Coal Dust and Comet Tails

Day 37 (Wednesday 6th January 2016)

37 seconds - the time it took for the Hindenberg to be utterly destroyed in 1937.
She was a German-built, 800 ft long Zeppelin airship, considered the height of sophisticated travel.
It was her first Frankfurt to New Jersey flight of the season. She had capacity for 70 passengers but
on this occasion had only 36 plus 61 crew - 35 of them died. The reason for the explosion remains a mystery.

Today's post is by Andrew Jacobs a respected Learning and Development expert who works in the public sector in London. He became the Organisational Learning and Talent Manager for the London Borough of Lewisham in October 2014, having previously done a great job, in a similar role, for Lambeth (the Borough in which I live). He is active on Twitter (his handle is @AndrewJacobsLD ) and he writes an excellent blog, "Lost and Desperate" that is often, but not always, about Learning and Development. Andrew is passionate about the value of training and the need for it to be an integral part of business, resulting in both personal and organisational improvement.

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Here we are again. A year after the last advent blog and I don't know what to write, so I'm telling you now, at the start, that this post is written under duress. It's been forced and cajoled; Kate pigeonholed me at a recent tweet up and told me that I needed to write a post for this series. That’s why it’s late...I can’t type so quickly with one hand held behind my back.

Why wouldn't you put a post together Andrew? It's just a few hundred words. It’s a bit of simple writing that can be put out there for people to read and forget. But, as I've found this year especially, words have meaning. Their use ought to be considered and evaluated. The meaning you attach to them when you produce them may not be what the reader interprets. I’ve seen this in the posts in this series to date; they’ve been emotional, reflective, inspiring and touching. They’ve been courageous, insightful, engaging and original. This isn't a competition yet I find that I set myself an expectation of crafting a post which engages and provides interest to a diverse readership.

Not being able to find meaning is hard.

In the workplace, even if we don't always know what to do, we know the why. Away from work we live for the meaning. Should I anticipate a Damascene moment when I am able to find the appropriate relationship?

So I sought it out. I worked on it. I talked through a series of words on my journey to and from work. On my motor scooter, my helmet protects me from the elements and gives me a private space to ponder and consider my thoughts, free from interruption and other voices for over 30 miles each day.

I wrote words and deleted them. Too contrived.

I wrote words and saved them for another post. Too difficult to complete and too personal to share. Yet.

I wrote words and adapted them for a piece of work elsewhere. Not formed enough to make sense.

I wrote words elsewhere and saw a shimmer of recognition. A dim light that had meaning to me.

My son was born on 21st December, 15 years ago. He shouldn’t have been here; he had decided that the space he had been occupying in my wife’s belly wasn’t for him and so, at 28 weeks, decided to show his face. He weighed just over a kilo - 1.038. That’s a bag of sugar in old money. 

He was swept away from us, via resuscitation tables, incubators, UV lamps, and a range of medical equipment that wouldn’t look out of place in the new Star Wars film. We didn’t see him for a few hours although we knew he was there. When we did set eyes on him our breath was taken away; we named it the sharp intake of breath (SIOB). This tender and precious little bundle was wired up like Neo in the Matrix, each limb dotted with cables, lines, and pipes bringing life to a tiny life with translucent skin and transparent limbs.

We were able to get him out the incubator four days later, on Christmas Day, for a few minutes. A first hold for a mother, father and brother which 96 hours before we hadn’t dared hope would happen. We’d gone past the SIOB stage - after 4 days waiting in a dimly lit Special Care Baby Unit we’d got to the point where we just wanted to be connected to him and to see him less connected to the machinery which was keeping him alive.

What we hadn’t understood, enveloped in the warmth and comforting drip of medical information and outstanding nursing and medical professionalism, was how everyone else who came to meet him for the first time hadn’t had a SIOB moment.

First reactions to him were always entertaining. Some laughed, some cried. Some spoke with furious abandon, others went silent and contemplative. Some visited many times, others couldn't (wouldn’t?) until he was home.

3 months later he was home, near to the time when he should have been and he’s now a strapping lad with a sense of justice and effort that I have to attribute to his fighting spirit.

