Flying the nest

This weekend, I experienced what I suspect will be a profound moment in my life – I helped my eldest son to fly the family nest and move into his own home. The experience made me reflect on the nature of change and the importance of recognising when it’s time to embrace new chapters in life and career. My eldest son moved into his own home the same month the world saw President Biden acknowledge that he should stand down from the US election. Both events, though vastly different, share a common theme: the right time to accept change.

Seeing my son step into his new home filled me with a mix of pride and nostalgia (and yes, a few tears were shed). It’s a monumental step, signifying his transition into true adulthood. For years, he has prepared for this moment— saving diligently, learning to budget, buying useful items, and making plans. As a parent, it’s a bittersweet milestone. We nurture our children, provide them with guidance, and support them until they’re ready to fly solo. When that moment arrives, it’s both a validation of our efforts and a poignant reminder that change is constant and inevitable. I am going to miss waving him off to work in the mornings – he always left the house earlier than me. However, as the saying goes: If you truly love something, let it go. On a more positive note, I am glad not to be loading up and driving a transit van again this week.

On a broader stage, President Biden’s decision to step down from the upcoming election is a pivotal moment in political leadership. Leadership is not just about knowing how to govern but also understanding when to pass the baton. President Biden’s tenure has been marked by significant achievements and challenges. His decision to not run is a testament to his self-awareness and commitment to the greater good. It’s an acknowledgment that new leadership might bring fresh perspectives and renewed energy, essential for addressing future events.

These two occurrences prompted me to think about the right time to accept change in life and career. Here are a few reflections:

1.     Self-awareness: Understanding your strengths, limitations, and the context around you is crucial. Whether it’s moving out, like my son, or stepping down from a role, like President Biden, recognising when your current path no longer aligns with your goals or the needs of those you serve is key.

2.     Preparation and Planning: Change is less daunting when it’s planned. My son’s move was the result of years of preparation (if his lawyer had had any more involvement, it might even now still be an on-going project). Similarly, effective career transitions often come from thoughtful planning and readiness to embrace new opportunities.

3.     Courage to Let Go: It takes courage to let go of the familiar. For my son, it was the comfort of home – laundry, cleaning, a full fridge all laid on; for President Biden, it’s the power and responsibility of leadership. Embracing change often means stepping into the unknown, which requires bravery and confidence in the future.

4.     Openness to Growth: Change often brings growth. New challenges and environments push us to adapt and evolve. By moving into his own home, my son will learn and grow in ways he couldn’t under my roof. For President Biden, stepping aside allows for new leadership to tackle emerging issues with fresh vigour.

5.     Legacy and Impact: Ultimately, the decision to embrace change should consider the legacy you leave behind. My son’s independence is a part of the legacy of our family’s values and way of being (we are all strong-minded individuals). President Biden’s decision reflects his desire to ensure a stable and prosperous future for the nation, valuing the legacy of his leadership.

Change is inevitable and necessary for personal and collective growth. Whether it’s watching a loved one embark on a new journey or witnessing a leader make a selfless decision, these moments remind us that the right time to accept change is when it aligns with our values, readiness, and the greater good.

Here’s to embracing change with wisdom, courage, and a forward-looking perspective. And may Charles be very happy in his new home.

Solstice reveries and reflection - Day 21

Day 21 (Thursday 21st December 2017)

21 December is the astronomical first day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. 

It is known as the Winter Solstice and is the day with the fewest hours of sunlight 

for the whole year. The word comes from the Latin "sol" for "sun" and "sistere"

meaning "to stand still". In folklore, today was a traditional day to bring sprigs of

holly and ivy (symbols of masculinity and femininity respectively) to the home, both being 

evergreen they acted as a talisman and reminder that the leaves and crops would return. 

Holly was viewed as protective - evil spirits would get trapped in the branches of the tree.

