Is it a priority?

The last time I wrote something on here was in June 2019 – just before my life became very difficult. From July 2019 onwards, I needed to find some way of giving myself time to focus on urgent priorities, namely my mother who had become seriously ill and my autistic sister, as well as my work and all the other people I care about. My mother died just as we plunged into the pandemic and my work, as was the case for so many in HR, became more complicated than I have ever known it, but also more rewarding and impactful. 

There is no doubt that in the past two years HR has stepped into the limelight, really showing how and where it can add value, and I am so proud of what I and my team achieved in collaboration with others. Supporting colleagues, clients, and my family through Covid, whilst simultaneously coping with grief and the demands of probate, meant that I didn’t have sufficient hours in each day to do all the things that I wanted to do, something had to give. The easiest things to drop were those that gave me personal gratification but were not crucial for me or others and that included blogging. Although writing has always given me immense pleasure, I had to stop. Now, finally, I feel ready to resume. 

It does feel slightly indulgent writing again, and I hope that my words don’t seem superficial when there are so many awful things going on in the world. I know that I am not alone in being transfixed by the horrifying situation in Ukraine and, like many, I am only just beginning to appreciate the repercussions that will have a direct an impact on us all. I know that I am incredibly fortunate to live where I do and to enjoy the freedom and opportunities that surround me. The fact that I have the right to expression and can publish my opinions is a privilege that I value. I have always written in part to help me clarify my thoughts on a subject, but also in the hope that some of what I have to say might be of use or value to others. 

Given why I stopped writing, it only seems right to produce a post on prioritisation. We all prioritise – doing so is a fundamental part of each of our lives. Should I grab a bite or finish writing this? Should I walk to get some exercise and enjoy the view or go by bus as that will be quicker? Should I write that report or have a 1-2-1 with a member of my team? I do think that organisations’ priorities have shifted slightly over the past couple of years. Even three years ago HR used to have to fight to get Boards and senior leaders to talk about wellbeing, culture, mental health, purpose, and values - they were seen as “soft and fluffy”. At that time the focus was all too frequently on just the bottom-line, to the exclusion of everything else. Clearly commercial results are vital, a business cannot thrive without them, but those results are produced by people, and it is the way you manage, support, educate and encourage those people that impacts the business’ results. Many years ago, my uncle, who was a partner for a leading global accountancy firm, was Lord Mayor for London and he chose ‘People Count” as his motto, because he knew that success comes from people not dry financial figures. It is noticeable that organisational priorities have shifted: CEOs are proactively asking their CPOs what can be done to make people appreciate their work and workplace (and only for a few is this simply a cynical reaction to ‘the Great Resignation’ and a desire to manipulate people into staying), most leaders want to foster an environment where people can enjoy what they do, appreciate the people they are with, and be able to grow and thrive. 

The recruitment market currently is red-hot, with many employees choosing to quit either because 

• their priorities have changed during the pandemic, and they want a different lifestyle. 
• they have been approached by recruiters and/or potential employers. 
• they have been inspired to move having seen the roles that their friends are getting; or simply because they now feel that the time is right to move. 

 Individuals are having to make decisions about their futures and their places of work. I am one of those people. My former employer has been bought by a successful American group (a great outcome for all) but it has resulted in my no longer having a job. I suspect that my posts over the next few weeks will be about my experiences as a candidate. 

Most recently I have had a disappointing experience and it was entirely my fault – I should have prioritised better. I was in Somerset, supporting my sister, but had a meeting scheduled with a leading UK head-hunter. I have known them for years; I respect them immensely and they are a leader in their field. We had had a date in the diary for a Zoom meeting on Friday 18th February. I was really looking forward to catching up, as well as hoping that she could help me. Given all that has happened over the past ten days, you may have forgotten that the UK was hit by severe storms in mid-February. Storm Eunice, an intense extratropical cyclone, hit the UK in the morning of the 18th of February; one of the worst impacted areas was the South West of England, which was where I was. 

The noise was terrifying, and the movement of trees had to be seen to be believed – the Cedar in my sister’s garden looked like a 1920’s Flapper dancing the Charleston. We lost our electricity, but others lost roofs, animals, greenhouses, and ancient oaks. I was getting worried at the lack of power and, if I had been sensible, I should have cancelled the Zoom meeting to focus on supporting my sister. As it was, the electricity came back on less than 10 minutes before my meeting was due to start and I opted to plough ahead. I dialled in, but I was unprepared, and my mind was distracted. I made a mess of even simple questions such as “What have you learned over the past six years?” and I know that I did not create a favourable impression or do myself justice. I should have taken my own advice and re-prioritised to fit the circumstances, and rescheduled, thereby ensuring a better outcome. 

