but can be the very moment when you stand naked, exposed and visible to the decisions you must make and the hard work you must do, before the sun sets again. 


Repetition and Rest
Darkness and dawn are both part of a repetitive cycle. For thousands of years, dawn has meant the beginning of a new work day and darkness has meant the end of the work day, the moment when you could finally rest.

The children are a sleep, the soil is at rest, and everything is quiet.
The world has turned quiet. 
Modern work life has a lot of dawn and very little darkness, modern work life is one big, bright, busy endeavor, where everything is illuminated and everything is at stake.

You cannot hide, you cannot rest. Your brain is in constant overload mode and everything is up to you.


The Cycle
Although all natural ecosystems are built upon repetition and incremental improvement, humans of today tend to idealise radical innovation. It’s much cooler to be disruptive than it is to be repetitive, and you are undoubtedly a more fascinating and smart person if you are an inventor rather than a maintainer.

Lately, humans have invented algorithms and Artificial Intelligence, and those innovations promise us that we can get rid of all the tedious, boring stuff we had to do in the past, like weeding the soil.

In fact, we can get rid of repetition itself and only do new, exciting, creative things every day for the rest of our lives.

But this is a fantasy, because we need darkness as much as we need dawn, we need the repetitiousness of the cycle.

Too Much Daylight
I live in Denmark and this time of year we only experience seven hours of daylight each day.

When farming was the main industry, people slept on average two hours more each night than people do today, and even up to fifty years ago eight to nine hours of sleep a night was the norm. It’s not that we don’t need to sleep anymore, it’s just that we don’t have time to sleep.

Because dawn is always near.  
In a knowledge economy, it doesn’t matter what time of year or what time of day it is. We have liberated ourselves from the limitations of the cycle, we have liberated ourselves into the borderless work life.

We have established a regime of extreme enlightenment and civilization, where everything is transparent, elucidated and always fresh and new, and that’s great, but sometimes I wonder, if Kurtz and people like him are the true architects of modern work life. As I observe people giving up on their health, their families and their personal values to serve an endless series of dawns, I can almost hear Kurtz whisper:
The horror. The horror.

Christmas
These days, a lot of people experience heavy workloads, tight deadlines, unhealthy work environments, bad leadership practices, irrational decisions processes, even more irrational chains of command, unsuccessful projects, strategies badly executed and barriers to cooperation at work.
           
To me, these conditions are all symptoms of too much dawn and too little darkness, of too little time to absorb, reflect and make plans that extend to more than the next hour, next dawn.

I hope that you spend the Christmas holidays cherishing the darkness (if you live in the North), and I hope that you will allow yourself to experience the sensation of not being bombarded with sensory impressions and dubious assignments around the clock.

If you have time to rest, to think and to contemplate, you may realize that every idealized term, like dawn and busy and transparency, carry their opposites by their chest.

Dawn? I’m not ready for it, let me go back to sleep, please.
Busy? Always, but I really can’t say what I am busy with.
Transparency? This is a secret, but I don’t want to know everything about everyone.


Only Christmas has no opposite term, Christmas is always Christmas.     

Merry Christmas.

(and a Happy New Year!)