At the Solstice the Oak and Holly Kings would fight, with Oak winning to rule until the Summer 

Solstice. In the Middle Ages unmarried women used to tie a sprig of holly to their beds to

ward off evil spirits. Ivy was seen as symbolising peace because of its ability

to link and bind two different plants together.

After today I am on holiday until the start of 2018. I will be driving down to my mother and sister's tonight, to ensure that all is OK for them over the Christmas period. Today's gem is written by Kate Jones, the founder of Inspired Lives a company that specialises in facilitating individual and organisational transformation based in Manchester. Kate is a superb coach. She and I first met in real life when she was exhibiting her business at the CIPD's annual conference a few years ago, we got chatting and a friendship was formed. Kate is highly intuitive and sensitive to the needs of others, whilst also being commercial and highly organised. She has a flair for understanding people (and not just because she has studied psychology). Kate commenced her career as a lawyer and spent time in professional services, consulting, media and financial services before founding her own business in 2000. She is the former in-house European General Counsel and General Secretary for Kellogg's and has many Blue Chip organisations on her CV. I love catching up with her via Twitter (her handle is @Inspired_Lives - she provides intelligent insight and much appreciated cheer. It is a pleasure having her as a contributor to this year's Advent Blogs series. 

***************************

21 December The Solstice – In the northern hemisphere this is our shortest day. With nature dormant all around us this is a good time for us also to be still, quiet and rest. Consciously notice and appreciate the returning light and the energy of rebirth. Focus on renewing our inner light. What will it take to turn that spark into a flame?

In the southern hemisphere the sun is at its fullest and highest. In the peak of expansiveness we are reminded that from here on the days begin to draw in. 

Embrace the season. Wherever you are today

‘Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.’ Henry David Thoreau (1817 – 1862).

Engage with the ebb and flow of the season exactly as it is where you are. Align with its pace, work with its metaphors. Enjoy what it feels like to be in tune with, rather than resisting, the patterns of Nature around you.

At Inspired Lives we use the Winter/Summer Solstices to retreat and reflect.

‘Take a rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop’ - Ovid

Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to STOP and say “No, not now”. Whether in our personal or business life it takes a certain steeliness to withdraw when chaos surrounds us. Time is of the essence when it comes to decision making and all manner of stakeholders are looking to us for answers or direction. The urge to please, rescue or solve a problem, can drive us to make a decision before we are ready, have all the pertinent facts, have asked all the questions, researched the options and taken time to look for another/different way.

And yet, what is the price of not doing this? Those who are used to making time for a retreat know that they cannot afford not to.

The definition of retreat includes ‘an act of withdrawing, to reconsider’.  Retreating, stepping back or away from a situation, set of circumstances or habitual way of being gives time to distinguish between what is true and what is false, what is real and what is fiction - a distortion born out of fear, reflex (unconscious automatic) responses, assumptions, partial information or even unconscious bias and hidden agendas.

Taking stock of where we are allows us to appreciate subtleties, uncover the roots of the challenges we are facing, review alternative perspectives and discover wider possibilities. Consciously allowing time and space for reflection helps us find a calmness and centredness that will bring clarity and insight.

Traditionally the calendar year end is a time for reflection; the beginning of a new year, a time for refocusing and re-engaging commitment to action. Taking time out to do this is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Any leadership role or senior management position is highly visible, with great expectations of positive impact both from the organisation and from the individual her/himself. High profile and high stakes in a constantly changing economic environment are likely to be pressurised and stressful. It is also an incredibly exciting and creative challenge, full of potential and possibility.

Who do we choose to be? - Day 20

Day 20 (Wednesday 20th December 2017)

20 metres is the minimum height of the Christmas tree erected every year since 1947 

in Trafalgar Square, London. The tradition commenced in 1947, when the Norwegians 

offered a Norway Spruce to the British as a token of gratitude for support in the Second World War. 

Each tree is 50-60 years old. The tree is cut in Norway in November, during a ceremony attended 

by the British Ambassador to Norway, Mayor of Oslo, and Lord Mayor of Westminster.