So, do I regret prioritising and hence not blogging for a few years? ( there is no doubt I was busy - I was supporting my mother through the final months before her death; figuring out how to care for my autistic sister who was not only losing her mother and constant companion but also her existence as she knew it; aiding other family members and friends who were struggling in a multitude of ways; my work was in overdrive as we cemented our organisational transformation from bankruptcy to being a desirable wealth manager and simultaneously coped with the onset of Covid-19 and the pandemic; I am a mother and both my sons were at crucial stages in their lives.). Don’t get me wrong, I am not seeking sympathy – so many people have much worse and more difficult lives than me. However, I did what needed to be done and what I felt that I wanted to do at the time - the point I want to make is that at times it is right to let things go, because there are other priorities that must come first. You need to be aware of your circumstances and act accordingly. 

Here’s wishing you every success when making appropriate decisions for the future.

The Zen of Little Pickle - Day 16

Sunday 16th December 2018

16 is the age at which the Princess in the tale of Sleeping Beauty is predicted to prick
her finger on a spindle and fall into a deep sleep. The story is much older than the sanitised
Disney version that most of us are familiar with, and was much darker in earlier forms - often
including adultery, rape and planned murder/infanticide (after the princess produces
illegitimate twins that the wife of her lover demands to be killed and served to him as revenge, but
which are substituted for lambs by a swift-thinking court cook). Folklorists maintain that the
story is an allegory for the replacement of the lunar year of 13 months (13 fairies) with the solar year
(12 months and hence a fairy is forgotten). The princess represents nature (winter indicted by the wicked
fairy putting nature to sleep with pricks of frost, the spindle), the prince is spring and his sword is
a sunbeam and together they bring nature back to life.

Phew - that was a foul drive from Durham yesterday - snow, sleet, high winds,  flooding, freezing rain, you name it... Thank you Doris. It's good to be back home and able to relax in the warm with an Advent Blog.

Today's post is bound to make you smile. If you don't yet know its author -  Chris Nichols, Founding Partner of GameShift, a consultancy based in the UK that describes itself as providing "alchemy for business" through a collaborative hub of highly impressive professionals from diverse backgrounds - you should make contact as soon as you can. He is erudite, entertaining and inspirational. For 15 years he was a Director of the Ashridge Business School, having formerly worked as an investment banker, corporate financier and business strategist, most recently for PwC. He is a deep thinker, brimming with curiosity and encouraging energy, with an interest in sustainability, responsibility and innovation. As you can tell from his post below, he is passionate about people, seeing them grow and this is true in every aspect of his life. He describes himself as a poet and provocateur, but there is so much more to him... He is a loving and devoted family man. You can connect with him on Twitter and find out - his handle is @chrisnicholsT2i  

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Meet Little Pickle, granddaughter number two. She was meant to arrive on Christmas Day, but decided to pop in yesterday instead.  She hasn’t got a name yet, so I’m calling her Little Pickle for the moment.

She’s a really wonderful reminder of the Zen koan, “What is this?”.

What is this? A scrap of the cosmos, arranged in this way, that wasn’t independently in the world a few hours before, but is here now.

What is this? This tiny being coming to live on this fragile planet for a while, almost six decades younger than me. By the time she sees her grand-children born, she’ll be living in a world I can barely imagine.

What is this? This arrangement of energy that will unfold over months and years into whatever she will be. What will she be? What will be her unique voice? What will be the greatest gift she brings?

I have not one clue.

And that’s what makes Little Pickle such a great koan.

The point of a koan isn’t to get an answer. The point is to stop our busy brain in its tracks and insist that we notice what’s here.

Life is full of opportunities to live on autopilot. It is worth taking the time, at least every very now and then, to stop as ask “What is this?”.

After all, life is so utterly contingent.

These parents met. Then one egg, one sperm, these actual ones, not others, combine at that particular time. They produce this unique arrangement of life. Born in this time, this particular point in human history. Of all the possible arrangements of life, Little Pickle turns up as this particular human being, right now.

What is this?

One day, when Little Pickle is bigger, maybe I’ll get to stand with her on a clear Dartmoor night when we can see the star-filled sky. I hope I get the chance to tell her that we are both made of stardust and that there’s nothing else to be made up from. We’ve all been going around and around for 14 billion years, arranged as different forms of energy, time and time again.

Currently we’re turning up as Chris and Little Pickle. Later on, we’ll be something else.

Someone wise once said, just remember that when we look up in awe and wonder at the starlit heavens, we are the universe looking at itself. Let’s not forget, in our busyness and the dance of our familiar patterns, we are also the cosmos, in all its infinite and unfolding mystery.

If we take the time to stop and look, any day is a time of awe and wonder.

After all, “What is this”?

