Damn Good - Day 21

Friday 21st December 2018 

21 Shillings make a Guinea - although no longer circulated (it ceased being minted in 1814),
the term guinea survives as a unit of account in some fields, including horse racing, Oxbridge May
Ball tickets and the sale of rams to mean an amount of one pound and one shilling (21 shillings)
which is £1.05. It was the first English machine-struck gold coin, originally worth one pound sterling,
equal to twenty shillings, but rises in the price of gold relative to silver caused the value of the guinea
to increase, at times to as high as thirty shillings. From 1717 to 1816, its value was officially
fixed at twenty-one shillings.

I am not going to be back in the office until after Christmas - it has been so full-on over the past few days and weeks that that feels really weird. We had a great party last night. Today I am driving to Somerset to take my mother to hospital. All being well, she and I are looking forward to going out to dinner tonight with friends and some other members of the family. It will be wonderful to spend some quality time with loved ones. The older I get the more I appreciate the importance of love and relationships. Is there someone or some people you can see or renew contact with at this festive time? My mother is sliding into severe dementia; I am so glad that we made and cherished our moments together over the years, as you can never get that time back.

Today's post is reflective and open. It is by Sara Duxbury, whose post last year caused a lot of positive and active discussion about mental health, friendship and the workplace.  Sara is an amazing lady, full of energy and ideas; she works as a business psychologist and is Head of Commercial at Carter Corson. After studying Psychology, Sara commenced her career in Retail and held operational roles before moving into Learning and Development and through that into HR. She has been an award winning HR Director with particular expertise in Professional Services. Sara has an excellent reputation as a thought-leader and is an active and engaging member of the social media community; you can connect with her on Twitter (her handle is @SaraJDux).

All the illustrations and music in this post were selected by Sara herself.

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#MyStory – the sequel

If last year’s blog was about putting myself out there, this year is about how I lost myself out there.

When I wrote my Advent Blog this time last year (http://kategl.blogspot.com/2018/01/mystory-day-37.html)  the response I received was completely unprecedented. I was incredibly humbled by words of respect, admiration, love and the “we knew you were mad, and we love you anyway”. I was in fact quite speechless (which for those who know me, you will know the world must have been considerably quieter for a moment!). The whole experience at the time, felt like the ultimate high five!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmDzqWqTXa8

Martin Luke Brown - Opalite

When I reflect on the year that has passed since, I can see that there have been unexpected consequences, which have caused me heartache

Having a public support network meant that what I used to keep private, I now get support from my work colleagues and my friends – I have help. I bet you’re thinking how can this be a bad thing Sara? But all my coping strategies involved up until then… me. To now have people caring and wanting to share the burden was and is strangely difficult. I find it hard not to withdraw.

My self-confidence took a serious battering – I felt afraid and doubted myself. I still do on an hourly/daily basis. By being so honest to myself, I think I have made myself vulnerable and my imposter syndrome just LOVES that. I’m still learning how to channel that negative drain into positive energy.

My worst fear did come true – some people did and do judge me. Some do view my behaviour without understanding where it might be coming from. I think if they could spend some time inside my head, they might be kinder?

I’m overdoing it – my off-switch has completely left the building. You know you need to look at your wellbeing when you are conducting a three-week sleep study on yourself to determine if you are getting enough sleep! Maybe I think I need to prove myself more? (see previous two points)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dmQ3QWpy1Q

Linkin Park & Kiiara – Heavy

I remember disagreeing with quite a few people last year who described me as brave. I feel more like this year I have needed to be brave, and I think I will need to continue to be brave to begin/carry on making good choices in this brave new Dux world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwPa71UZRaQ

The Wombats – Lemon to a Knife Fight

I can only do my best and I think I need to learn that my best is good enough. Hope is seeing photos of me like the below (thank you Kelly Swingler!) where I see captured, just for a moment, a glimpse of that girl who still gets so much joy from a wonky life (especially if it involves tacos!).

So, if you are someone who doesn’t struggle with your mental health, use your powers for good.

To quote this awesome girl I know: “My biggest hope is that by sharing my story, you who are sitting there battling on both sides, or you managing someone with mental health struggles. Look at me and see you CAN be the best version of you, be DAMN good at what you do, and be a bit bat-shit crazy” Here’s to hope…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_5WHnQd9pY

Curtis Walsh – Full Recovery

Down at the coalface

Day 45 (Thursday 14th January 2016)

45 rpm vinyl phonodisc records and a bakerlite player were introduced in 1949,
by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA), as they were seen as being smaller, more
durable and providing a higher fidelity recording than those produced on the traditional phonograph cylinders or 78 rpm gramophone records made of shellac.

Jon Bartlett is the author of today's post. Jon was one of the people I got to know soon after I first joined Twitter and, as well as being in contact via social media, we now meet when we can IRL, and I am proud to call him my friend. The three glorious photographs of sky-high drama and showers of sparks like a comet's tail, used to illustrate the year just gone, are all taken by Jon - as many of you know, he is a talented photographer. You can see more of his pictures on his work website: Project Libero, as well as getting a better feeling for him and how he operates. Jon is a coach, trainer, specialist mediator, mentor and one of the UK's recognised experts on mental health and related issues within the workplace. Jon writes an excellent blog at projectlibero.wordpress.com

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When I started my business I had a vague business plan about helping operational staff rather than executive teams. My experience in organisations led me to the conclusion that many of the frontline teams had management “done to them”, rather than it being collaborative or generative. I wanted to show staff how to manage upwards, how to take the initiative and become leaders themselves.

Along the way I got pleasantly side tracked into delivering a lot of training and consultancy on mental health and the organisational challenges (and opportunities) of managing this well. When I started this, I naively assumed that leadership teams would want to, well, lead on these issues. The reality was somewhat different. So as I look back and reflect on 2015 I realise how much time I’ve spent at “the coalface” this year. Not for me the comet trails of the C-suite but rather being down in the coal dust at an operational level. The place where lots of people want to see change, where they are willing to embody that change and push it upwards. With teams who are ready to seek forgiveness rather than permission.

This year

I’ve stood in front of a 15 strong SMT who all agreed that something “must be done” and were somewhat lost, until I pointed out that presumably we had all the necessary decision makers in the room…  And had their junior staff get on with setting up a knowledge sharing lunch and learn session.

I’ve had a senior operational leader discount my training to their staff as “more time with the men in white coats”….  And had their support staff make amazing adjustments to keep people on the team and bring them back to health and productivity.

I’ve heard a senior executive ponder on whether “we have those sort of people round here”….  And had 60% of their management cadre sign up for training and another 10% ask to be on a waiting list.

I don’t count those as my successes. Sure I was involved but I didn’t lead those initiatives. Good HR and L&D teams did. Motivated staff did.

My successes? Well the nature of my work these days mean that I spend a lot of time with people going through tough and frightening situations. Getting some of those people to look up and start to aim for the comet tails, for their own personal goals is reward in itself but perhaps my happiest moment was the time when someone talked to me about 10 years of self harm. The first time they’d spoken to someone other than a clinician and the trigger for them to ask for help from their employer to prevent it happening again.

All in all a successful year and with the prospect for more of the same in 2016, that’s enough to keep me chasing comets.