As we move into the New Year, remember the wonder of seeing a comet for the first time. Think again about the last time you did something which truly took your breath away.

And promise to do it again in 2016.

Stardust

Day 36 ( Tuesday 5th January 2016)

"36 Strategies" a unique collection of ancient Chinese proverbs formed into a book
providing advice for soldiers, politicians, diplomats and spies (also of interest to modern-day
businesses and leaders). It was rediscovered on a roadside stall in Sichuan in 1941.

Today's post comes to us from the United States of America, Texas to be precise. It is written by Christopher Demers, a leading HR professional, currently working as the Senior Manager for Employee Relations at VMware. He wrote a splendid piece last year about the joy of Christmas. This year he is testing the opposite spectrum of emotions - although both are touched by love. Christopher is an excellent blogger - you can read his thoughts on ChristopherinHR. Otherwise, follow him on Twitter - his handle is @ChristopherinHR. I really value having Christopher as a friend - he is wise and knowledgable and does not begrudge his time or sharing his thoughts.

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The melody haunts my reverie, and I am once again with you...

Ah, what memories.

My friend, Kate Griffiths-Lambeth, asked if I might put a few words together celebrating Comet Trails and Coal Dust as part of a year-end series. I can only think all the real writers were busy and Kate was in a bit of a pickle when she reached out to me, but nonetheless vanity let me respond. (Editorial comment - as those of you know who read Christopher's blog/his post from last year's series, he is an accomplished and a very "real" writer who adds a huge amount of value to what has become a globally celebrated series.)

Many of us take time out at the start of a new year for reflection, and a healthy habit that is. Sometimes, in the States anyway, we distrust those over-prone to navel-gazing. Too much introspection can be a dangerous thing and often leads to missing the change in traffic lights as people tend to self-gaze while meandering in their cars. To help alleviate this we've managed to corral most gazers and most cars into Southern California so it all kind of works out.

Yet a little introspection is a good thing. I've actually seen comet trails and coal dust both, but then again, I am ancient so don't worry if you haven't yet. They are indeed both matter at the same time hard to hold but not easily forgotten, much like the memories of love.

As it happens, ironically, this morning at o'dark thirty I rose from bed to the delicious taste of some fresh Sumatra with Stardust on my mind.

Sundays are my days. As a child I resented the forced march to church and the endless sermon telling us we were all going to hell (anyway). Well, let's get on with it, I used to think, because hell can't be as bad as this damn sermon... But as a grown man, with grown children now gone and on their own (and the best damn children in the world I must say), Sundays are my day and I purposely leave them free of any scheduled event. It is my day for reverie and introspection.

This morning I was (and still am) listening to Stardust, the absolute classic by Hoagy Carmichael. A quick search shows that something like 1,500 artists have recorded this song... Folks: that's a good song and while I prefer the rendition done by Harry Connick Jr. (he's from the South - I'm biased) there are many you could choose from. Such a haunting melody and words that, to me, speak to my soul.

Ironically Hoagy wrote the song several years before Mitchell Parish ever put words to it and yet the work is a seamless piece of art. 

It reminds me of my ex-wife, simply a beautiful woman who is a fantastic artist. The kind of person who would wake in the middle of the night and have to get to her studio to explore an idea. Her amazing eyes truly are windows to her soul and I, I was fortunate enough to look in those eyes every day. Just not for as many days as I had hoped.

The idiosyncratic timing and phrases of Stardust reach me in a place where nothing else does, every time I hear it, and I am immediately transported back to that garden wall Mitchell described, reminding me of so much beauty in my life with my ex. Following the dissolution of our union it was painful for many years to hear the song I admit. But time soldiers on.

Much like comet trails everything eventually comes to an end and, thankfully, like coal dust even the signs of a broken heart can be worn away after enough time. 

So, boys and girls, as you start the New Year full of vim and vigour and with the penchant for a new resolution or two, I wish you the best in all the parts of your life and living. 

Me? 

I've made peace with myself for having lived the most beautiful days of my life with a woman I'm likely never see again. The pain is gone even as the melody haunts my reverie.

Be well and enjoy the comet trails you ride as everything indeed in the end turns to coal dust. 