Palatable Prioritisation

This year has started like a whirlwind – there’s so much to do, with eye-wateringly short deadlines (resulting in short tempers for some), and everyone is convinced that they have a right to pole position in the queue for my attention.

The Tornado Woman - oil on canvas, by Mark Bryan

If I am not to go pop or to tie myself in a knot, I have to prioritise, whist carefully managing relationships with those who are relying on me. So how do I do it?

• Like many people, I write lists of all the tasks I need to complete and star those that are important either because of impact on the business or because of an time related factor that necessitates the task to be completed sooner rather than later. 

• I tend to write a list as my last activity of the day/week - when the day/week's events are fresh in my mind. I then review first thing the following morning/at the start of the new week to "sanity check" my plans and confirm that the importance placed on each task is accurate and reflective of business/personal need.

•  I diarise events and activities - I have in the past used a hard copy file that I put time specific tasks and relevant documentation into, so that, as I work through the weeks and months, the required tasks are not forgotten and are undertaken/completed in a timely manner. I now do this electronically, with early warnings and reminders. 

• I continually communicate with others, asking people what else they are working on and how what I am doing fits in with/impacts on their plans.

• I consider the anticipated time required to complete important tasks – I usually find that the more time needed to do a good job, the sooner the project has to commence, if I want to get it finished in a timely and professional manner. 

•  I tell people what I am doing, to help set their expectations and sometimes this results in plans being changed and work being taken off my plate.

• I make sure there is no unnecessary duplication, with someone else in another area also trying to do the same thing – one of us will be wasting our time. 

• I sometimes have to remind myself that ”Good enough is often good enough” – so that I don’t feel that a piece of work has to be perfect when it is more important that it is done swiftly, it just has to be right, fit for purpose and of a standard that is acceptable to others.

• I look at whether there are any areas/people where/with whom I can come to an agreement to compromise (on time or amount to be delivered) – by discussing the situation with others who are relying on me (and thereby letting them know that I can see that the outcome is important) it makes them appreciate that I am not shirking the task, and that I am trying to accommodate them in a way that suits both sides.

• I look to see what I can delegate – it is often a good learning experience for someone in my team and takes a bit of the pressure off me.

• As Sara said in her blog just before Christmas – asking for help is not a sign of weakness and by doing so you often build better bonds with others and make them realise that you value them and their skills.

• I look to see if there is anything I can use to make a task easier – is there an App or a tool I can use (I’m much faster stringing and slicing beans with the French bean slicer my mother gave me than just using a knife)?

• It is important not to be knocked off course by those who shout loudest or who are most persistent (or even annoying) - I have occasionally persuaded people to see sense by bringing small groups of people together to discuss and agree amongst themselves what the real business priorities are - this has the added advantage of making them aware of others' requirements and pressures and, if required, an understanding as to why there might be delays or a need to amend plans.

• Change is a given - do not be afraid of amending your priorities or actions, if so required, when the situation in which you are trying to work changes, but be sure to inform others if things are going to be different, as it may have an impact on them.

• I talk with others who have had similar challenges to see if I can learn from them – there are often better ways of doing things, problems that can be avoided or different approaches that might not have occurred to me. Do you have a coach, a mentor or know of an expert/experienced person who could help you?

• I am learning at getting better at saying “No” – I hate letting people down, so it is not my natural response, but saying that you will do something and then  failing to do so is one of the worst ways of disappointing people.

Sometimes I try to prioritise by looking at a task or project from 3 angles – the cost, the scope and the length of time required to complete what needs to be done. You can seldom change one without impacting the others, for example, if I have 4 friends coming for supper on Saturday I can’t change the scope (we will eat supper together) but I could change the cost (for example we could go out to a local restaurant, or I could buy in a pre-prepared food or hire a chef for the night). Hiring a chef could also impact the time element, as two people can prepare a meal faster than one, especially if one of them is professional, which could free me up to do something else. Otherwise, if I need the time on Saturday and cannot afford a chef or a restaurant, I could prepare and cook after work on Thursday and Friday to make sure that I can put a meal on the table at the intended time on Saturday evening.

My final piece of advice may sound counter intuitive, but it does work – give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Sometimes it can be more productive to step away from the pressure and take a bit of time away for yourself. Many people have written about the benefits of yoga, or Street Wisdom or mindfulness. It is true that an uncluttered mind, free from distractions, is better able to come up with creative solutions. I find taking a walk helps me get things in perspective the ideas percolate through my brain, I have a friend who always goes to an art gallery when he needs to get things in perspective, my father fishes – he cannot fret about issues when he has to concentrate on not falling inn and decide how best to catch an elusive sea trout. I am sure, when you return to the problems they will feel less daunting and you will be the better for that and able to get things done.

Breathe - by Pink Floyd, from Dark Side of the Moon, 1973

Whirlwind - oil paining by Lisa Strazza