The tree is lit on the 1st Thursday of December at a special ceremony with bands and a choir. 

It remains a focal point for carol singing and poetry until just before Twelfth Night when it is taken 

to be recycled into mulch. It is always lit with simple lights.

Please whisper... it was a good night last night, but I am a tad tired.

Today's inspirational post is written by Helen Green, the founding director of the specialist change consultancy Orient8 Consulting Limited. A former FTSE 250 Director, Helen decided to leave conventional corporate life and found her own firm in 2011. Helen is a psychologist by initial training (indeed she still works occasionally as an associate consultant for the occupational psychologists Rothwell Douglas). She is also a much-valued coach. Helen believes in kindness and does her bit to make the world a better place, for example she volunteers as a coach at the charity Save the Children and she is very supportive of those wishing to learn via social media. You can connect with her on Twitter (her handle  @orient8you). She writes an occasional, informative, business focused blog 

via her company website - here is the link. 

******************************

In 2017, I have continued to be inspired by the work of Dr. Margaret (Meg) Wheatley, both in person and via her brilliant writing. This is an extract from her bio:

“Margaret Wheatley writes, teaches and speaks about how we can use our power and influence and willingly step forward to serve this troubling time. As things grow darker and more difficult, she summons us to reclaim leadership as a noble profession that creates possibility and humaneness in the midst of increasing fear and turmoil, by creating Islands of Sanity.”

This year, my Advent blog draws heavily on her words. At the end, I share my my own “so what?”

From Meg’s 2017 book, “Who do we choose to be? Facing reality, claiming leadership, restoring sanity”:

“We can no longer solve the global problems of this time at large-scale levels: poverty, economics, climate change, violence, dehumanisation. Even though the solutions have been available for a very long time, they require conditions to implement them that are not available: political courage, collaboration across national boundaries, compassion that supersedes self-interest and greed.

I realised years ago that large scale change was not possible. Leaders were grasping for control, over-reacting to crises rather than thinking systemically, treating people as ‘units’ rather than as humans.

I began to challenge every leader I met with these questions: Who do you choose to be for this time? Are you willing to use whatever power and influence you have to create islands of sanity that evoke and rely on our best human qualities to create, produce, and persevere?”

So what?

Well my conclusion has been to create my own Island of Sanity. Mostly that’s about choosing more mindfully who to spend my time with, both in and out of work. It’s also about choosing more mindfully how to spend my time when I’m alone.

In Meg’s book, she writes: “Teddy Roosevelt enjoined us: Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

In my work, as a Change Consultant and Coach, I choose to “do what I can, with what I have, where I am.”

Inspired by Meg and her words, this is my take:

I can’t change the world, none of us can, but I can focus on serving others. I can offer insight and compassion. I can be present. I can stay and not flee. No matter what is going on around me, I can attend to the people in front of me and offer what I can.

It doesn’t sound very grand or ambitious, does it? It’s small. It’s do-able. And to me right now, it seems right.

Now I am asking you as a leader of your life, your family, your community, your people,

WHO DO YOU CHOOSE TO BE FOR THIS TIME?

This is Your time

Day 48 (Tuesday 17th January 2017)

48% of workers in Brighton are happy - making it the happiest
place in the UK in which to work, according to the Work Satisfaction Survey
conducted by LinkedIn in early October 2016. (Glasgow and Leeds came
2nd at 45%; third were Manchester and Sheffield at 43%; then Edinburgh
at 42%; Southampton and Birmingham were at 41%; with London,
Liverpool and Cardiff scoring 39%. People in Norwich were the least happy
with only a third saying they enjoyed their work. Workers in small
businesses were the happiest. Other important influencing factors included
a person's relationship with colleagues (rated at 55%), doing work
that has a positive impact (44%) and having a healthy work/life balance (38%).