The Paths and Perceptions have Shifted

Day 35 (Monday 4th January 2016)

35 U.S.Dollars - the amount Phil Knight paid Caroline Davidson in 1971 for creating the
Nike swoosh logo. In 1983, circa 3 years after the company went public, he invited her to lunch
and gave her a diamond ring engraved with the swoosh
and an envelope filled with an undisclosed amount of Nike stock.

It gives me great pleasure to reintroduce Susannah Wheeler, a photographer and promotions editor. Last year's post was her first ever blog and explained what a tough path she had needed to tread to reach to where she was, you can read it here. What a difference a year makes... I am so pleased to see how things have changed. You can follow Susannah on Twitter (her handle is @EnglishFreckle); she often posts beautiful photographs.

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"Comet Tails and Coal Dust" - the title left me wondering where to start – I wanted to contribute after last year’s experience – and then a message with the ‘sailing high’ threw a whole new perspective on the title.  

This time last year I was reflecting on an amazing year, but also reflecting on a number of things where life hadn’t gone the way I’d planned.  This year the comet tails are whizzing and I’m moving at a better, more comfortable pace. There are more of my words in print, and I’m taking more photos than ever before.  The coal dust and darkness is still there sometimes, but it’s there as a reminder of where I’ve come from; to allow me to smile and breathe. Everything doesn’t have to be done today, there’s still time as far as I know, to plan, look forward to and enjoy the anticipation of the next bit.

My little comets are 16 and nearly 13 now, bright shining things who are blazing their own trails – my part of nurturing them is changing.  It’s time for me to take a step back as they move more independently and find their own ways.

Blaze a trail, do your own thing, life’s too short – just a few of the regular things I say to them both.  So much of growing up seems to be learning to conform, fit in, be accepted and be the same as everyone else otherwise they’re considered “weird”.  Fighting and defending your right to be different as a teenager is challenging.  But the 16 year old in particular does it, and I’m really proud of her.  She wants to act, to be on stage and she’s dedicated and focused.  The signs of the feisty two year old are back and it’s an interesting time.

Sometimes it’s tough as a parent, good cop/bad cop, providing a balanced argument, putting suggestions on the table where I can, alternatives where I need to and trying not to say a straight ‘no’ unless I really think I should: and I had to be both,  

until recently and a new addition to our lives means there’s a new dynamic coming into play.

Mutual friends, some decent timing and a bit of luck have put a new comet in my hands – our trail will light up a whole new path together.

Someone else to play the good cop role; someone to challenge why things are like they are.  Challenge with support – that’s a new experience for me and it’s enlightening.

15th century painting of Halley's Comet

The paths and perceptions of last year have shifted again.

This comet is burning bright and this time it’s love.  The dust and darkness is far behind.  What lies ahead is a bright and shiny future.  One that is full of hope and happiness.

Beth Krommes wood engraving Comet over New Hampshire, 1986

Of Nice and Men

Day 34 (Sunday 3rd January 2015)

34 is the age at which men are "at their most attractive"
(according to research conducted by Allure Magazine,
using a sample of 2000 respondents);
for women perceived peak appeal is at the age of 30.
Personally I don't think that age is important.

How are you enjoying the first weekend of the New Year? I am off to West Sussex to visit friends. I will be taking traditional New Year gifts of food, drink, light and heat to wish them well for the months ahead. I am looking forward to spending some time with them relaxing and catching up on news.

After the rush of the past few weeks, it is good to sit quiet and contemplate. This reflective post by Tim Scott hits the spot. Tim is Head of People and OD at the charity Brook, based in Liverpool and winner of the HR Management category of the 2015 Charity Times Awards. Tim is a social media adept - active on Twitter (his handle is@TimScottHR), he blogs (his site is  , but he also writes guest posts for the CIPD and for HRD (HR Director) magazine, and he has even co-authored a book on "Putting Social Media to Work" and future-casting the world of work in a decade's time. Tim has an active life IRL - he is a devoted father, husband and a music-nut. He often brightens people's timelines through his quick wit, repartee, sound advice and music recommendations.