Thursday, 21 December 2017

Divine Darkness - Day 22

Day 22 (Friday 22nd December 2017)
22 pantomimes are still performed in the UK over the festive period (Aladdin, Ali
Baba and the Forty Thieves, Babes in the Wood, Beauty and the Beast, Bluebeard, Cinderella,
Dick Whittington and His cat, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Jack and the Beanstalk, Little
Red Riding Hood, Mother Goose, Peter Pan, Puss in Boots, Robin Hood, Robinson Crusoe,
St George and the Dragon, Sinbad, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs,
The Little Mermaid, The Wizard of Oz and Thumberlina). Pantomimes were, in Roman times,
a one-performer play, where an actor played multiple roles, using very expressive hands.
Over the years the art form picked up other traits, such as elements of Commedia dell'arte and
Harlequinade. But that is all "behind you." In modern times it has developed into a family-friendly
show combining elements of dance, song and music, slapstick, innuendo, topical references
and satire, cross-dressing, audience participation, and jokes. It has become a very British tradition, "oh yes it has..." (although there are regular festive performances in Canada, Jamaica, Australia and parts of the USA).
Today is my first day of "being on holiday", but, like for many of you, I know that the next few days will be manic. I drove to Somerset late last night to get Christmas ready for my mother and sister - it will be the first time that they have celebrated alone in the least five years. My sister Anna is amazing - having always been cared for (she has Asperger's), she now needs to be the carer, as our mother is suffering from dementia. Anna is game-on to try and cook a simple Christmas lunch for them - so long as I prepare the food and write clear instructions. Ah well, here goes...

Today's post is by an equally (probably even more) brave lady, Jayne Harrison, the amazing co-founder and leader of Peak Potential Consulting Ltd - a career development and coaching business based in the Midlands of the UK. Jayne is a strengths-based specialist. Many of you will remember Jayne's delightful post about Christmas cards and love in last year's series. However her piece in Henpicked about the value of coaching for those going through menopause is perhaps a better indication of her expertise as a coach and the reputation she has built with people enjoying successful careers in later life. Jayne is an accomplished public speaker. She does much to make the world a better place: she is a faculty member of the NHS East Midlands Leadership Academy, is an accredited feedback facilitator and is passionate about kindness and humanity at work. When not coaching or consulting, Jayne loves spending time with her husband and dogs, or enjoying knitting, reading and veganism. You can connect with her on Twitter, her handle is @JayneHarrison3.

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What do the words darkness and dawn conjure up for you dear reader?  Which one are you more drawn to?  In what direction might your previous experiences now be leading you?  Could you experience those words differently? Create new worlds around those words?

 “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”  -  Mary Oliver

I’m a fan of the dark; I’ve always been somewhat of a night owl and my favourite time of year is winter, when the night envelopes our world by late afternoon.  



One of the best things in the world to me is snuggling in front of the fire on a cold frosty evening with my favourite human and soppy canines. As I’m writing this the light is changing, from a cloudy hue to a grey blue; it will be dark soon in our village.  A comforting darkness.



However, when I was little I used to be frightened of the dark. I would need the hallway light on to get to sleep; the door left ajar. I’d often wake in the middle of the night; or sleep walk down to where my parents were sitting. I had an affinity even then with traversing in the night time.  A restless, sleepless darkness.

Christmas lights. Burning Candles. Roasting chestnuts. 



Santa making his deliveries by the cloak of darkness; leaving precious gifts for our loved ones.  A giving darkness.



I’ve experienced a lot of darkness over the past few years. Some of it due to poor health (mine and loved ones), some of it due to loss so painful I wished for endless dark; and some of it of my own making.  A mournful darkness in my soul.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

We like absolutes, we humans. Good and evil, black and white, light and dark.  But nothing is ever that clear cut for me.  If we were to travel the spectrum between those places, what unexpected gems might we find?  By boxing things up into distinct, separates pieces, what are we denying for ourselves and others? 

Darkness exists for a reason. What if instead of driving out darkness, we seek to understand, cherish and accept it?  Polarisation leads to hatred, a lack of compassion and mistrust. 



There have been many times this year when the light of others has truly inspired me.  They have travelled through the dark and have emerged the better, kinder, more human somehow.  I can’t list all the charitable, humbling and heart-warming stories here, but I do want to share just one which is so wonderfully apt:-

It’s Twitter at its very, very best. It’s about connecting through darkness and finding the light.  Please read the thread.

Rachael Prior (@ORachaelO) tweeted at 5:14 pm on Sat, Nov 11, 2017:

Nowhere and no time do I miss my dad more acutely than in the men’s department of M&S at Christmas.


“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” ― Og Mandino


I have said before that to truly experience loss, you have to have something to lose in the first place.  To fully appreciate the dawn, I need the dark.