Today's is the final post in this year's Advent Blog series. It has been a privilege being the host and curating some truly wonderful pieces. As in former years, I will produce a summary, once the dust has settled. Before then, I would like to thank all the contributors. We had a number of new voices this year, as well as some "old favourites" and we covered subjects on a gamut of topics, literally from birth to death. A traditional Advent Calendar has 24 windows, but we have doubled that and given people something to enjoy or to ponder through the dark days at the start of January. I find it heart-warming seeing the strength of the community that the Series inspires - encouraging new and shy bloggers, consoling those who had more hollows than heights, celebrating with those who have scaled new heights, and accepting the range of topics and interpretations of the theme. The Series is as much about the readers as it is about the writers. Huge Thanks to you All.

On the day when Gene Cernan, the last man to have walked on the moon back in 1972, has died (he has left a lasting impression on history, quite literally, as his footprints can still be seen), we have a post that urges us all too to make our mark and potentially to influence and change the future. 

We are closing the series on a high with a "call to arms" by Jacqueline Davies, a well known and highly respected HR Director. She cares passionately about the HR profession and the impact it can have on workers and the workplace. In June last year Jacqueline was installed as Master of the recently founded Guild of Human Resource Professionals. (She is the first openly lesbian Master of any City Guild.) Jacqueline has experienced discrimination as well as support and inclusion during her career and she has no qualms about fighting for a fairer world; she was on the Board of the NUS, a Trustee of Stonewall for nine years, and its Chair from 2012 to 2014.

Jacqueline has an impressive career - she has been a Managing Director at Barclays - where she lead the talent and resourcing agendas for the global retail Banking division. She has held significant roles, primarily within the Talent space, for most of the UK's leading retail banks, including Lloyds Banking Group, HSBC and RBS as well as a time in insurance. She is a business writer - her first book, The Truth About Talent, was published in 2010. She is active on social media - you can connect with her on Twitter, her handle is @JacquelineLD.

Most importantly she is a devoted mother and loving wife.

******************************

This is Your time

This week I have returned to work after two months sick leave. I've never had so much time off before but as the Dr also reminded me I've never really been ill before. In the scheme of things, a hospital stay with double pneumonia and then the draining, astonishing fatigue that follows is relatively modest but it's left me with a new sensitivity on things that matter. Time to take stock on a tumultuous year where the personal became political again and where our human differences were once again in the spotlight.

So as world leaders gather in Davos to focus on Inequality and as Washington prepares for the Trump Inauguration, I think in 2017 it will be important to return to the things that matter to take the inspiration from Jo Cox, that we have #moreincommon and the outgoing US First Lady Michelle Obama who said in her final speech:

“Our glorious diversity… is not a threat to who we are. It is who we are.”

Michelle Obama giving her final White House speech
Credit: Manuel Balce Ceneta/AP

In June 2016 I elected by my peers to lead the new Guild of HR Professionals (@GuildHRprofs).

Today's author - the current
Master of the Guild of Human Resources Professionals
Photo credit: Gerard Sharp

At my inaugural dinner I spoke about returning to and being proud of our professional essence - being specialists in humanity. And, that our companies needed our leadership to bring humanity back to work. I've had a growing sense that our profession's now routine emphasis on MI, process and service improvements has distracted us from getting to grips with how we connect people and purpose. It seems to me that all ‘highs and hollows’ in corporates and public services in ultimately pivot on this. From Hillsborough to Saville, from banking failure to vehicle emissions scandals. Every inquiry tells a story of people losing their way – no clear set of values, no incentives to drive activity for the wider or future world and no ways of responding to those with concerns or those impacted. The question I have asked myself is as HR leaders what role do we play?

Little Girl by Sarah Goodreau

We have learned that we need leaders who can learn from this and step up. I believe as a profession we have much to contribute here but we must now go beyond 'serving, advising and partnering'. We must be the standard bearers for the best of what it means to be human. To hold ourselves and others to account and to be provocative when we see integrity or conduct threatened. In this sense our role as leaders is to act in the future interest of our organisations. We need to anticipate the impact of decisions made today on tomorrow’s cultural health, workforce capability and company reputation. This means leading in a sustainable way and it requires us to tune in diligently to the social and political dramas playing out around us.