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It feels to me like 2015 was a year of austerity and blame, celebrity and social antisocial-ness. All too often, what marked us apart was given more attention than the things we have in common. We saw it demonstrated time and time again that people are complex, messy and unpredictable. 

As we go about doing our daily stuff, we all leave trails in our wake through our actions, interactions and lack of action - like a comet's sparkly tail streams after it and coal leaves behind a dirty, powdery dust. The theme of this year's Advent blogs made me wonder whether, in this time of supposed mindfulness, we are really mindful of the trail we are leaving - and particularly the impact it has on others?

What I see on a daily basis suggests that not all of us are. For example, just a few minute ago I was walking to the station to catch the train I'm currently travelling on. Two men passed each other on the pavement in front of me, walking in opposite directions. Neither moved completely out of the others' way and they ended up catching each other's shoulders awkwardly. What surprised me most was that neither even broke their stride: without a backward glance, they carried on walking. 

Days of Judgement Cats in the City, sculpture by Laura Ford, 2015

This was hardly a life-changing incident - I imagine similar things happen thousands of times a day - but it was quite a forceful impact and for neither party to apologise or even acknowledge what happened didn't feel right somehow. Maybe I'm old-fashioned on this kind of thing but it all felt a bit, well, "not nice" as my kids would say. 

"Nice", is a seriously underrated attribute in my view. We see "nice" as being almost an insult sometimes, suggesting something insipid or just OK - particularly in business and management where we still regard Sir Alan Sugar's pantomime baddie act as something to aspire to. 

Personally, I regard being called nice as a compliment. I remember being involved with a disciplinary dismissal years ago and as I was escorting the unfortunate ex-employee from the premises, she thanked me. I said, somewhat incredulously, "why are you thanking me? We've just dismissed you!" She said "Yeah, but you did it nicely". 

Not every dismissal I have been involved with has gone quite so smoothly but that's an occupational hazard for a whole other blog...

My ultimate point I guess is that sometimes HOW we do stuff is as important as WHAT we do in terms of the impact on other people. In our day-to-day interactions, we can choose the how, even if we can't choose the what. Would it have hurt those two guys to have apologised to each other? Certainly not as much as the initial impact must have - and it might have eased the glowering look on the face of the chap coming towards me. So my challenge is, as we enter the start of the New Year and look back on the old: what is the impact you are having on the people around you? What trail do you leave in your wake? As someone said at a conference I was at recently, "Do you light up a room when you enter it - or when you leave it?" Are you sprinkling magical comet trails or depositing sooty coal dust?

P.S. Apologies for the appalling title. Sometimes once I think of these things I can't get them out of my head. Just like you are probably now singing Kylie to yourself. Sorry again.

Shine a Light

Day 33 (Saturday 2nd January 2016)

33 percent of the world's adequate or high-quality food-producing land has
been lost over past 40 years, a speed surpassing nature's ability to replace diminished soil.
It takes 500 years to form 2.5 cm of topsoil under normal agricultural conditions.

For many of us, today is the day of lull, perhaps going to the gym or clearing up and replenishing stores, after a period of partying, rest and reunion. New year's resolutions abound and most of us are looking forward. Today's post slightly touches on the concept of resolutions, but not just as a fad for the New Year. This blog has been submitted by Mark Catchlove, the Director of the Insight Group for Herman Miller's EMEA region. Mark and I share a passion for the working environment. I first encountered Mark on Twitter (you can follow him too - his handle is @markcatchlove). He writes an excellent blog and his thinking is often at the cutting edge of workplace thinking. Mark is musical - an enthusiastic and accomplished singer and guitarist. He grew up in Kent, the "Garden of England" - perhaps that is why he has a fine appreciation of fundamental human needs and the pleasure of great surroundings.

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Comet tails and coal dust made me think of Light and Darkness

We live in dark times. The reality is we have always lived in dark times.

But in darkness, there is still the opportunity for a light to shine. That light can be you.

• When someone is in need, you can be available.

• When someone lacks confidence, you can build them up.

• When someone needs to talk, you can listen intently.

• When someone needs advice, you can be their sage.

• When someone needs to belong, you can welcome them in.

• When someone wants to scream, you can ask them why.

• When someone feels left out, you can pull them in.

• When someone needs to laugh, you can be their clown.

• When someone needs protection, you can be their shield.

Because you never know .... that someone might just be you.

Be a comet tail shining brightly ...........

Comet Hale-Bopp with its blazing tail 

Have a wonderful New Year - and be there to shine a light.

"There's a light...over at the Frankenstein place..." 

Comet's tail

Day 32 (New Year's Day - Friday 1st January 2016)

32 muscles can be found in each of a cat's ears (compared to just 6 in a human's).
A cat can turn its ears 180 degrees.

Welcome to 2016 - a whole new year for us to play with. I hope it is a wonderful one for you and all those you care about.

David D'Souza is the contributor of today's New Year's Day post and, no matter how hard you partied last night, I am sure that you will find it an excellent read. You can always rely on David to raise a smile whilst simultaneously making a thought-provoking point - you should try his regular blog for HRD (HR Director magazine) or his own blog, 101 Half Connected Things, as well as his regular posts on LinkedIn. Since April 2015 David has worked as Head of London for the CIPD, the UK-based professional body for HR and People Development, championing better work and working lives. I view myself as extremely fortunate in having David as a friend and former colleague: he is one of the brightest, most innovative, commercially-minded, values-centred and inspirational people I know who is involved in transforming HR and the workplace for the benefit of all. He is a devoted father and genuine partner and pal to his wife, as well as a wonderful friend; being selfish, my only regret since he joined the CIPD is that he works so hard, and attends many evening events, so that I am unable to see him as often as I would like. David - I wish you and your lovely D'Souza ladies (and all of you reading this) an awesome 2016.

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So, this year’s topic is Comet’s tail. I looked quite hurriedly at the topic, but it seemed to make sense given the festive timing and the fact that most of you will have picked up your presents from Santa without giving any thought to supply chain conditions.

Retail Week Christmas Index for 2015

An overview of the working conditions at the North Pole:

If you are the reindeer following Comet - or any of the other reindeer at the front - I imagine the view is a little bit unpleasant. Seeing Comet’s tail will be the least offensive part of the role. 

Shackled to a sleigh with an unreasonable expectation as to how much work you can do, you stare ahead and all you can see is another reindeer’s posterior. A black hole of hopelessness. You only get to follow the path already taken by someone else and I imagine that, at times, the whiff of carrots is overwhelming. It must be hard to keep track of progress when your field of vision mainly consists of the (slightly too close for comfort) bottoms of colleagues. I know I wouldn’t fancy that role.

If you are Rudolf you have been part of one of the most celebrated cases of workplace bullying that I’m aware of. Singled out for your nose being bright (last time I checked this isn’t explicitly covered under the Equality Act, surely a shortsighted piece of legislation) it appears that Santa doesn’t really need you unless the weather is even more unpleasant than usual - at which point suddenly you are promoted without any paperwork or mention of an adjustment in salary. And you are supposed to be thankful that, at last, you will stop being teased by colleagues, not because they realise their previous behaviour was wrong but simply because you are slightly more useful to them now.

For the reindeer at the front the experience is entirely different. The crisp night air must be exhilarating as they fly through the air on that most special of nights, delighting in the sense of teamwork that ensures that others follow their direction and multiply their effort. The destination for them must be clear and, even when they are tired, they will be the first ones to realise that a break or the end of the night is coming soon. And their face will be easiest to make out in any team photos.

For the elves apparently you only get one day off a year – at Christmas – and you never get to see the end consumer of your product. They’ve just had their annual break.

For Santa the job is even easier. You take all the plaudits, call out directions and occasionally make motivational noises. All of the thanks come your way – you get pies and alcohol, your team get leftover veg. 

It’s a great job. It’s also apparently possible to outsource public appearances to other people without any hint of criticism.

Each day I work for the CIPD, championing better work and working lives for people.

In the evenings I mainly concern myself with the organisational dynamics of Santa’s operations and what that means for reindeer – the forgotten workers.

So next Christmas, as Santa’s sleigh draws near, spare some time to think about whoever has to look right up Comet’s tail. It’s dark up there.