With this lens I reflect on June 2016, the historical month; when the UK elected to leave the EU, the Orlando shootings where 49 LGBT people were killed and 53 injured, and the murder of Jo Cox. In 2016 social fault-lines seemed to be everywhere cutting across countries communities and families.

How do people make decisions and respond to issues
given the information available to them?
Image via @PoliticsPunked

I wasn't prepared for the personal impact these events would have. I received calls and mail from HR professionals across the world. I heard stories of fear walking to the tube, of sisters spat at, of dreams evaporated and of others who had become unmoored from previous certainties. These stories showed that uncertainty followed 'otherness', a different colour skin, a different accent, a different gender or sexual identity and we were suddenly more aware of this. I heard senior, experienced folk from these groups express personal anxiety for the first time in years. Across wider social groups I also heard unguarded comments surface some well meant but with divisive undertones suggesting that fear and ignorance was back. It took me back.

I'm old enough to remember a time before 'Diversity & Inclusion' became a key part of our professional repertoire. When outside of work, on early Pride marches we ran down the street to hide from the bottles thrown at us, or where a trip to A&E was sadly too regularly the end of a night out for friends who ‘looked different’.

Changes in the workplace have in many ways helped drive wider social attitudes. I still remember when it was legal to discriminate on difference; when it was commonplace to be overlooked, side lined or threatened at work. I was once made redundant because I had a female partner. I know of many others bullied or sacked because they were different. Even now I have friends who are only just relaxing into being themselves despite holding C-suite positions. Typically this discrimination reached into every part of an organisation's culture or a company's way of treating its customers. Many saw the tide of change as 'political correctness', fortunately many more saw that this made sense to close a talent gap and others just knew it was the right thing to do.

Research has now shown that organisations who got a hold of this agenda first are thriving; knowing, valuing and blending differences makes for stronger teams, innovation and organisations reflecting the constituencies they serve. And yet at the turning of a new year, I am reminded of Martin Luther King's warning that for evil to succeed all it takes is for 'good people to do nothing'.

It is with this in mind that I believe our profession has a crucial role to play - it's not political or politically correct to speak truth to power. We are what we do and at our best we notice potential, we nurture wellbeing and we have powerful conversations that move people and whole organisations forward. I appreciate that we are not always at our best and, to some, I will sound naive. But at the opening of 2017, I don't believe we have much more time to lose, humanity needs us to put humanity at the heart of HR. Let's step up and lead.

You Guys - William Ayot

This is your time

For frosty mornings in towns you will never know,

For resentful receptionists and chirpy secretaries,

For flipcharts and outcomes, for plans and reports,

For too much coffee and too many words.

This is your time.

This is your time

For dressing in the dark and cars to the airport.

For planes and trains and railway stations;

For loneliness, for grief, for embracing doubt,

For keeping hard secrets in the face of love.

This is your time.

This is your time.

For being what your people need you to be,

For managing fear while showing calm,

For being their mother, for being their father,

For holding the line, or the hope, or the dream.

This is your time.

This is your time

For sudden sunlight breaking through the overcast,

For sweet green spaces in concrete canyons;

For the care of strangers, for anonymous gifts,

For learning to receive little acts of kindness.

This is your time.

This is your time.

For standing to be counted, for being yourself,

For becoming the sum and total of your life,

For finding courage, for finding your voice,

For leading, because you are needed now.

This is your time.

John Griffith-Jones Chairman of FCA making the after dinner address
& reply on behalf of Guests at the inauguration dinner for the new
Master of the Human Resources Professionals Guild (today's writer)
You can see Jacqueline sitting serenely beside him,
having just made her own speech. Photo: Kate GL

Humanity is a good thing